Special mutual road show

At the beginning of this school year, Max received a stake calling to be a youth counselor in a group of special needs youth. Each counselor was assigned a buddy to work with one-on-one. Max's buddy was Robbie.

They had mutual every Thursday night (in addition to our ward's Wednesday night mutual), and once a month, a Special Mutual sacrament meeting was held.

Recently, Eva and I attended their end of year road show. (Marc was out of town and Lucas had to be at his dance class.)

Lighting was bad and we didn't have good seats, so I didn't get too much in the way of photos.

They had a Mother Goose theme, proposed by one of the special needs youth.

My favorite part was when they did a rap to Baa Baa Black Sheep. Also, there was a boy who had the job of running all the way around the gym with a sign announcing each new nursery rhyme that was highly entertaining.

At the end of the show, there was an impromptu number by these three guitarists and a singer, who knew every word of Eye of the Tiger. It was awesome.

Max was at the piano the whole time, playing little interludes and accompaniments.

Last night, Max attended a closing fireside for all of the counselors, marking the end of his assignment. I think it was really a great experience!

books 2011 #26-31

A Red Herring Without Mustard by Alan Bradley

My rating: 3 of 5 stars

For some reason, I didn't love this one quite as much as the other Flavia books. It wasn't a page-turner for me in the same way.

But I still love Flavia, and I will still read any and all books Bradley writes about her.

I particularly loved the ending. Of course Father is proud of her!

A favorite passage:

I had long ago discovered that when a word or formula refused to come to mind, the best thing for it was to think of something else: tigers, for instance, or oatmeal. Then, when the fugitive word was least expecting it, I would suddenly turn the full blaze of my attention back onto it, catching the culprit in the beam of my mental torch before it could sneak off again into the darkness.

"Thought-stalking," I called the technique, and I was proud of myself for having invented it.

3.5 stars.



A Heart Like His: Making Space for God's Love in Your Life by Virginia H. Pearce

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Another thought-provoking book by Virginia Pearce.

My favorite thing is the idea that we don't have to find more time in our busy lives to reach out to others – we don't have to bake more (not that I would mind that) or make time for more visits. All we have to do is pay attention to the condition of our hearts and desire to have softer, more open hearts so that we can feel God's love in our own lives and then have more of that love to give away. Awareness is the key.

I've only been trying it for a short while, but I can already tell a difference.

Some favorite quotes:

"Opening one's heart creates energy. Closing one's heart depletes energy."

"When filled with God's love, we can do and see and understand things that we could not otherwise do or see or understand. Filled with His love, we can endure pain, quell fear, forgive freely, avoid contention, renew strength, and bless and help others in ways surprising even to us." – John H. Groberg

"We cannot help others feel God's love when we are: irritated, critical, discouraged, annoyed, self-absorbed, angry, indignant, or filled with self-pity, hostility, or bitterness."

"When we experience God's love, we feel: acknowledged, accepted, validated, noticed, cared for, supported, encouraged, uplifted, motivated, inspired, comforted, healed, nourished, nurtured, changed, more confident, more able – precisely the ways we want others to feel when they are with us!"

"It is very often in the act of reporting that the Holy Ghost chooses to witness and confirm the actions. And ultimately, it is the confirmation of the Spirit that provides the best motivation to keep doing good things."



The Whistling Season by Ivan Doig

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I might even give it 4.5 stars, if I could.

I loved the writing. I read on the cover that Doig won a Wallace Stegner aware, and his writing does remind me of Stegner's (which I also love). It is very character-driven, so if you are a plot reader, you may not enjoy it as much. This is definitely a slice of life, beautifully rendered.

That said, I loved the characters. I especially loved Paul and Morrie, but I also adored Oliver and Rose and all the rest.

After reading this book, I feel like I understand so much more about the old one-room schools. It's so interesting the way that the material taught to one grade impacted the other grades as well. (And I had never imagined those young children riding to school on horseback!) Paul's love of and defense of the one-room schools was so endearing - his education and success came as a result of that training, not in spite of it.

I didn't come away from this book wanting to learn Latin, but rather just feeling thrilled that Paul found something that ignited his passion for learning and excited his curiosity so much. You just never know what provide that kind of spark.



A Girl Named Zippy by Haven Kimmel

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

4.5 stars.

This book is a rarity – a memoir of a happy childhood! Zippy is hilarious, a curious, scrappy girl trying to make sense of her idiosyncratic family, her friends, and the small town in which they reside. Great small-town characters, as you would expect.

I breezed through this in one day, laughing all the while. It's been a long time since I read a book that was this purely enjoyable. I loved Zippy, her family, and her town. Her parents are a little gruff on the outside and tender on the inside. I found the ending particularly sweet.

A favorite passage:

"We played Ping-Pong for a little while, but it didn't go well. I was completely unskilled and Dana played so hard her shots often went right off the table, and so I spent a fair amount of time searching the corners of the barn. (I later discovered that in order to be a good athlete one must care intensely what is happening with a ball, even if one doesn't have possession of it. This was ultimately my failure: my inability to work up a passion for the location of balls.)"

Ah, a kindred spirit (at least athletically speaking).



The Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulane by Kate DiCamillo

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Eva and I both thoroughly enjoyed this endearing story of a vain, china rabbit who becomes lost and then found several times and learns the meaning of love along the way. Wonderful illustrations, as well.

When we finished it, Eva sighed and said, "The stories I read with you are the best stories." I can't think of a better endorsement than that.




Garden Spells by Sarah Addison Allen

My rating: 3 of 5 stars

Maybe 3.5 stars.

This is a light, fun, quick read about a family in a small town in North Carolina where the women have magical gifts. They also have a fabulous garden with an apple tree that throws its apples at people, trying to entice them to eat. If they do, they will dream about the biggest event in their lives (which, for some, is their death).

The characters are on the one-dimensional side, yet still likable and fairly believable. Claire is a caterer who uses herbs and flowers from her garden to help people feel what they want to (or she wants them to) feel. Sydney returns home to escape an abusive marriage and provide her daughter with the safety and security of the family home. Evanelle is their aunt who is compelled to give people gifts, which eventually come in handy in their lives. Bay is a little girl who instinctively knows where things (and people) belong. A quirky family finding love and happiness together.

View all my reviews

weekending

We woke up to snow on Sunday and it snowed the whole time we were in church. Eva went right out to make a snowman after we got home. (On Monday it got sunny and the snowman started to melt. She said he was fainting.)

Michelle and her girls came to spend the night on Sunday since Monday was a school holiday. We made pizzas and played games. I had a batch of sugar cookie dough in the fridge, and the girls were eager bakers.

They let Eva help, too. Making rolled cookies is one of her favorite things in life, and it's a project that I don't tackle all that often. It cracked me up that they made stars, dinosaurs, elephants, crocodiles, feet, dogs, fleur de lys... you don't have to stick to a theme when you make them just because!

Marc and Max had an impromptu duet session on Sunday night (their first). It was fun to see them get so excited about a piece of music that they had to try it right away, sight reading on both counts.

Michelle brought two new word games to try, Zip It and Appletters. Max kicked butt at Zip It and is currently undefeated. (Lucas has sworn never to play with him again.) Appletters is a game for many players, and even Eva played with a little help.

I was somewhat limited by these letters. (Aren't these tiles pleasing? I love the red, and I love the way they feel.)

We had leftover frosting from our cookies, so I made graham cracker cookies. I'm not sure, but I might love these even more than sugar cookies...

The Denneys went home in the afternoon, but we continued celebrating and had take-out for dinner and more games for family night! A long weekend of fun was just what I needed.

one little word

Last year, my word for the year was plan. I may have made some progress, but I'm not sure I did a whole lot with it. That may or may not have something to do with the fact that I wanted to change my word about 2 months into the year to order, but Marc had given me a plan necklace, so I felt like I should stick with it.

So I kind of assumed that order would be my word for 2011. But then, towards the end of 2010, I started thinking a lot about the word remember. I have such a terrible memory, and so many things I want to remember.

Again, I thought I had my 2011 word nailed down, but then a lot of things kept coming up that had to do with hope. Quotes that were resonating with me. I even noticed a string of my own Sunday thoughts were centered on hope. I do have hope in the big picture. I know that things are going to turn out okay. But sometimes I forget to feel hopeful in the short run, in the everyday chaos of my life. I started to feel really good about hope, to think that this word and I might need to become more familiar with each other. I think that focusing on hope in my daily life will lead me to be less negative, and ultimately happier.

Then one evening, I was talking to Jill on the phone. She asked if I had chosen my word for the year yet. I told her that I was 95% sure it was going to be hope. Shortly after that, I told her that I had ordered my necklace and was waiting for it to arrive. She burst out laughing. Then, and only then did I realize that apparently I had already chosen my word.

Gosh, do you think I should have gone with remember?? Good. grief.


hope

1. the feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best
2. grounds for this feeling in a particular instance
3. a person or thing in which expectations are centered
4. to look forward to with desire and reasonable confidence
5. to believe, desire, or trust


"The very least you can do in your life is figure out what you hope for. And the most you can do is live inside that hope. Not admire it from a distance, but live right in it, under its roof."— Barbara Kingsolver

Sunday thoughts

More notes from Time Out For Women, this time from a talk called Secrets of Motherhood, by Linda and Shawni Eyre:

Asked by one of their children: "Sometimes is motherhood so hard that you wish you were a dad?" (Ha! It is so hard, but I don't wish I were a dad.) Linda said that motherhood is like being pecked to death by a duck.

Anyway. Here are some of their secrets.

1. Be your own kind of best mom.

We have to figure out our own talents and abilities. We were given the children that we have for a specific reason. Other children are not like ours, and we are not like other mothers, either. None is better than another, we just need to capitalize on what we do best.

At a gathering where a man was bragging about his children's many accomplishments, one older gentleman who was not given to many words stood and said, "God must not have thought much of you as a parent, sending you all those easy kids!" (Ha! again.)

2. Have an infrastructure

They recommend developing a family mission statement. It could be as simple as one word, or a paragraph. Involve the whole family if possible. It unifies us and makes us feel like we're part of something bigger than ourselves.

Examples: Broaden & Contribute

Learn
Work
Serve
Respect

Family dinners, family prayers, family home evenings, and family meetings are all part of a family infrastructure where each member is a valued part of a whole.

3. Give ownership

Give children ownership of their goals, arguments, etc.

Ask your children what decisions they can make in advance that can positively impact their lives. Have them write them down and sign their names.

Set family goals together.

Invite children to set their own goals. Examples from their family: get only 3 cavities, be 15% nicer (!)

They had a "repentance bench" where arguing siblings would have to sit together until they could figure out what they personally had done wrong, tell their parents what they had done wrong, and apologize to each other. It was the single most coveted item when the parents sold their house.

4. Formalize family traditions

Whatever traditions you have or would like to have, formalize them. Write them down. Make sure you always do them. These often create the fondest memories in the home.

5. Teach kids to work

They recommend the book The Parenting Breakthrough.

Shawni decided to make certificates, so that when a child became a "certified toilet cleaner,"etc., he or she would be qualified to train a younger sibling.

Don't assume that your children know what their jobs are, even if you have told them a million times.

Print them out.
Have patience.
Be persistent.


Remember that we are all in the trenches. No matter how difficult our trenches are, they are customized trenches for us.

We will all develop our own parenting secrets as we listen to our children, know their needs, and become our own best kind of moms.

Watch out for those magical everyday moments.

"I wish I had treasured the doing a little more, and the getting it done a little less." (This should probably be my parenting mantra.)

Recommended websites:

valuesparenting.com
powerofmoms.com
71toes.blogspot.com

one little word 2010

In 2009, I chose to focus on the word progress:

"I think it will be good for me to focus on making progress. I still have a lot of areas I'd like to improve in, but I want to be able to applaud myself for every little movement I make in the right direction. I want to be pleased with what I accomplish, rather than upset with all that I have not yet accomplished. I want to learn to accept myself where I am, right now, be gentle with my efforts to improve, and appreciative of any and all growth. For a perfectionist like me, I think it will prove to be a real challenge."

Looking back, I wonder if this choice of word was a bit of a cop-out. Maybe I was disillusioned with my ability to fully embrace free (for 2 years!). I think maybe I was just overwhelmed and feeling the need to be kind to myself.

I find myself wondering if I never really got to the point of accepting "progress, not perfection", because now I am back to desiring real change. Actually, I think I did a great job at the acceptance part -- perhaps not as well as I could have at the progressing part. In any case, I still feel that progress was what I needed at the time. But now, I need something different.

After considering several words for the past week or so, I have narrowed my selection to:

PLAN

I had a bit of an epiphany when I realized that, for all of the things that I really want to accomplish this year, probably the biggest roadblock I would face would be a lack of planning. Could it really be that simple? That by having more frequent meetings with myself, as Jill says, I could put into action so many of the things that I want to have happen in my life? I think it could. In fact, I'm feeling really optimistic.

I did a quick search for some quotes, and now I am feeling even better about my choice:

Plan your work for today and every day, then work your plan. -- Norman Vincent Peale

Setting a goal is not the main thing. It is deciding how you will go about achieving it and staying with that plan. -- Tom Landry

It takes as much energy to wish as it does to plan. -- Eleanor Roosevelt

If you don't design your own life plan, chances are you'll fall into someone else's plan. And guess what they have planned for you? Not much. -- Jim Rohn

A good plan today is better than a perfect plan tomorrow. -- George S. Patton

Reduce your plan to writing. The moment you complete this, you will have definitely given concrete form to the intangible desire. -- Napoleon Hill

If you fail to plan, plan to fail. (unknown)

The Eleanor Roosevelt one is really resonating with me.

So if you're like me, and you are wondering how you can get more out of the experience of having a word for the year, here are some ideas:

1. Every time you make a list, write your word at the top of it, so it is always in front of you. I saw this in a comment on Ali Edwards' blog, and loved it. The act of repeatedly writing my word will, I think, keep it from becoming just another sign on the fridge that I don't see anymore. Heaven knows I make a lot of lists, so this may just be genius.

2. Make a wordle with quotes about your word or just your feelings about it. It's easy and fun!

3. Download this worksheet. Then fill it out! I'm planning to do this, I see it as a fleshing-out of my intentions and plans for the year.

Here's to a year of positive change in 2010!!

Friday flânerie

Last Friday, Marc was sick, so I took Eva and Lucas out to the park. On Saturday, he was feeling a little better, so I got to have my Friday flânerie a day late!

I went to the Marais yet again, as I wanted to revisit a silver shop I saw on my first Friday outing. They have used silver cutlery, trays, pitchers, and anything else you can imagine, provided that money is no object. But they also have bracelets in the window made from flattened silver forks and spoons, and these are surprisingly inexpensive.

I was all set to buy one when I first saw them, but the woman working there persuaded me to come back again sometime, as she was expecting a delivery of better ones. I can't say as I could tell much of a difference, so I just went ahead and purchased one! I'm thinking of getting it engraved with my initials sometime.

I saw this display in a window. It didn't seem to be a store, I have no idea what it was. I didn't even notice that the word was in English until I got home and looked at my photos!

I walked by this florist shop again. I think they scatter rose petals on the ground on purpose, for effect. It works, I think it's charming.

And I found this colorful set so pleasing, particularly on a fairly grey day.

I happened to walk by a chocolate shop (Cacao et Chocolat) that had several different varieties of chocolate eclairs in their window. I had never heard of any of them, and I was hungry, so I had to stop. This is the chocolate/coconut, and it was superb. In addition to the coconut on top, the chocolate custard had bits of coconut throughout, and it was served perfectly chilled. (I can't get enough of French coconut, it has much smaller flakes that are crunchy and it is less sweet.)

I searched out a tea shop that I had heard about. They had a great selection of amazing-smelling teas, but I was told that they don't do herbal teas at all, so I had to leave empty-handed. One of the employees gave me a tip on a store that does only herbal teas at Palais Royal, so I went to check it out.

Unfortunately, the cool courtyard at Palais Royal is currently under construction and is all walled off. (The walls have tinted windows you can look through.)

Fortunately, there is still a lot of interest at Palais Royal, even without its signature black and white striped columns.

Palais Royal self-portrait

view from within one of the arcades

Sadly, I couldn't find the herbal tea shop anywhere in the arcades.

Happily, the rain stopped after I got to P.R., so I sat on one of the benches to read for awhile.

Yes! I'm doing it! I'm finally reading A Tale of Two Cities! I tried reading it during another of our Paris stays and I just couldn't get into it. All this time, I've felt like some kind of reading fraud since I didn't like Dickens. Well, that is all changing now.

An upscale vintage clothing shop in the arcades. As in, vintage haute couture. Always some pleasing window-shopping to do here!

As I left Palais Royal, I saw this small orchestra playing. They were really good, and they were drawing quite a crowd. (3 cellists. I find I'm always making a mental tally of cellists to tell Max.)

I can no longer remember what the S.R. stands for on this church, but I was intrigued by the big shell in the architecture.

I knew Eva would get a kick out of this window display. She loves dogs almost as much as she loves dinosaurs. I was kicking myself, because I saw a dog staring in at the toy dogs, but then it moved away and I missed the shot.

I was near the Colette store, so I decided to stop in for a quick look at the trends. (For the uninitiated, it's a multi-floor store that purports to have everything that is cool -- books, jewelry, clothing, music, makeup, you name it.) It was so crowded, you had to push your way through to see anything at all. I did a quick drive-by on all the floors, and then I couldn't get out quickly enough. I think it's safe to say that I'm not cool, young, or hip enough for Colette!

So I did what any self-respecting person in that situation would do. I went to the Michel Cluizel boutique and bought some truffles (which I later shared with Max and Marc).

These drums of roasting chestnuts spring up all around the city during the Fall and Winter. I find them charming and I want to like them, but I just can't stand the smell. (And chestnuts are kind of mealy, you know?)

The sun going down on the Louvre and neighborhood.

The end.

Well, not quite the end. I went home and bought Grecs and fries for dinner.

gallery of horrors

On Thursday, I offered to take the kids to the paleontology gallery of the natural history museum. (The natural history museum here is marvelous, but Eva was really only interested in the dinosaurs. They have separate buildings for paleontology and minerology.)

Apparently, last week was a school vacation, and everyone must have had the same idea. We had to wait in line for an hour and a half just to get into the building! Normally when we go to the Jardin des Plantes, we hardly even see any other people.

Max and Lucas wandered the gardens and took pictures while I waited in line with Eva. By the time we got in to the register, the museum was going to be closing in 45 minutes, so they didn't charge us admission (a bright spot in the day).

I love the attention to detail in these old museums. Even the stairs are interesting!

Eva was terribly excited that they had skeletons of dinosaurs we had never heard of, which is really something considering the number of dinosaur books we have read.

The boys and I were fascinated by the work in progress. They taped off a little section of the floor so they could continue assembly of a new skeleton.


Lucas photographing a creature "who forgot to brush his teeth."

One floor is devoted to Darwin's comparative anatomy. This is the true gallery of horrors section, containing creepiness in many forms, including a giant wall of jarred specimens in formaldehyde. (I tried to quickly steer Eva past the worst of it.)

The looks on their faces says so much. (Although Lucas is photographing whatever inspired those expressions of disgusted fascination.)

Of course I loved all of these old, hand-lettered signs. This one cracked me up, as it ends in a question mark. Apparently they're not quite sure what it is -- it might be a two-horned rhinoceros head -- but they just thought it was cool anyway?


Hard to believe, but this was the least creepy of the jarred specimens. Take my word for it. If you even knew, you'd thank me for my discretion.

It was an appropriate outing so close to Halloween...