submerged

This is kind of how I've been feeling lately. Submerged.

Everything is muffled, somehow.

I blame hormones.

And anxiety. Well, maybe not quite anxiety, but I am feeling somewhat anxious about our return home. I wish we weren't getting home with only 18 days til Christmas. I wish all of our Christmas decorations were up, waiting for us. I wish I had more gifts ready, made and purchased.

The thought of going home, excavating Max and Lucas's room, unpacking everything, having a crazy excited dog and his accompanying hair everywhere, and having to get ready in a hurry for Christmas is overwhelming me.

That and having to re-integrate the boys to school and all of us to having a schedule and actually getting up and ready in the morning...

So, yeah. I've been blue. But my parents arrived on Saturday and I'm hoping that their presence will be enough to pull me out of it! At least until they leave.

spt -- something blue

I've been inexplicably blue -- to the point where I only seem to have a few days out of the month where I have energy, am motivated, and just feel like I can cope. (And yes, I have been taking my meds! Not good.) I worry about what my family thinks of me. I don't want them to feel like they have to tiptoe around me. I don't want them to look back and remember me as being tired, stressed, and down all the time. So glad I have a doctor's appointment next week.

blue

My parents left for home this morning. The week they were here just wasn't long enough -- there were still quite a few things we wanted to do but didn't have time for. Having them here made life feel like a vacation. I have much to report on, but for now I'm just feeling blue. How I hate being the one left behind...