self-improvement

We had an amazing sacrament meeting today, and I knew I had to get my thoughts down before they flew out of my head.

{an aside: even though Marc went out to scrape off the car and warm it up ahead of time, my van's sliding doors were frozen shut! We put the heat on full blast and then had to go back inside and wait for it to thaw. Then, I couldn't back the van out of the driveway! After about 10 minutes of trying, sliding, and spinning, we made it out -- with the slightly scary smell of burning rubber. We were 20 minutes late and arrived just before I had to accompany a boy's/men's chorus. What in the world?}

The ward mission leader gave a powerful talk. He spoke about how his 5th grade teacher had an unorthodox method of giving grades -- he would hold up each paper, then read the student's name & the grade -- unless they had a grade lower than a C, in which case he would say, "you missed the boat". The speaker explained that he had missed the boat on more than one occasion, and that hearing those words was painfully disappointing, because he knew he had not adequately prepared. Of course, he then went on to say that we don't want to find ourselves in the position of missing the boat due to inadequate preparation, whether it be for missionary service, or our mortal life in general.

A newly-called missionary spoke, the 4th in his family. He was just so earnest. It was obvious that he has a testimony and has been preparing for his mission for years.

He related an incident that touched me: he said he still remembered a lesson one of his Primary teachers had taught (a woman who is still in our ward). She taught them about missionary work, and asked them if they wanted to serve a mission. They each nodded. But she had them go around the room and say, "yes, I want to serve a mission." When he heard himself say those words, he knew that they were true, and he started preparing himself from that moment on. Isn't that incredible? I can only imagine what that dear woman felt when she learned that her lesson made such an impact on one of her students.

Another thing struck me: he told us he had been fortunate enough to accompany his parents to Mexico when they picked up another brother at the end of his mission. As they went to the humble homes of some of his brother's friends, he was struck both by how little they had, and by how much they were willing to share -- they never left a home empty-handed. This experience brought him a degree of humility he had never known before, and he said, "I have been so very, very blessed. I have been given so much. The best thing I can do is to improve myself and then go out and serve."

I love the idea of self-improvement as an expression of gratitude. I have several areas of my life in which I really do need to improve and/or change a great deal, but I have been feeling so stuck, as if no amount of knowledge that I need to change is sufficient to actually bring about said change. But this is a powerful idea to me -- one that may help me along in my quest, and may help me to find the determination I need.

I was also reminded of a comment Kristi made on my blog quite awhile ago. She said something like, "There is one who wants this for you even more than you want it for yourself, and He will help you." I'm realizing that, although I have prayed and even fasted for the strength I am seeking, I have not made it a matter of consistent, earnest prayer. I think I know what I need to do.

I am so grateful for the people all around me who inspire me to become a better person!