Thursday, February 14, 2008

love letter #3: max


Dear Maxman --

I love you. I don't know where the last 12 years have gone, I remember so clearly the day you arrived, on our 4th anniversary. You challenged my preconceptions of what a newborn would be like. You didn't really like to sleep much, and it was obvious you just didn't want to miss out on any of the fun. You challenged me as a mother, and pushed me to study and learn and pray. You taught me patience, a gift that has served me well.

As my oldest child, you have had to endure many mistakes on my part -- there's a steep learning curve here, so please be forgiving. You are such a perfectionist and are terribly hard on yourself; you seem to always be disappointed in yourself, even though everyone else thinks you are wonderful! Your dad and I both have perfectionist tendencies, but we have always tried not to impose this on you. It is hard to see someone that I love so much never giving himself a break.

You and I have a lot in common -- you also need alone time and sometimes need to retreat from social chaos. You love school and do very well in your classes. You enjoy trying new recipes and are undaunted by complicated ones. You are shy with new people, but open up when you get to know them. Almost every time I get frustrated by your behavior, I end up realizing that you're just so much like me. Oops!

I love the friendship you have with Lucas. I love that you are not afraid to love math, fractals, graphing, and computer programming. I love that you decided to take up the cello and have discovered a new passion. I love that you were so thrilled to get a music stand for Christmas, and that you are genuinely happy with any little gift or trinket that comes your way. I love the way you love and protect your little sister, and I love your willingness to babysit (I promise to try not to take too much advantage). I love the fact that you are such good company.

I know as well as I know anything in this world that your sensitivity, your persistence, your intelligence, and your desire to do what is right will take you far during your lifetime. As your mother, I see that my job is to help you channel these qualities in positive ways and to try to teach you not to be overwhelmed by the difference between who you are now and who you want to become (I am so familiar with that quest). You will always be my first baby, my thoughtful, loving boy.

Love -- Mom

8 comments:

Emmanuelle said...

What a lovely letter to your Max !
I also loved the two first one.
You are such a great mom and your kids are very lucky.
Happy Valentine's day to you :-))

Jill said...

I can't believe he's 12.5 either?! What in the world. I remember getting his birth announcement and having it hang on our fridge forever. Wow.

It's so interesting and upsetting that the behaviors that bother us in our kids are so similar to our own.

carlo said...

so, so sweet. these letters are so touching.

what a great gift

happy valentine's day!

charlotte said...

This is great Michelle. Max is such an amazing kid, and that's so sweet he can have this. I love your family! Happy Valentine's Day!

Anonymous said...

Max is awesome- he is such a great big brother and so handsome.

I just love this tender voice in all these letters. Jessie has always talked to so highly of your mothering- and when I think of patient and in tune mothers, you always come to mind first. The letters are such an example of your sweet mothering.

Liz said...

What a sweet letter to Max! He sounds like a great boy!

I wonder if these perfectionist tendencies run in first-born children? I tend to be that way, and Lindsey is this way too.

Elisa said...

I am crying! That is so sweet, he reminds me a lot of my husband. The perfectionism, love of everything math/technology and not keen on too much social.
I wrote letters to my kids too, and my very private, not very social husband asked me not to post them, but after reading yours I wish I would have! They are so sweet.

Neighbor Jane Payne said...

Michelle, I have loved these posts about your kids. I love seeing them through a mother's eyes--so inspiring, thank you.

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