Saturday, January 01, 2011

highs and lows

I've been mentally reviewing 2010 a bit, now that it's come to an end.

First, some lows:
  • Both of my grandmothers died, within a couple of months of each other. A devastating loss.
  • I sprained my foot in July, and it hasn't healed properly. I still can't wear most of my shoes and it hurts frequently.
  • Jill got a job. I know it seems as if maybe this shouldn't be on my list of lows, but it has impacted me negatively. (How's that for selfish?)
  • My knees are about as bad as they've ever been. Chronic pain is hard to deal with.
  • Depression has been threatening to overcome me for quite some time. I'm pushing through, but it just requires so much effort.

And now for the highs:
  • I learned more about grief. As it turns out, I can survive the thing I thought I could not survive, with the help of the Savior. He and His atonement mean more to me now than ever before. Plus, it's kind of nice knowing that you have someone rooting for you on the other side.
  • I learned more about accepting help. It's humbling to not be able to do things for myself, and when people step in to take up the slack, I just feel utterly rescued.
  • I was able once again to attend Women's Conference with Jill and Kristi and be strengthened in so many ways.
  • I went on some really great trips – Seattle with the family, North Carolina with my kids and parents and siblings, and Denver for Charlotte's wedding.
  • I discovered a new, non-surgical treatment option for my knees. I have been waiting with great excitement for the new year to begin so that I can give it a try!

Right now, I'm feeling a little bit like I've been beaten up. I've taken some knocks, but I'm on my feet. I have a lot of work to do. But I have high hopes for 2011, and that's a good feeling.


Jill said...

It is totally shocking that you went to a New Year's Eve party! I hope it was fun.

I appreciate it that you consider my job a low in your life. I'm sorry that it has caused you sadness, but it makes you a strongly sympathetic ally as I try to adjust and embrace it.

I'm so glad you were able to come through the loss of your grandmother so well, and especially that you were able to be there for her last moments and be able to document them so beautifully for your family. What a gift!

I hope the new treatment for your knees gives you relief, chronic pain is hard to live with.

Amie said...

It makes me sad to think of you hurting most of the time. I hope your new treatment works. I'm excited to hear what it is.

I feel selfishly sad about Jill's job too. Which is kind of dumb considering I didn't see her much before the job.

I like these posts. They seem so introspective they intimidate me to try to really cover the year. But I think everyone who does them does such a great job. Hmmmm. Maybe I will give it a try?

I hope 2011 is one of your best...

Neighbor Jane Payne said...

Michelle, you forgot to include in your highs that you were a great blessing and inspiration to many people! Yes, it's true. It should be on the list and I thank you for it.

lelly said...

Ah. I have a close affinity with highs and lows this year. I am choosing to believe that the pendulum swung down in 2010, and it can only go up in 2011!

And what Jane said? Absolutely!! Thank you for your friendship this year.

patsy said...

ditto on the friendship!

I (selfishly) feel a bit relieved to not be the only one- who felt 2010 had a few too many lows.
Yes- lessons learned- still lows... blah.

I am so sad to think of you in chronic pain. I hope you can find something that helps & soon.

As far as depression goes- just know we are all in that boat with ya. Just think of your friends paddling along side you.

Hooray for a new year!
It's going to be good- I can feel it.

Susan said...

As your mother, I feel your pain as my own. Mothers should be close enough to be one of the rescuers. That makes me sad.

We did share some nice family time together, and that was memorable.

I have really been suffering from arthritic pain in my hands, serious pain. I need my hands! I love my hands and never have appreciated my hands enough. I keep remembering how Grandma approached her pain. She seldom complained, and if she did she apologized for doing so! She felt that it must be something that she was required to bear, and that she could do it.

I hope you feel better in all ways. I have some high hopes for 2011. I'm pretty sure I can make it happen.

I wish I lived next door.

Kelly said...

You had some pretty jarring lows this year, so I admire the fact that you see so many highs, too. I really hope your knee issues can be resolved, so that won't be an issue for you this year. Pain is a heavy burden to carry. Best wishes for 2011 to be joyful!

Charlotte said...

Those are some rough lows. Though I'm always surprised at what I can bear when it comes down to it. I'm glad you felt strengthened in your grief—it sure helps to have the support of others who are grieving with you. I found that whole experience to be unifying and strengthening—what a blessing.

Overall it looks like you had a productive and full year—I have high hopes for 2011 as well!

Love you.

Rebekah said...

I'm seeing that 2010 was not the greatest year for many of us, but at least it's over now. Attitude is the key, isn't it? I'm going to try to keep a hopeful and positive outlook this year regardless of what's going on in my life. I want to have a good year, not a bad one.

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