Sunday thoughts

At my Institute class on Thursday, we were talking about Ezra, and we read the entry for him in the Bible Dictionary. The most interesting part to me is the following, which summarizes Ezra's teachings:

1. The promises of the Lord through his prophets shall all be fulfilled.
2. Discipline and patience are borne of disappointment.
3. There is eternal significance in everyday life.
4. Preparation is needed for the rule of Messiah, the law being the schoolmaster to bring men to Christ.

I especially love #3, and believe it wholeheartedly. But it's the kind of thing that, for me at least, bears repeating. Sometimes I need to be reminded that the things I do everyday matter, and that I need to be careful about my choices, my priorities.

I was just reading in my Book of Mormon commentary: We have agency, and the way we use our agency determines our future. Of course I know this, but it is so important, and it is a good reminder. It is also something that I really want to instill in my children.

I also believe that there is much beauty in everyday life.

Here is one of the most beautiful things that happened last week:

I think I have mentioned before that our new bishop interviews the sacrament meeting speakers each week and includes a little bio in the program. Since Lucas spoke last week, his bio was there, and it mentioned a love of peanut butter.

When Max went to a neighbor's house to teach a cello lesson (a new job!), our neighbors sent him home with a package for Lucas. Inside was a jar of peanut butter and a sweet card complimenting him in detail on the good job he did on his talk.

It was the nicest thing, and it touched me. Just an example of how everyday acts, gestures of kindness and thoughtfulness and goodness, can make our everyday lives significant and beautiful.

I really love the way acts of kindness have a domino effect, inspiring us to be more kind and think more of others.

a happy return

{name tag from our ward party on Friday night}

I feel like I've been absent from my life (and my blog) for far too long. Man, that was a long sickness. Happily, I'm back!

(I noticed in iPhoto that I only took 86 pictures in all of January! Unprecedented! And very telling.)

Yesterday morning, two sweet friends from my neighborhood came over to help me clean my house! Laurel proposed the idea at church on Sunday, and I feebly protested that I thought I was getting well enough to clean. But she insisted that, after such a long illness, the house probably needed a lot of work (all too true). Chris heard our conversation and said she would be coming as well. Let's face it, I was in no position to reject this kind offer.

Laurel brought her vacuum, since ours recently stopped working, and they both brought cleaning supplies. They stayed for 3 hours! And when they left, my whole house was clean. (It is hardly ever all clean at the same time. True confession.)

• Clean kitchen.
• Clean bathrooms (I even washed the walls!).
• All floors vacuumed.
• Couch and chair cushions vacuumed.
• Blinds vacuumed.
• Tables cleared of all clutter and detritus and cleaned.
• Tile mopped.
• Piano cleaned (badly needed).
• Everything dusted.
• They even washed the windows and glass doors in our living area!

I got some laundry going and heard that satisfactory hum of a washing machine and dishwasher going at the same time.

I have no words. It was one of those times when I felt utterly rescued. I went from feeling quite overwhelmed—like I was surfacing from the depths—to feeling on top of things, energized, and ready for re-entry.




Oh, and my kitchen is finally finished! I polished up the last remaining bit of painting during the first week of January (before I got sick) and installed the hardware a couple of weeks ago on a day when I thought I was better. (It was disappointing to learn otherwise, but at least I accomplished something big!)

I love it.

Anyway. After my sweet friends left, I just sat and looked around for about 15 minutes.

Then I decided to go get dog food, as we were completely out. I also ran to the grocery store to get some necessary items for an afternoon of baking (I had to make 3 double batches of muffins to take to Lucas's play practice today).

It was the first day that I didn't spend any time in bed! It was a very full day, and I was exhausted at the end of it, but absolutely thrilled that I could do it all. Doing laundry, errands, and baking bring a whole new satisfaction when you haven't been able to do anything for awhile. So thankful. I feel like I could conquer the world!

Sunday thoughts on Tuesday

I've been sick for quite awhile now.

I was on antibiotics for a sinus infection, but it didn't clear up. My doctor put me on Cipro to try to knock it out. I started taking it on Thursday evening, and on Saturday morning I woke up to a rash of hives all over my stomach. I immediately called my doctor. His office was closed, but he returned my call and told me to discontinue the Cipro (already done), and take Benadryl every four hours.

By Saturday afternoon, my right hand was swollen like a water balloon and the rash had spread to my thighs. I called my doctor again and he said that the medicine takes awhile to clear the system. I was to continue the Benadryl regimen and go to the ER if I had any difficulty breathing (!).

On Sunday, the hives had spread all the way down to my feet and hands and they had gotten so big that in some places it looked like one giant hive. Both of my hands were swollen and I could barely move them. My whole body felt like it was burning and itching and everything hurt. Strangely, my cough (the sinus infection had morphed into bronchitis) largely subsided.

By Sunday evening, I honestly felt like I could not go on. I could not get comfortable in any position. I could not remember ever feeling so sick. I couldn't really imagine not being sick anymore. Marc called our home teacher, who came over immediately so they could give me a blessing. After the blessing, we decided to go to the ER.

The ER doctor wanted to give me 3 medications by IV, but my hands and arms were so swollen, they couldn't find a vein so I had to have the IV in my thumb! That was a painful first.

After receiving Benadryl, Pepcid, and Prednisone by IV, they examined me and determined that the hives looked to be subsiding somewhat, so they sent me home with orders to continue the three drugs orally for three more days. Oh, and to watch the rash carefully because it could develop into a life-threatening one requiring hospitalization! Good grief.



I wasn't really feeling any better. I was, to be honest, despairing. But here's the good stuff: throughout the truly miserable weekend, the only thing I could do to gain any peace at all was to turn to the Lord in prayer. I thought of anything at all that I could be grateful for. I was grateful that my cough wasn't bothering me very much. I was thankful that Max was willing to be home and put Eva to bed and take care of essential things (Marc was at the Sundance film festival until Sunday). I was thankful for Benadryl.

I was thankful that Jill came over and brought soup and croissants and cleaned up the kitchen.

I was thankful for a sweet neighbor who brought a bag of oranges and cough drops.

I was thankful that Marc was home and could take care of me and go to the pharmacy.
I was thankful that normally I have hands that work and allow me to do all kinds of work and things that I enjoy. But mostly, I was thankful for the Savior and his sacrifice and marveled again and again about the pains he must have borne on our behalf.

I had to keep doing it over and over, but you know what? It really helped! Those prayers sustained me when nothing else could.

When I woke up yesterday, the Prednisone had kicked in and my hands weren't swollen anymore. I could use them! And it felt like a miracle.

Throughout the day, the hives started to recede and fade. They still itch like crazy, but they are no longer burning. My cough came back with a vengeance, but in a strange way, I didn't mind, because it was so much easier to deal with than the pains of the previous two days.

I was able to walk and read. I even put in a load of laundry! And I was grateful beyond words.

I still have bronchitis. I am coughing like crazy today. I'm weak and not doing much beyond sleeping and watching Downton Abbey on DVD (thanks, Amy!). But Eva went to school today, which was a huge blessing. And when I went to bed last night, all I could think was: Amazing. Grace.

one year ago

It's hard to believe that one year ago today, my darling grandmother died.

I count it among my greatest blessings that I was able to be with her at the end, even though she was not conscious. It was wonderful to be surrounded by so many family members who all loved her so much, and I am glad I was able to say goodbye to the woman who was so influential in my life.

And to hear the sweetest goodbye that her sweetheart offered.

Today I looked through the pictures I took at the hospice and during the funeral preparations. I decided that those were too sad. I prefer to remember her as she was right up until the end: vibrant, witty, unselfish, supportive, loving, refined.

Denise had the brilliant idea of marking this occasion by doing something that Grandma would have done: baking and then taking the goods to someone who could use a lift. I made her buttermilk bread (for the first time), and I will be delivering it tomorrow morning to the women that I visit teach, along with some Conference note-taking sheets.

My mom sent several of us a package, to be opened today, in remembrance of Grandma.

I think it's just perfect. I hung it up today above my kitchen window. Even though I think of Grandma often (maybe even more often now that she's not with us), I don't think I can have too many reminders.

Tonight when I got in the car, instrumental jazz was on. Normally, I would hurriedly switch the channel. But tonight, I left it on and just remembered how much she loved it.

I thought I might even do some ironing today. But then I thought, let's not get crazy...

Today was a happy day. I love remembering CJP, and how blessed I am to be a part of her family, and to be the recipient of her tutelage. Besides, I know she would want us to be happy.


p.s. Tomorrow starts General Conference weekend, one of my two favorite weekends of the year! www.sugardoodle.net has a bunch of printable packets for kids, an awesome packet for youth, and even a great page for adults taking notes (packet #10)! Now, off to mix up some of CJP's doughnut dough...

birthday report

Last week at PT, a couple of the guys asked me what I was going to do for my birthday. Their suggestions: get a tattoo or go skydiving. Um, no and no. Apparently they don't know me very well. As Denise says, I am a low-level recreator.

I had a very relaxing birthday celebration that just kept going and going!

On Saturday, I went out to lunch and to a movie with Jill.

On Sunday, Marc stayed home with a sick Eva. I took the boys to church, then came home, blogged, and took a delightful nap.

Marc invited his family over and cooked my favorite dinner (lemon chicken, broccoli with blue cheese, and rice). Michelle brought her amazing spinach/strawberry salad and Grandpa Bob brought lots of beautiful fruit (Grandma Mim was sick and had to stay home).

Bob and Mim gave me the sweetest, most clever gift! Four numbered envelopes, one for each decade of my life. Each one had an age-appropriate card, a very nice hand-written message, and some cash. I'm going to have to remember that one.

Michelle gave me this book I have been wanting to read for what seems like forever, and 3 pieces of luscious wool felt. (I didn't even know it came in houndstooth and plaid!!)

I forgot to take a picture, but Emily gave me Adele's new album, which I secretly had been pining for – yes!

Marc also made my traditional German chocolate birthday cake. YUM.

He put Eva to bed and slept on the trundle bed in her room to make sure that I got to sleep through the night.

On Monday, I slept in until I woke up naturally, oh rare joy! Then I stayed in bed and read, one of my favorite things in life. I got up and got ready, even though I had no plans to leave the house. A day of not having to drive the kids anywhere, woohoo!

I opened Jessie's packages after I got up. She made me 9 cd's! So exciting. She made me tiny, fridge magnet-size mantras modeled after the canvas ones in her kitchen. I love them. She bought me 2 eyeshadows, nail polish, and eyeliner from Ulta (on my wish list), and sent two cute fabrics! A motherlode, for sure.

Jill stopped by with balloons and a drink from Sonic.

Patsy sent me this beautiful cookbook from Williams-Sonoma. It is chock full of photographs of Paris, and I loved flipping through and identifying some of my favorite haunts.

Marc hadn't shaved for several days, and as a joke, he created this mustache and goatee. Every time I looked at him, it cracked me up, because I have never seen him any way other than clean-shaven or a bit scruffy all over.

He took the kids out shopping, so I was treated to some time at home, alone (why is that such a delight?). I watched an episode of Pillars of the Earth while working on a wedding gift that is 4 months overdue (!).

I then went down to my studio to do some cleaning/organizing, while listening to some of my new cd's. It's hard to find the time to spend in there, so it felt amazing to have a couple of hours uninterrupted.

And, and, Marc took the boys to get haircuts. That is a gift!

Lucas wandered downstairs eventually and seemed anxious for me to come and see the gifts they had prepared:


Max bought me an iTunes gift card. I always think it is so sweet when kids spend some of their limited funds on someone else.

Marc got me all of these items from my Amazon wish list (the universal wish list is a brilliant idea).

The boys got me ankle weights, also from my wish list. (Gotta keep up my knee exercises, you know.)

Eva picked out this scarf for me and contributed her last $5 from her Christmas money. Apparently, Marc suggested several possible gifts, but she rejected them all until she saw this.

Marc also got me this Bosu ball, a late addition to my wish list, when I was looking around at PT trying to figure out how to replicate things at home. Everyone loves it.

My mom sent me a necklace, a pair of earrings, a Cutco vegetable peeler,

a cute glass butter dish, and some lengths of fancy silk ribbon.

My mom and dad also sent me a check to apply towards my pricey knee braces. Marc said I should use it for something fun, but I hurried and paid it towards our balance yesterday before I could change my mind.

We were going to all go out to dinner, but Eva was still too sick, so we just got Mexican take-out instead. I watched Chuck with the boys and then House with Marc. Definitely my kind of day.

Tulips from Marc – I love spring!

Amy M. sent me this darling necklace! (It's silver, not gold, that was just a weird reflection.) I love the sentiment and the camera charm.

Last night we had our book club birthday celebration for Collette and me. It felt strange not to bring a dinner contribution when I knew they would be short-handed, but also nice to be a little bit spoiled.

Collette brought me this darling bag with HOPE coasters inside. Perfect!

Check out this card/gift certificate holder that Amy made. Seriously. The girls gave me a g.c. to Amazon, which kind of makes you feel like you have a world of possibilities in your hand. (Because you do.)

Today I got this gift from Kacey – a little tin of covered buttons. That is genius.

And a card from my grandpa with cash inside!

I have been so spoiled the last few days. It was actually hard to return to normal life, packing lunches, driving kids, going to the doctor, doing laundry and grocery shopping. Can you get used to a life of luxury that quickly?

And in case you were wondering, I think I'm over the anxiety about turning 40. It feels a lot like 39, and 38, and 37...

Thanksgiving in January

In November, I searched all of our local grocery and drugstores for Brach's chocolate stars – a necessary ingredient for our chocolate Thanksgiving turkeys. Alas, I searched in vain, and my kids were quite disappointed (as was I).

Imagine my surprise when I spotted some on the shelves at Target recently. On the baking aisle. So weird. Of course I bought them.

Tonight it was Lucas's turn to plan Family Home Evening. Making turkeys was the central focus of the night. He gave us a brief message about Thanksgiving not being the only time we should be grateful. We can just as easily express gratitude in January. And so we did.


Thankfully, it turned Eva's day around. A day fraught with emotion and tantrums. It didn't get turned around until 7:00 p.m., but I was grateful nonetheless.

After we ran out of chocolate stars, Marc fashioned this malted milk ball caterpillar. A first.

Lucas always has to make one with a smiley face. It's a tradition.

Especially on a busy day filled with bill paying, physical therapy, chauffeuring, dance class, helping with a science fair project, calming over-the-top emotions, and making dinner, I was happy to take time out for this gathering, talking, and laughing. It was definitely a good thing.

I am thankful for...

lemons & limes
the smell of Marc's new cologne
soft yarn on my knitting needles
free fonts
hugs from my kids
my parents
my in-laws
Creative Friday tomorrow, hooray!
homemade rolls
cozy socks
Bengal Spice tea w/coconut cream creamer
music
polka dots
a stack of books waiting to be read
blankets
my camera
UP rewards at RiteAid
Bananagrams
TV on DVD/streaming Netflix
my silicone rolling pin
the Conference issue of the Ensign
candied yams
leftovers
smooth-writing black pens
good vision
pretty accessories
good friends
butter
pretty papers and fabrics
inspiration at the click of a mouse
wrapping paper
ribbon
online banking
a furnace that works
a car that works
lime green
monograms
light
Advil
prayer
faith
the Atonement of Jesus Christ
purpose

Happy Thanksgiving!

Sunday thoughts

This weekend I went to Time Out for Women with Mim and Michelle. Oh my! It far exceeded my expectations. 4000 women gathered to learn together. Much laughter and many tears, shared with two of my favorite women.

The theme was "We hope all things...," taken from President Uchtdorf's talk about infinite hope. Every talk was wonderful and inspiring. I took so many notes! I think I will share them one at a time, because typing them all in at once is a bit overwhelming.


Virginia Hinckley Pearce

What is a successful life? How do we measure progress and success?

Beware of false measures of success.
Get out of the business of competition. (Amen, sister.)
Comparison is the fast track to misery. It takes the fun out of life. Just make a conscious choice not to do that.

Money, children's accomplishments, even wonderful things like missions and temple marriages are not accurate measures of success. We cannot measure our success based on the actions of others who have their agency. (My grandma used to say that you can't take the credit for the successes of your children; and you can't take the blame for their failures, either.)

Discouragement weakens your faith. It is not pleasing to the Lord when we worry endlessly.

Good measures of progress and success:

Am I stretching and growing? Move just a little beyond your current capacity.
Do I trust Christ?
Am I striving to obey his commandments?
Am I taking advantage of his atoning sacrifice to develop Christlike attributes?
Am I losing my disposition to do evil?
Am I beginning to see things and people as Heavenly Father and the Savior do?
Am I working hard?
Do I love people and desire their salvation?
Can I feel the Holy Ghost working through me?

The single most important skill we can acquire in this life is to qualify for, receive, and act on personal revelation. This is also the best way to avoid comparison because the Spirit will tell you how you stand before God, if you are progressing, what you need to change, and how to do it.

We must know that the course we are pursuing is in accordance to the will of God, and the Spirit can confirm this to us.

When we are filled with the Spirit, we have souls that are satisfied. He can fill every need, every longing, every vacuum. It is impossible to feel despairing when we are filled with the Spirit.

Celebrate your own growth and that of others.

Peace, joy, and hope are available to those who measure success properly, and this is success that no one can take away from you.


I loved every little thing about this talk. Such a good reminder about how we view success, and wonderful ways to gauge our progress. Yes, I have a long way to go, but I can also see that I'm much farther along the path than I was 5 or 10 years ago. I'm excited and motivated to keep pressing forward!

(**Max was away at a swim meet and Marc was shooting a wedding, so Grandpa Bob took Eva and Lucas out on a grandparent date yesterday. They went to the planetarium, out to lunch, and to the Museum of Natural History. My kids are so lucky! And so am I.)

good and not so good

Good: Eva let me do this for crazy hair day on Wednesday! I loved looking at her, and her hair is still somewhat curly. (Don't ask me why I think her hair is cute curly, but not so much mine, but I do.)

Not so good: Lucas was home sick for three days this week.

Good: He's feeling better, and he read about 650 pages while lying on the couch.

Not so good: I have his cold now and I'm pretty miserable. (I'm hoping that it will run its course and I'll be feeling fit as a fiddle when I go to Denver for Charlotte's wedding on Thursday!)

Good: I got my hair cut and colored today after 3 months' worth of re-growth!

Good: Max had his first swim meet this week and also went on a 50-mile bike ride with his Scout troop! Oh to be in such good shape.

Good: It's almost time to pick the grapes and make juice!

Good: I don't have to teach primary tomorrow!

momentous day

Yesterday would have been my grandmother's 84th birthday. I thought about her even more yesterday than usual, which is quite a lot. So many things remind me of her, whether they be physical gifts she gave me, recipes she passed on and/or taught me how to make, or the wisdom she freely shared. I sure do miss her.

Emily and Denise came up with the idea to start a tradition of baking one of her cakes on her birthday. I think it's brilliant. I couldn't squeeze it into my day this time, but I'm definitely planning to participate in the future. (The German chocolate cake she is holding in the above photo is my very favorite.)

The newest addition to our family was also born! My brother Ryan's baby Collin was born yesterday. I'm so happy for Ryan and Sam.

My emotions are so close to the surface. I just can't help thinking that Grandma is up there helping us along...

hallelujah

1. Max was finally able to take some of his final exams from last year's electronic high school courses. 5 of them! He'll be taking the 6th soon, and then he'll only have one more course to finish. This process has been so much more than we anticipated, and I think we both are feeling pretty great about the end being in sight.

2. I was given a co-teacher for my primary class! She came for the first time last week, and it was by far the best week we've ever had. I was so thrilled. Yesterday was not quite so good, but hey. I have another adult in there and I don't have to prepare a lesson every single week!

3. Marc found out today that he will in fact be able to teach the extra course this semester that allows us to make it financially. We had been seriously stressed about that, as it was not looking good at all. Not that we'll be swimming in it now, but we will get by, and that is a very good thing.

Hallelujah, one and all.

Sunday thoughts

Today was a bit of a difficult day at church.

I had been away from my Primary class for 3 weeks, and I was psyching myself up to go back with a good attitude. Today they exhibited the worst behavior I've seen in any class, ever. I'm ready to throw up my hands in defeat.

I have prayed. I've tried to love them into good behavior. I've tried bribery. I've tried praise. I've tried to appeal to their vanity by telling them that they're the oldest kids in junior primary and they need to set the standard for the younger ones.

Nothing I've tried has worked.

I don't want to go back next week! Should I call their parents and have them come sit with them? What? Seriously. Hit me with your best ideas, I'm desperate here.


The only thing I really got out of church today was the opening hymn, so in an effort to not be totally negative in my Sunday thoughts, I'll share it with you:

Each life that touches ours for good
Reflects thine own great mercy, Lord;
Thou sendest blessings from above
Through words and deeds of those who love.

What greater gift dost thou bestow,
What greater goodness can we know
Than Christlike friends, whose gentle ways
Strengthen our faith, enrich our days.

Truly a gift I receive with gratitude.

Seattle, day 1

On our first day in Seattle, I discovered what would be the best part of the trip for me: I got to sleep in! Eva was sharing a bed with Lucas in the second bedroom and Max slept in a murphy bed in the family room. So when Eva woke up, instead of calling to me as she does every morning, she woke up Lucas! He was such a good sport and played her imaginary games with her until the rest of us got up, which was substantially later. He's pretty much my hero.

Since we were staying downtown, we could walk to a lot of places we wanted to visit. Eva's still so small, she can still fit in her stroller, which is convenient when we're doing a lot of walking. We had to stop to pet a lot of dogs, though.

Our first stop was Le Panier at Pike Place Market for some breakfast pastries. We sat on a grassy hill and watched the "Danger Danger Magic Show" while we ate (basically a street performer/juggler). The kids thought it was hilarious.

I'm not sure who left this watermelon on the grass, but it says summer to me.

Next stop: the aquarium.

Some of the starfish in the touch pool. When I see them all piled on top of each other like this, I wonder if they like to snuggle or just don't have anywhere else to go.

I love the contrast in the two girls' outfits.

This octopus was on the move, constantly whipping its tentacles around, and the school group standing in front of us couldn't get enough of it.

We saw another octopus in a different tank that was trying to reach through to get to the other one. It was sad, really.

Of course Eva loved the interactive play.

I don't really get this picture, but I think it's funny.

I can't even remember what they were all looking at now, I just liked seeing them all so engrossed.

And I don't know who this girl is, but I love the way she and the fish were checking each other out!

It's like he was posing.

Next stop: the Pacific Science Center.

This was a harbinger of happiness for Eva.

The first room we entered was filled with dinosaurs, and I thought we'd never get Eva to move on to the rest of the museum. (Carnivores are her special favorite.)

This is just so Max. He probably understands what it means. (Don't ask me.)

This is for you, Jess!

Oh great, Lucas is camouflaged in this shot...

They got to make paper boomerangs and learn to fly them. Lucas turned out to be a great boomerang flyer, who knew?

We went into a tropical butterfly house, which was a hit with everyone. Max and I were excited to take pictures.


The others made fun of us, saying that we could just look with our eyes and enjoy the experience (as if). Eva was terribly disappointed that no butterflies landed on her.

The boys enjoyed the giant guitar and played it from the inside. We perused the gift shop for a bit, where Eva found her new very special T. Rex friend, Red Eye.

While we were looking around, Max realized that he didn't have his camera bag. He thought he had set it down outside the restrooms and forgot it. We quickly retraced our steps, but of course it was no longer there. Fortunately, some honest person found it and turned it in! We had to ask about 4 different people before we tracked it down, and they were all amazed that it was turned in because it's such a nice camera. Whew!! Thank you, stranger with integrity.

Max spent the next 1/2 hour beating himself up.

We returned to the hotel and I took the kids swimming briefly and then we went back to the room to watch So You Think You Can Dance (a family favorite).

We thought Marc's parents would have been proud of all we did on the first day. We almost kept pace with their energy level (but not quite).

I guess the only bad thing about the day was the fact that it was 95 degrees! In Seattle! With no A/C. Ugh. I so do not do well in the heat.