This is kind of how I've been feeling lately. Submerged.Everything is muffled, somehow.
I blame hormones.
And anxiety. Well, maybe not quite anxiety, but I am feeling somewhat anxious about our return home. I wish we weren't getting home with only 18 days til Christmas. I wish all of our Christmas decorations were up, waiting for us. I wish I had more gifts ready, made and purchased.
The thought of going home, excavating Max and Lucas's room, unpacking everything, having a crazy excited dog and his accompanying hair everywhere, and having to get ready in a hurry for Christmas is overwhelming me.
That and having to re-integrate the boys to school and all of us to having a schedule and actually getting up and ready in the morning...
So, yeah. I've been blue. But my parents arrived on Saturday and I'm hoping that their presence will be enough to pull me out of it! At least until they leave.
16 comments:
I wondered if your folks would come and see you again. I'm glad they made it.
Does it help to tell you that I'm no better prepared for Christmas and the ensuing chaos than you and I haven't been gone? No? Well, I'll just say, "I'm thinking of you" then, and remind you of a blog post you wrote a few years ago when you decided you wouldn't stay up late in the frenzy, and what a difference that made.
Enjoy your last little bit without a schedule.
I know how you feel--sort of. I've never been gone nearly as long as you have before Christmas, but I do know what it's like to come home from a trip with only a few short weeks before Christmas with almost nothing done. It's exhausting, but you can do it. If anybody can do it you can.
i know blue.
i've been blue. indigo, really. and it's not just 40.
i have been pushing the Christmas holidays this year (which is very unlike me), welcoming them into my home before Dec. 1. i'm sooooo ready to get lost in the magical merriment of Disney World this week.
have a wonderful visit with your parents and enjoy the remaining weeks in Paris!
I'm so sorry you're feeling submerged. I hope you can push to the surface and take a breath. Remind yourself that things do not have to perfect or as big as they normally are. I can help you excavate the boys' room. I can't help with the dog, but will vacuum the hair as needed.
Take some cleansing breaths, enjoy your parents' visit and your last few weeks there. It will all work out, it always does!
I completely understand this post-
I always feel this way at Christmas time, sadly.
Amazingly- this year I don't- it's a first. I am truly flying high with the missionary & grandbaby coming for Christmas.
I wish I could help. The anticipation of events is always worse than the real thing! I bet that's how it will be for you.
Just think- the schedule of home will bring back some free time & FANTASTIC CREATIVE FRIDAYS... :)
All that would send my pulse racing in the middle of the night as well. I agree with Jill though, it does not have to be as big and perfect as usual. Now the trick is getting your own mind and heart to subscribe to the idea. (The hardest part.)
On the advice of a friend, I recently reread the last page of "Little House In the Big Woods" where Laura is laying in bed thinking, "This is now." And how her happiness could not be forgotten because "now is now." This has brought all kinds of comfort to me and may help you these last weeks in Paris...this is now.
Get home and I promise to help you deck your house out!! Tell me the day and I will ditch work (happily) and help you unpack, clean up dog hair, entertain Eva - or just pour you the diet coke...an I.V. maybe?
I love the image of feeling submerged. I'm sad for you but love how you described it and I hope your parents' visit pulls your head above water! Thinking of you...
I really love how Jill said to allow yourself to have different expectations this year. Shoot for that, my friend :)
And wow--April's comment...oh how I love the Little House books. "Now is now," that is so simply profound.
Breathe!
xoxo
Oh dear. Blue in Paris just seems wrong to me. Understandable, though. I'm sorry.
I hope things go smoother than you think they will.
Really, wow to April's comments. I think I second everything she said. I would be freaking out also if I were in your shoes. I think it is just our nature to want everything to be perfect for the holidays. Have fun with your parents.
oh michelle. i feel for you. i'd have the bah humbugs in the worst way with all of that on my shoulders. i'm sure your parents will help a ton and besides that you just have a way...i know you can pull it off.
i'm in love with your photo. it's perfect and beautiful.
Don't mourn the leaving of Paris before having left!
I would stress out coming home to right before Christmas. But I agree that you may just have a different holiday this year. It will be no less magical and special if every part of the house isn't decked, or you don't do every bit of your regular routine.
Allow yourself to ease into coming back from an amazing experience...and just enjoy the spirit of Christmas!
Have so much fun with your parents!
P.S. In all your spare time you really need to do a blurb book just with photos of your Paris life. It would be a feast for the eyes!
I hate that submerged feeling. Sometimes I feel like I'm wrapped up in wool batting.
I don't feel very holiday-ish this year. You know, I think the re-emergence of the crafting scene has been great in some respects, but I also think that it's put a lot of pressure on women to make every little part of each and every holiday handmade and perfect. I've seen a million tutorials for thanksgiving placemats for adults and children, place card holders, finger puppets to keep the kids entertained, centerpieces to make, garlands to sew and hang, and on and on...As if getting the whole Thanksgiving meal on the table wasn't stress enough. How is it that we were stressed 15 years ago when we weren't worrying about all of these additional things?
Which reminds me of a the sentiment that even though our lives are filled with more conveniences, we are busier than ever.
You've been wonderful company! Now just "breath and stay calm" as the poster says that you gave me last year for Christmas. It now hangs in my office and I refer to it daily.
Enjoy the last trip to the library...maybe those fresh daily bakery treats on the early special and a few more gelatos before you leave.
I'm in the same boat with you for Christmas completion, but am praying that I will be able to take it in stride and enjoy the anticipation and the work!
Just be "a happy little maggot"!!!!
And, you'll probably have to explain that one to your followers!
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