progress

And now, a little progress report.

See, normally I would be bemoaning the fact that I haven't made more progress in 2009. But I'm trying to be kinder to myself. I'm giving myself a break and remembering that I was sick for two weeks and I've had sick kids. In short, I'm celebrating every little bit of progress.

I have cut down on my candy consumption. That's progress.

I started exercising again after almost two months off. And after seeing Kristi's post from the gym where her bike was telling her to pedal faster, I did. I upped my workout difficulty and duration and have been doing it for three weeks now. That's progress.

I've been better about washing my face at night. That's progress.

I had a cleaning epiphany: I discovered by chance that it only took 10 minutes to do my dreaded task of mopping. 10 minutes! (Not a thorough mopping like Emily's where she wiped down all the cupboards, but still...) I can do anything for 10 minutes. I should be mopping a lot more frequently now. That's progress.

I painted the inside of the front door and the door trim. I also painted the shelves for our interminable bookcase project, which brings it nearer to completion. That's progress.

I've been reading my scriptures absolutely every night. That's progress.

Here's to more. And more...

Sunday thoughts

We had our ward conference on Sunday, and the leaders all spoke on our stake theme for 2009, preparation.

(I was actually able to take notes, hooray! and although I didn't post these thoughts on Sunday, I still want to have a record of them.)

• We need to make ourselves ready for that which the Lord has made ready for us.

• If we follow our prophet, he will lead us to safety and happiness.

• We must prepare our children, so that when they leave the safety of home, they will be able to succeed and ready to receive the blessings prepared for them.

• Opportunities to serve others are limitless, but they are perishable. We must prepare ourselves to take the opportunities presented to us.

• Provident living will help us to be better servants of the Lord.

• Part of being prepared is taking good care of our physical health. (I had never thought of it that way.)
  

• It's not all about you. We can do so much more together than we can do individually.

• We will undoubtedly be faced with things in life that will find us unprepared, sometimes despite our best efforts. Can we ever truly be prepared for receiving our temple endowment, becoming parents, or receiving certain callings? What do we do in that case? We do the best we can. The Lord will help us and make up the difference. No matter the situation, with the Lord's help, we will be equal to our task.
  

"Our present day is filled with global distress over financial crises, energy problems, terrorist attacks, and natural calamities. These translate into individual and family concerns not only about homes in which to live and food available to eat but also about the ultimate safety and well-being of our children and the latter-day prophecies about our planet. More serious than these--and sometimes related to them--are matters of ethical, moral, and spiritual decay...
"I ask everyone within the sound of my voice to take heart, be filled with faith, and remember the Lord has said He 'would fight [our] battles, [our] children's battles, and [the battles of our] children's children.' ... The latter days are not a time to fear and tremble. They are a time to be believing and remember our covenants."
(Jeffrey R. Holland, Ensign, November 2008)

"We live in a changing world. Technology has altered nearly every aspect of our lives. We must cope with these advances--even these cataclysmic changes--in a world of which our forebears never dreamed.
"Remember the promise of the Lord: 'If ye are prepared ye shall not fear.' Fear is a deadly enemy of progress.
"It is necessary to prepare and to plan so that we don't fritter away our lives. Without a goal, there can be no real success. One of the best definitions of success I have ever heard goes something like this: success is the progressive realization of a worthy ideal."
(President Thomas S. Monson, Ensign, April 2008)

"The great test of life is to see whether we will hearken to and obey God's commands in the midst of the storms of life.
"Most of us have thought about how to prepare for storms... But there is another even more important preparation we must make for tests that are certain to come to each of us. That preparation must be started far in advance because it takes time. What we will need then can't be bought. It can't be borrowed. It doesn't store well. And it has to have been used regularly and recently.
"What we will need in our day of testing is a spiritual preparation. It is to have developed faith in Jesus Christ so powerful that we can pass the test of life upon which everything for us in eternity depends. That test is part of the purpose God had for us in the Creation."
(Henry B. Eyring, Ensign, November 2005)

I love these words from our latter-day prophets and apostles. I was particularly struck by the admonition to not fritter away our lives, the need to develop a powerful faith in the Savior, and fear being a deadly enemy of progress -- all things I will try to keep in mind as I work on my own progress this year.

one little word

After two years of focusing on the word free, I found I was having a hard time letting go.

I've been working on being:

free of negative self-talk
free of stuff I don't need or use
free of excess weight
free of the constraints I put on myself

After two years of free-thinking, I have managed to get rid of a LOT of stuff that I don't need or use. I've even managed to change my thinking about stuff quite a bit -- I don't want as much as I used to, I don't want to have to take care of and organize that much stuff. Throwing things out and giving things away has had a very freeing effect.

As far as negative self-talk and constraints I put on myself.... I think I have made some progress. I could certainly do more in that department.

As for excess weight... sigh. I'm no better off there than I was when I started.

In truth, I could see myself sticking with that word forever... or at least a good long time, but I felt like maybe I was losing focus. The cute green polka-dot Free sign on my fridge was starting to be just another part of my landscape, rather than a motivational dictum.

So I started trying on different words. At first, I thought about choosing something that comes a little more easily to me... say, calm. But even though I do work at being calm, I knew that wouldn't really be a stretch. Then, I tried some other words, but they all ended up just being synonymous with free.

Finally, I found it:

prog⋅ress

  –noun

1.	a movement toward a goal or to a further or higher stage

2.	advancement in general.

3.	growth or development; continuous improvement

4.	the development of an individual or society in a direction considered more beneficial than and superior to the previous level.

5.	forward or onward movement

–verb

6.	to go forward or onward in space or time

7.	to grow or develop

I think it will be good for me to focus on making progress. I still have a lot of areas I'd like to improve in, but I want to be able to applaud myself for every little movement I make in the right direction. I want to be pleased with what I accomplish, rather than upset with all that I have not yet accomplished. I want to learn to accept myself where I am, right now, be gentle with my efforts to improve, and appreciative of any and all growth.

For a perfectionist like me, I think it will prove to be a real challenge.

Gratitude Week -- Sunday

{Rebecca has instituted Gratitude Week in blogland, and I think it's a simply brilliant idea.}

Today I am feeling grateful for progress.

Max had some friends over yesterday to practice their orchestra pieces. He has come a very long way in just over a year. Fortunately, the cello never really sounds bad, but I'm guessing that most parents of string players are highly appreciative of progress.

More garage work yesterday, and no, we are still not finished! How I wish I had taken a before picture and then one every Saturday. Big projects like this that stretch out for months are difficult for me. I have such a hard time seeing how much has already been accomplished -- it seems my focus is always on the work yet to be done.

Marc has been helping me along the way to feel good about how many carloads we've taken to D.I. and how much trash we've disposed of. I'm trying.

Here's some progress I can really feel good about! Marc recruited some strong neighbors and brought up the new bookshelf yesterday. No, we haven't found a great shelf solution yet. But we are one big step closer to liberating our books from their long storage! That brings a smile to my face.

I want to improve in my ability to see and appreciate progress. I feel sure that greater happiness lies therein. Better still, I'd like to be a better agent of progress. I'm grateful for a Heavenly Father and friends and family who love me despite the seeming lack of progress in my life. I'm working on it. And I'm so happy that I feel loved, despite my imperfections, despite the large amount of work yet to be done.