some sort of complex

{the face of introspection}

I had an embarrassing moment of self-discovery about a month ago.

Marc and I went to see Inception. We really enjoyed it. It's the kind of movie that you want to see again, knowing what you know at the end, to see how different it is the second time around.

Anyway. The ending is somewhat of a cliffhanger in that you are left not really knowing how it all pans out. The audience audibly showed their frustration at the very end.

And what was my reaction? I was mentally applauding them, thinking, "Go, Oremites! You got it!"

What the?! Why would I think that my fellow movie-goers would be any less capable of understanding the movie than Marc and myself?

This event plunged me into a bout of introspection. Do I think I'm more intelligent than the average joe? Do I have a superiority complex?

This is terrible.

(Not that I came to a conclusive answer, but it's terrible even to have to contemplate.)

. . .
fast forward
. . .

I feel down. I am beating myself up. About everything. I feel incapable of doing all that is required of me. I must be letting everyone down. What am I doing now that will put my kids in therapy later? (This is not an uncommon train of thought.)

So do I have an inferiority complex?

Can you simultaneously feel superior and inferior? Or alternate betwixt the two? Because it feels like I have some sort of complex.

unveiling...

Woman in Pearls.

In Jane's post about 200 things you have done or not done, #147 was: had your portrait painted.

I have.

About 15 years ago, we were living in Seattle and we had an artist friend. He wanted to work on portraiture and asked if I would pose for him. I obliged. I admit, I was curious to see what the artist would see in me.

When he gave me the portrait, I was somewhat perplexed. I just didn't see it. So Marc and I named it Woman in Pearls.

And guess what? When we were working on our gargantuan garage-cleaning project on Saturday, we found it.



So what do you think? Do you see me?

It's funny, now that I'm seeing it again after all these years, it's not as bad as I thought. I wish I had that nose, though.