one little word

Ali Edwards had a post on her blog about choosing a word to focus on in the new year:

"A single word can be a powerful thing. It can be the ripple in the pond that changes everything. It can be sharp and biting or rich and soft and slow.

"Today I want to introduce you to the idea that a single word can be a catalyst for enriching your life... Last year I began a tradition of choosing one word for myself each January - a word that I can focus on, meditate on, and reflect upon as I go about my daily life - something I wanted to bring into my life in a more tangible way.

"Can you identify a single word that sums up what you want for yourself in 2007?"

I thought it was an intriguing challenge, and I have been thinking about it for a week or so. Words kept coming to mind, so I made a whole list of them, then I turned each one over in my mind to see how it fit with what I want to have happen this year.

This morning I finally decided what my word will be:

free

and here are some ways I would like to manifest it in my life during the upcoming year...

free of negative self-talk
free of stuff I don't need or use
free of clutter
free of anger and resentment
free of unrealistic expectations
free of excess weight
free of unnecessary stress
free of my tendencies to hold on to everything
free of the constraints I put on myself

I was talking to Marc some time ago about how much I wanted to lose weight this year and how much I want to get our house organized and get clutter under control. He came back to me later and said that he thought the two goals might be more intertwined than I thought. He speculated that working on purging my surroundings of unnecessary stuff might just reinforce my efforts at losing weight, and vice versa. Interesting food for thought. It sounds a little new-agey, but who knows? There might be something to it.

In any case, I am going to focus my energies on doing whatever I can to help myself to feel free.

When we come to it
We must confess that we are the possible...
We are the miraculous, the true wonders of this world
Free to choose our ends, and our new beginnings
That is when, and only when...
We come to it

Maya Angelou, from her poem, 'A Brave And Startling Truth'

one fine day

Yesterday was a great one. Jill came over for a Creative Friday and I actually made something that I like! I had a couple of weeks where I was writing out thank you cards, and then last week I made a book but I ended up hating it. I feared I had lost my touch, but then redemption came in the form of a new book I am making. Woohoo, I haven't totally lost it! That was close. Funny how good it makes me feel to make something with my hands, especially when it turns out to be something that I like.

Last night Marc's sister Michelle came down from Salt Lake to babysit! Yes, you heard me right, she came to Orem from SLC just to stay with our kids while Marc and I went on a date. And it's not the first time she's done it, either! I'm not sure what she gets out of this deal, but it sure was great for us! The kids had a great time and so did we. Michelle took all the kids and the dog over to the school to play. Apparently the sprinklers had flooded the lawn and bike path and they all took turns riding the scooter and running through the water. Needless to say, a great time was had by all.

Marc and I went to Jordan Commons to see Little Miss Sunshine. First, a word about this theater. What in the world? It reminded me of Main Street on Disneyland. Jill compares it to Las Vegas. Any way you look at it, it's a little theme park-esque. Many restaurants, little courtyards for eating, a video arcade, flags and banners, etc. Pretty funny. But it worked out well for us, because you can buy dinner at one of the restaurants and then take it in on a tray into the theater! Dinner and a movie, all at once. We hadn't had a chance to eat and we were starving, so it was a pretty good deal. I did end up spilling the contents of my burrito all over my shirt, however.

I can't recommend Little Miss Sunshine unequivocally, since it's rated R for language. But I can say that it's the funniest movie I have seen in a very, very long time. I was laughing practically throughout the whole thing, quite unusual for me. It was cleverly written and had a whole slew of hilarious characters. I read this description of it online: Little Miss Sunshine tells the story of the Hoovers, one of the most endearingly fractured families ever seen on motion picture screens. That's it, exactly. One of my favorite things was the teenage boy who has taken a vow of silence. He takes Nietzche's Thus Spake Zarathustra with him everywhere he goes. There is also a children's beauty pageant (called Little Miss Sunshine) that is absolutely terrifying. I'm not really a Steve Carell fan, but he was hysterical in this film. All this, and it's a real heartwarmer, to boot! It was a great date.

I did have to mention one of the pre-movie ads, for something called Zoo Rendezvous at the Hogle Zoo. From what I gathered, it's sort of like The Taste of Seattle (I'm sure most cities have their versions), where many local restaurants set up booths and you can have a small taste of their offerings. It's fun, it's tasty, and it's great advertising. Sounds good, right? But who in the world thought that an event involving eating should take place IN THE ZOO?!! Does anyone else see a problem with this?

Also, there was an ad for what I took to be an event location called Le Jardin. The problem was, all throughout the ad, the announcer kept woefully mispronouncing the name of the place. Butchering it, really. Worst of all, pronouncing the first word "lay". That's just plain wrong, folks! I can understand wanting the cachet of something French, but the least they can do is say it right! OK. Stepping off soap box now.

one little word

Last year, my word for the year was plan. I may have made some progress, but I'm not sure I did a whole lot with it. That may or may not have something to do with the fact that I wanted to change my word about 2 months into the year to order, but Marc had given me a plan necklace, so I felt like I should stick with it.

So I kind of assumed that order would be my word for 2011. But then, towards the end of 2010, I started thinking a lot about the word remember. I have such a terrible memory, and so many things I want to remember.

Again, I thought I had my 2011 word nailed down, but then a lot of things kept coming up that had to do with hope. Quotes that were resonating with me. I even noticed a string of my own Sunday thoughts were centered on hope. I do have hope in the big picture. I know that things are going to turn out okay. But sometimes I forget to feel hopeful in the short run, in the everyday chaos of my life. I started to feel really good about hope, to think that this word and I might need to become more familiar with each other. I think that focusing on hope in my daily life will lead me to be less negative, and ultimately happier.

Then one evening, I was talking to Jill on the phone. She asked if I had chosen my word for the year yet. I told her that I was 95% sure it was going to be hope. Shortly after that, I told her that I had ordered my necklace and was waiting for it to arrive. She burst out laughing. Then, and only then did I realize that apparently I had already chosen my word.

Gosh, do you think I should have gone with remember?? Good. grief.


hope

1. the feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best
2. grounds for this feeling in a particular instance
3. a person or thing in which expectations are centered
4. to look forward to with desire and reasonable confidence
5. to believe, desire, or trust


"The very least you can do in your life is figure out what you hope for. And the most you can do is live inside that hope. Not admire it from a distance, but live right in it, under its roof."— Barbara Kingsolver

one little word 2010

In 2009, I chose to focus on the word progress:

"I think it will be good for me to focus on making progress. I still have a lot of areas I'd like to improve in, but I want to be able to applaud myself for every little movement I make in the right direction. I want to be pleased with what I accomplish, rather than upset with all that I have not yet accomplished. I want to learn to accept myself where I am, right now, be gentle with my efforts to improve, and appreciative of any and all growth. For a perfectionist like me, I think it will prove to be a real challenge."

Looking back, I wonder if this choice of word was a bit of a cop-out. Maybe I was disillusioned with my ability to fully embrace free (for 2 years!). I think maybe I was just overwhelmed and feeling the need to be kind to myself.

I find myself wondering if I never really got to the point of accepting "progress, not perfection", because now I am back to desiring real change. Actually, I think I did a great job at the acceptance part -- perhaps not as well as I could have at the progressing part. In any case, I still feel that progress was what I needed at the time. But now, I need something different.

After considering several words for the past week or so, I have narrowed my selection to:

PLAN

I had a bit of an epiphany when I realized that, for all of the things that I really want to accomplish this year, probably the biggest roadblock I would face would be a lack of planning. Could it really be that simple? That by having more frequent meetings with myself, as Jill says, I could put into action so many of the things that I want to have happen in my life? I think it could. In fact, I'm feeling really optimistic.

I did a quick search for some quotes, and now I am feeling even better about my choice:

Plan your work for today and every day, then work your plan. -- Norman Vincent Peale

Setting a goal is not the main thing. It is deciding how you will go about achieving it and staying with that plan. -- Tom Landry

It takes as much energy to wish as it does to plan. -- Eleanor Roosevelt

If you don't design your own life plan, chances are you'll fall into someone else's plan. And guess what they have planned for you? Not much. -- Jim Rohn

A good plan today is better than a perfect plan tomorrow. -- George S. Patton

Reduce your plan to writing. The moment you complete this, you will have definitely given concrete form to the intangible desire. -- Napoleon Hill

If you fail to plan, plan to fail. (unknown)

The Eleanor Roosevelt one is really resonating with me.

So if you're like me, and you are wondering how you can get more out of the experience of having a word for the year, here are some ideas:

1. Every time you make a list, write your word at the top of it, so it is always in front of you. I saw this in a comment on Ali Edwards' blog, and loved it. The act of repeatedly writing my word will, I think, keep it from becoming just another sign on the fridge that I don't see anymore. Heaven knows I make a lot of lists, so this may just be genius.

2. Make a wordle with quotes about your word or just your feelings about it. It's easy and fun!

3. Download this worksheet. Then fill it out! I'm planning to do this, I see it as a fleshing-out of my intentions and plans for the year.

Here's to a year of positive change in 2010!!

spt -- new you

When I posted about my one little word last year, I never suspected that so many people would get on board!

I also never suspected that everyone would run with it and make so much more out of it than I did. I'm actually feeling pretty disappointed about how little progress I managed to make toward freeing myself in 2007. I expressed my disappointment to Jill, and she suggested I hold onto my word a little longer. Eureka! No one's forcing me to choose a new focus before I'm ready! {here's me, climbing out of my box}

So I'm doing it. I'm holding onto my little word free. And I've narrowed my focus even further. I really want to make progress in 2008 -- I'd like to become nearer to:

free of negative self-talk
free of stuff I don't need or use
free of excess weight
free of the constraints I put on myself

Here's hoping I can make more of it than I did in 2007. Now I just have to have that meeting with myself to figure out how I am going implement my goals!

p.s. My kingdom for a snowblower!

this time last week

My perennial favorite: German chocolate. (Marc is getting to be quite the expert!)

First of all, I just have to gripe a little bit about it taking me two days to put together a post about my birthday -- 1. because my life has been too hectic, and 2. because Blogger kept booting me off. argh. It just doesn't seem right that I finally got my computer back and then haven't had the chance to get caught up!

OK, on to the good stuff.

Marc stayed home on my birthday so I could have a break and do whatever I wanted. That was the best gift in itself! Jill and I went out to see Music & Lyrics (so cute) and had lunch at La Dolce Vita (so good). We also went clothes and shoe shopping. (Please remind me never to go try on clothes on my birthday again.) Always thoroughly enjoyable to have one of our girls' days out.

can you believe we had to school Marc in the necessity of a head-and-shoulders shot?!

For his other gift, Marc got me this excellent camera lens! I'm using it on his Canon 10D, which is now his backup camera. (He will need to use it for wedding shoots, which are pretty rare.) I haven't had too much time to play with it yet, but I'm very excited about experimenting with a digital SLR.

Marc's parents gave me all of these fun, springy, bird-themed items, plus gift cards to Borders & Pebbles in my Pocket!

The decadent triple chocolate cake that my sister-in-law Michelle brought to our family celebration. She also gave me a gift card to Old Navy. More shopping -- oh yeah!

My mom has such a way with beautiful, color-coordinated gift wrapping (not to mention generous gift-giving!).

The loot: orange tea towels, way cute fabric fat quarters, ribbon, white jewelry, the cutest hot pink shoes, new sunglasses, a box of labels, and $$ to buy some more new shoes. She knows me so well!

Woohoo! I got one of Jill's famous good mail kits! Two sets of her signature style cards, in mix-n-match blue and green goodness, tiny matching good mail labels (I had let slip that I didn't like to "waste" my good mail labels on cards), stamps, smooth-writing black pens, a printout of the blogger addresses, and Cadbury mini eggs -- all wrapped up in the cutest little green suitcase known to man. The combination of having all these cool items corralled in one place and having that place be so visually pleasing (the polka dots! come on...) -- well, you can see why I was excited about this gift!

Kristi sent me these adorable monogrammed napkins!!! She wrote in her card that she thinks of me when preparing dinner, so she sent me something to remind me of her at dinnertime as well. The monograms! The polka dot ribbons! And they match my black & white toile plates! I could not be more excited about these, Kristi!

Hooray! I got one of Amy M.'s framed quotes! The lighting here is terrible, you can't tell what a pretty green the background is. And I absolutely love the quote.

Amie took my birthday present to Jill before leaving for her California trip. That foresight and planning blew me away, as I seem to be always flying by the seat of my pants... Love the toile notecards and pad, and I can't even express how yummy these sage/citrus melts are -- I've been burning them every day since! (Amie, I hope you know I was planning to pay you for these when I put in my order!)

Jenn completely surprised me by giving this set of alphabet stamps that I have been pining after for quite some time. (for unknown reasons, I am unable to flip the photo!) When I unwrapped it, I actually said, "oh no she didn't!". But being Jenn, she actually did.

Jessie tracked down this photo corner punch that I have been coveting for about a year now, as well as the Bookworks word stickers that we have both been hunting for everywhere. What a treat!

A horrible photo of the handyman day that Timm gave me! Now I have to start making a list of projects he could work on... oh the joy.

Jana brought by this cool box of stackable trays. Will I ever tire of the simple appeal of label plates? I think not.

My visiting teachers remembered that almond croissants are my favorite! Soon I'll be able to have one of these every day if I want to. Oh dear...

Kelly sent me the tiniest hand mirror ever, with a reminder of my word of the year -- thanks, I needed that!

Melinda sent me this card with Roberts $$ inside (a great craft store for you non-locals). What a very pleasant surprise!

Amanda sent cute post-its, and a giant wooden clothespin that she covered in cute paper and embellishments. I've always wanted one of those!

Crystalyn sent me this pretty embellished "m" with a "free" reminder on it. I just love that several blogging friends have sent me tangible reminders of my little word for the year -- I keep meaning to making something for myself and never getting around to it.

Stefanie sent me these adorable labels: some with my address, some with good mail postmarks! Also the cutest little luggage tag -- why didn't I think of that? She's got skills.


Pam sent me another of her whimsical packages! Tea towels, Paper Source cards, bath goodies, scrumptious mint lip gloss, chocolate, Big Hunks, and Silly Putty! I'm convinced that she's much more fun and young at heart than I am. (Oh, and Lucas thinks the Silly Putty is the best thing ever.)

Carlo sent some recipes, an assortment of teas, and milk & dark chocolate.

If you actually made it to the end of this post, I'm sure you'll agree that I had a wonderful birthday! Time off from motherhood, great friends, wonderful family, spoiled all around. I also appreciated all the good wishes on my blog when I got my computer back! Thanks everyone for remembering me.

misc. updates

Yes, it's that time again -- time for miscellaneous updates! (cheers all around) I'm trying to follow Ali E.'s advice to tell just one story every day, but even with that most unintimidating of dictates, I am still falling short. (thus the misc. updates...)

On Saturday, we finally found the tile we're going to use in our kitchen! It's proven much more difficult than we anticipated to find what we wanted (black & caramel checkerboard), but when we re-visited a store I had already been to, a very helpful woman pointed us to some special-order options.

In the afternoon, we went to Marc's parents' condo in Salt Lake to celebrate his step-dad's 70th birthday. They always go all out for family dinners.

How could anyone resist fruits and vegetables so beautifully displayed?

Eva adores birthdays, even when they're not her own. This is just one of the many reasons she loves going to Grandma and Grandpa's:

I had a nice Mother's Day.

Marc made really really good belgian waffles, and brought me one in bed. (I've never really understood the so-called luxury of breakfast in bed -- it seems like just a more difficult way of eating your breakfast to me.)

The kids all made me cards. Max went all out, using punches, stamps, markers, torn notebook paper and graph paper, and even definitions taken from an old dictionary! Pretty cute.

Our ward even gave out these sophisticated little gifts to all the women. (two truffles inside) Good move on the chocolate. I think I can safely say that no one wants another single carnation. Am I right?

The kids semi-cooperated for some photos after church. I went down to my studio and sewed for awhile while Marc made me dinner! (pork tenderloin with mustard sauce, radicchio and endive with blue cheese and raspberry vinaigrette)

He even made this delicious lemon custard pie with a pâte sablée (cookie crust). Yum. He did the dishes and he put the kids to bed. This all had the pleasant dual effect of giving me a break and making me realize how much I usually do! Nice.

This was the view out our back door yesterday. It ended up being a delightfully rainy day, with two hailstorms thrown in for good measure. Eva couldn't remember the word "hail" for the life of her, and kept calling it "jail".

Amy H. tipped me off to this great old-fashioned general store in Lehi. Eva and I went to check it out on Monday and we both enjoyed it quite a bit. I liked the fabrics.

Eva liked the toys, the little girl she found to chat with, the bath bubble animals that remind her of the ones we got in Paris, and this display!

{Apparently from this moment on, I forgot to take any pictures.... argh.}

When the boys got home from school, I took all the kids in for their dental checkups. No cavities! I can't remember the last time I said that. Eva isn't too keen on sitting in the dentist's chair, even though it's kid-sized, but fortunately she has two big brothers to show her the way, and that makes everything a little easier.

Lucas gave our FHE lesson, which consisted of a re-telling of a story he'd read in The Friend and a role-playing game he made up to go with it. Surprisingly, Eva really enjoyed it (she usually struggles through FHE) and said she wanted to have "Family Home Meeting" for a long long time.

Today we went to the library and the mall. I made the amazing discovery that Eva loves shopping at the mall! (and she's only 3...) I usually avoid it because it seems like too much hassle, but she enjoyed herself immensely and didn't want to leave! Always surprising me. She was tickled by the escalators, the puzzles in the children's department of Macy's, and especially the fountain with coins in the bottom. I gave her some pennies to throw in, but she wasn't really getting the concept of making a wish. Can you even remember not knowing what it means to make a wish? Anyway, I enjoy my little errand buddy -- or "go-with guy", as Jessie says.

She actually took a nap today, after resisting for 3 days, and while she napped, I prepared some good mail and made a necessary run to the post office. Note to self: never ever arrive at the post office at 4:50 p.m. I couldn't use the self-serve machine and had to wait in line for 25 minutes!

Tonight was a nice relaxing one, complete with folding all the laundry and watching American Idol. And David Archuleta sang Billy Joel's "And So It Goes"! That's one of my all-time favorite songs -- sometimes Paula surprises me by making a really good call.

One final note: I think my kids are really enjoying our family dinners. They've quickly caught on to the fact that it's a perfect forum for everyone to have a chance to talk and be heard. They joke with each other. Everyone knows what's going on with everyone else. It's so much more than just the food.

books 2011 #26-31

A Red Herring Without Mustard by Alan Bradley

My rating: 3 of 5 stars

For some reason, I didn't love this one quite as much as the other Flavia books. It wasn't a page-turner for me in the same way.

But I still love Flavia, and I will still read any and all books Bradley writes about her.

I particularly loved the ending. Of course Father is proud of her!

A favorite passage:

I had long ago discovered that when a word or formula refused to come to mind, the best thing for it was to think of something else: tigers, for instance, or oatmeal. Then, when the fugitive word was least expecting it, I would suddenly turn the full blaze of my attention back onto it, catching the culprit in the beam of my mental torch before it could sneak off again into the darkness.

"Thought-stalking," I called the technique, and I was proud of myself for having invented it.

3.5 stars.



A Heart Like His: Making Space for God's Love in Your Life by Virginia H. Pearce

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Another thought-provoking book by Virginia Pearce.

My favorite thing is the idea that we don't have to find more time in our busy lives to reach out to others – we don't have to bake more (not that I would mind that) or make time for more visits. All we have to do is pay attention to the condition of our hearts and desire to have softer, more open hearts so that we can feel God's love in our own lives and then have more of that love to give away. Awareness is the key.

I've only been trying it for a short while, but I can already tell a difference.

Some favorite quotes:

"Opening one's heart creates energy. Closing one's heart depletes energy."

"When filled with God's love, we can do and see and understand things that we could not otherwise do or see or understand. Filled with His love, we can endure pain, quell fear, forgive freely, avoid contention, renew strength, and bless and help others in ways surprising even to us." – John H. Groberg

"We cannot help others feel God's love when we are: irritated, critical, discouraged, annoyed, self-absorbed, angry, indignant, or filled with self-pity, hostility, or bitterness."

"When we experience God's love, we feel: acknowledged, accepted, validated, noticed, cared for, supported, encouraged, uplifted, motivated, inspired, comforted, healed, nourished, nurtured, changed, more confident, more able – precisely the ways we want others to feel when they are with us!"

"It is very often in the act of reporting that the Holy Ghost chooses to witness and confirm the actions. And ultimately, it is the confirmation of the Spirit that provides the best motivation to keep doing good things."



The Whistling Season by Ivan Doig

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I might even give it 4.5 stars, if I could.

I loved the writing. I read on the cover that Doig won a Wallace Stegner aware, and his writing does remind me of Stegner's (which I also love). It is very character-driven, so if you are a plot reader, you may not enjoy it as much. This is definitely a slice of life, beautifully rendered.

That said, I loved the characters. I especially loved Paul and Morrie, but I also adored Oliver and Rose and all the rest.

After reading this book, I feel like I understand so much more about the old one-room schools. It's so interesting the way that the material taught to one grade impacted the other grades as well. (And I had never imagined those young children riding to school on horseback!) Paul's love of and defense of the one-room schools was so endearing - his education and success came as a result of that training, not in spite of it.

I didn't come away from this book wanting to learn Latin, but rather just feeling thrilled that Paul found something that ignited his passion for learning and excited his curiosity so much. You just never know what provide that kind of spark.



A Girl Named Zippy by Haven Kimmel

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

4.5 stars.

This book is a rarity – a memoir of a happy childhood! Zippy is hilarious, a curious, scrappy girl trying to make sense of her idiosyncratic family, her friends, and the small town in which they reside. Great small-town characters, as you would expect.

I breezed through this in one day, laughing all the while. It's been a long time since I read a book that was this purely enjoyable. I loved Zippy, her family, and her town. Her parents are a little gruff on the outside and tender on the inside. I found the ending particularly sweet.

A favorite passage:

"We played Ping-Pong for a little while, but it didn't go well. I was completely unskilled and Dana played so hard her shots often went right off the table, and so I spent a fair amount of time searching the corners of the barn. (I later discovered that in order to be a good athlete one must care intensely what is happening with a ball, even if one doesn't have possession of it. This was ultimately my failure: my inability to work up a passion for the location of balls.)"

Ah, a kindred spirit (at least athletically speaking).



The Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulane by Kate DiCamillo

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Eva and I both thoroughly enjoyed this endearing story of a vain, china rabbit who becomes lost and then found several times and learns the meaning of love along the way. Wonderful illustrations, as well.

When we finished it, Eva sighed and said, "The stories I read with you are the best stories." I can't think of a better endorsement than that.




Garden Spells by Sarah Addison Allen

My rating: 3 of 5 stars

Maybe 3.5 stars.

This is a light, fun, quick read about a family in a small town in North Carolina where the women have magical gifts. They also have a fabulous garden with an apple tree that throws its apples at people, trying to entice them to eat. If they do, they will dream about the biggest event in their lives (which, for some, is their death).

The characters are on the one-dimensional side, yet still likable and fairly believable. Claire is a caterer who uses herbs and flowers from her garden to help people feel what they want to (or she wants them to) feel. Sydney returns home to escape an abusive marriage and provide her daughter with the safety and security of the family home. Evanelle is their aunt who is compelled to give people gifts, which eventually come in handy in their lives. Bay is a little girl who instinctively knows where things (and people) belong. A quirky family finding love and happiness together.

View all my reviews

memory loss

{my ever-present grocery and to-do lists, without which I am hopeless}

OK, it's official: I have serious memory problems.

Some examples:

I read on Crystalyn's blog about being a happiness-maker. It really resonated with me, and I was inspired! I too wanted to be a happiness-maker! Fast forward to yesterday when I was reading her blog again and she happened to make a reference to being a happiness-maker. Oh, yeah! That happiness-maker thing! I loved that! Never mind I had completely forgotten all about it, even though I truly wanted to keep that in my mind and work on developing that in my life. sigh.

I cannot for the life of me remember the movies I have seen or the books I have read. And I love movies, and books (but especially books). You might see this as a boon, since I can easily re-watch and re-read things and it's almost as if it were the first time. I see it is a bane, since when asked what I thought of a book that I read, say, 2 months ago, I am reduced to a blathering idiot, something along the lines of: "uh, yeah, I think I remember that I liked it". Not to mention all of the tremendously rich insights acquired through all my reading, just imagine how wise I would be if I could retain those... which brings me to one of my favorite quotes:

"If I had a memory for all that I've read, I'd be dangerous." -- Georgia (Jenn's mom)

I want to be dangerous!

Remember my post about my one word for 2007, how I ruminated over different words for a week until I found the one word that could sum up what I want to accomplish this year, the one word that I can use as my mantra, my inspiration? Well, as I've been reading other people's posts about the word they have chosen, I have found myself thinking, "well, what a great idea! I kind of forgot about how I was doing that too..." It doesn't really do me any good if I can't even remember to focus on it, now does it?? Evidently, I need to make myself a sign of some sort to remind me of my word (free). Or perhaps many signs.

My aunt Denise asked me a few months ago to take some pictures of Eva's crib bedding and email them to her, as she wanted some reference photos in case she ever needs to make bumper pads (for pay). A few days after that, I went in and took said photos. I even loaded them on to my computer and converted them to web-quality. But have I ever actually gotten around to firing off that email? No. I'm embarrassed to even think about how many weeks in a row I had this item on my to-do list. I finally got so sick of seeing it on my to-do list that I left it off, thinking that I would just do it already so it could quit weighing on me that I am so lame. Well, you can see where I'm going with this... as soon as it was off my to-do list, I completely forgot about it. (So... maybe I have problems with prioritizing as well as memory loss.)

It is truly embarrassing the number of times I have gone to cub scouts and then had to run back home to get something I forgot. One time I even forgot Max! (don't ask) I couldn't even begin to count the times someone has called to ask me about something I was supposed to do, only for me to realize it had fled my mind.

This is a dangerous problem. It has frightening possibilities for me being a flake, something I really and truly do not want to be. What to do? I can't very well make myself signs about every little thing that I need to remember. If I did, my home would be completely overrun with clutter (not that we're not verging on that already). Do I need memory-sharpening tools? What would those be? Help!

Oh, and Denise: in case you happen to still want those photos, I am going to send them to you. Right now, before I forget.

one little word

After two years of focusing on the word free, I found I was having a hard time letting go.

I've been working on being:

free of negative self-talk
free of stuff I don't need or use
free of excess weight
free of the constraints I put on myself

After two years of free-thinking, I have managed to get rid of a LOT of stuff that I don't need or use. I've even managed to change my thinking about stuff quite a bit -- I don't want as much as I used to, I don't want to have to take care of and organize that much stuff. Throwing things out and giving things away has had a very freeing effect.

As far as negative self-talk and constraints I put on myself.... I think I have made some progress. I could certainly do more in that department.

As for excess weight... sigh. I'm no better off there than I was when I started.

In truth, I could see myself sticking with that word forever... or at least a good long time, but I felt like maybe I was losing focus. The cute green polka-dot Free sign on my fridge was starting to be just another part of my landscape, rather than a motivational dictum.

So I started trying on different words. At first, I thought about choosing something that comes a little more easily to me... say, calm. But even though I do work at being calm, I knew that wouldn't really be a stretch. Then, I tried some other words, but they all ended up just being synonymous with free.

Finally, I found it:

prog⋅ress

  –noun

1.	a movement toward a goal or to a further or higher stage

2.	advancement in general.

3.	growth or development; continuous improvement

4.	the development of an individual or society in a direction considered more beneficial than and superior to the previous level.

5.	forward or onward movement

–verb

6.	to go forward or onward in space or time

7.	to grow or develop

I think it will be good for me to focus on making progress. I still have a lot of areas I'd like to improve in, but I want to be able to applaud myself for every little movement I make in the right direction. I want to be pleased with what I accomplish, rather than upset with all that I have not yet accomplished. I want to learn to accept myself where I am, right now, be gentle with my efforts to improve, and appreciative of any and all growth.

For a perfectionist like me, I think it will prove to be a real challenge.

relaxed day

Today was a very relaxed, largely stay-at-home day. (Max has had a cold and a slight fever and hasn't felt like going out for a couple of days.) I guess I really needed one of those, because it felt luxurious!

For the first time since our first couple of jet-lagged days, I didn't get ready this morning. I cleaned the kitchen,

(Max took this one! I think he's catching the documentation bug.)

talked to Jill on the phone for awhile, cleaned the bathrooms, did some laundry -- which seems to take forever! Many of the wash cycles last 1 1/2 - 2 hours, and I have still had some clothes ruined because stains didn't come out...


I often have to run the dryer 2 or 3 times to get the clothes dry enough to put away. I also hang-dry most of the clothes to prevent shrinkage. (Interesting side note: the dryers here do not have drain hook-ups. You can plug them into almost any outlet. There is a reservoir for the water which you must empty after every load.)

Eva's all ready to go with her purse and her map.

Eva and I went to the post office. Bought stamps, used up a lot of dumb little coins I had floating around, mailed some postcards.


Then we got a few groceries. Emphasis on the word "few", since I could only buy what I could carry home while pushing the stroller. This is my eco-friendly shopping bag:


In addition to the baguettes peeking out, I bought 4 big bottles of lemon-flavored water, a 6-pack of Diet Coke, butter, 2 packages of Kinder Surprise eggs for the kids, a package of gaufres liegeoises (photo forthcoming for you, Anne), creme fraiche, mache (my favorite salad green here -- think it might be called lamb's lettuce in English?) and two different kinds of light bulbs (all of our lights seem to be burning out, they use many different types of bulbs, and since the ceilings are so high, I can't reach to replace them -- even on a chair!).

After lunch, Eva had a nap, and I finally took a shower. I had plans to read and maybe nap myself, but Lucas was bored with his constant companion Max out of commission, so instead we read a chapter of Harry Potter (3), and watched the movie up to where we are in the book, a favorite Lucas pasttime.

When Eva woke up, she wanted to go for another walk, and Lucas also had a little bit of cabin fever (!). So we decided to go check out one of the bakeries that I read about in my chocolate book and also happens to be within walking distance of our apartment. I bought the last two of the highly-recommended chocolate eclairs. (Drat! Forgot to take a photo!) Max really enjoyed it, I was less enthusiastic, Marc said he was not into it at all. Check that one off the list!

I made banana chocolate-chip muffins for the kids. They were thrilled to have a little taste of home. Then I made a lentil salad for dinner. It sounded so good, but it ended up being way too salty. (When will I ever learn to taste things as I cook?)

Put the kids to bed, a little blogging, and now off to ice my knee. That's all folks!

**DANG! It's driving me crazy that I don't know how to type accents!!! Next on my to-do list...**