miscellany

* I have just discovered this week that Eva gets really cranky when she's hungry. You might wonder why I am only just now figuring this out when she is quickly approaching her 5th birthday. All I can say is that she doesn't eat a lot. She is picky and quite often says she is not hungry. I am learning not to trust what she says in that regard. Several times she has been on the verge of a breakdown and then ate something and was instantly quite chipper. Perhaps she tends toward hypoglycemia like her dad?

* Max auditioned for the Utah Valley Youth Symphony on Tuesday. His cello teacher had warned him that he might be held back in the Sinfonia level (even though she feels he should advance) because the Youth Symphony already had 10 cellists. He was advanced to the next level!

* Lucas stayed home sick on Friday. You read that right. He couldn't even make it through the first week back at school without getting sick. And so it begins.

* After feeling really blah on Friday evening and Saturday, I got my period. Duh. I wonder if I'll figure out this body of mine before menopause hits and everything changes.

* I am still finding things in my house. When someone else lives in your house, they sometimes put things in different places. Just last night I found my 9x13 pan. I was convinced that it got thrown out or taken to someone who was sick or something. Nope, just under the stove!

* Today I finished putting away the Christmas decorations. Yes, that's right, I finished on January 12th. That's definitely a record late date for us, by at least a week. But I just didn't feel any pressure or stress about it, so I rolled with it.

* Even though I absolutely love cute aprons -- LOVE them! -- I hardly ever remember to put one on. What's up with that?

* Reading NieNie's blog makes me cry. Like, almost every time. Either tears of sadness and sympathy for all that pain and frustration, or tears of joy over all that beauty and love. You should know that I am not a crier, so it takes me surprise each and every time. She is having surgeries this week and her husband is blogging for her. Tears, still.

submerged

This is kind of how I've been feeling lately. Submerged.

Everything is muffled, somehow.

I blame hormones.

And anxiety. Well, maybe not quite anxiety, but I am feeling somewhat anxious about our return home. I wish we weren't getting home with only 18 days til Christmas. I wish all of our Christmas decorations were up, waiting for us. I wish I had more gifts ready, made and purchased.

The thought of going home, excavating Max and Lucas's room, unpacking everything, having a crazy excited dog and his accompanying hair everywhere, and having to get ready in a hurry for Christmas is overwhelming me.

That and having to re-integrate the boys to school and all of us to having a schedule and actually getting up and ready in the morning...

So, yeah. I've been blue. But my parents arrived on Saturday and I'm hoping that their presence will be enough to pull me out of it! At least until they leave.

hormones suck, reprise

So... for the last 2 or 3 months, I've been having what I've termed Post-MS -- depression after my period. (Which, let's not forget, is on a 3-week cycle.) It's a bummer, but I try to get a little perspective and remember that I will feel better after a few days. Eventually it passes, I like people again and I get my motivation back.

The problem is that right now I'm having a big case of the old, familiar PMS, which begs the question: am I going to have to suffer through the Post-MS as well?? Because one week of normalcy and productivity out of three is so not okay with me.

I've always enjoyed being a woman, but hormones really do suck.