spt -- #14 of 100

I had to postpone this one because I didn't have time yesterday to do it justice.

#7 of my 100 list: My grandmother Charlotte is my hero.

I studied this photo of her when she was a girl. She looks just as spunky and charismatic and fun and adorable as she is now at the age of 82. (and, boy, I can see the resemblance with my darling cousin Ashley!)

I wrote this post about her 2 1/2 years ago. I went back and read it tonight and now I can hardly type for the tears streaming down my face.

What can I add?

-- She taught me that whatever you do, it only has to be okay with you and with the Savior. Who cares what anyone else thinks? Even if they are close to you and disapprove of you at times, ultimately that does not matter if you have met the above criteria.

-- She taught me that Relief Society is important. She told me once that she received her education from Relief Society. She had very little formal education, but she is a highly refined, educated woman, so this gave me an entirely new respect and admiration for Relief Society.

-- She taught me many, many things about cooking, and she continues to commiserate with me about fallen cakes, gives me pointers, and passes along great new recipes.

-- She taught me that it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks of your hair, as long as you like it. (now if only it was easier for me to like it!)

-- She taught me that you can be happy, even when your circumstances do not seem very conducive to happiness. The first point above is crucial, but it goes beyond that. Even though she has macular degeneration and her eyesight is failing her progressively, she still finds ways to cook, iron, keep house, entertain, and be enviably cute all the while. She can't enjoy reading anymore, so she listens to audiobooks, and we still advise each other on our current favorites.

-- She taught me to embrace my love of words and not to censor my self for fear that others would look at me askance or not fully comprehend what I was talking about.

-- She taught me that wigs can indeed be cute. Stylish, even. (Though she would not approve of my posting this photo because she was wearing her "cooking wig" in it -- the one that got singed when she was pulling something out of the oven.)


-- She taught me that, if you can just hold on for about 40 years or so, being married is undeniably worth it. Sometimes that makes me laugh. And sometimes it makes me want to cry.

-- She taught me that if you are heavier than you'd like, you'll always look and feel better if you get clothes that actually fit, even if you cringe over buying a larger size.

-- We were talking about divorce the other day. Her parents are divorced, and she told me the following: "Honey, I often hear people talk about how they don't want to stay together just for their children. Well, I'll tell you, that's a damn good reason to stay together!" When she tells me things like this, I feel like I am stopped in my tracks. I make a mental note of it, and when I refer to it later, I can hear her voice in my mind.

-- She taught me that mothers are more concerned with behavior, and grandmothers are more concerned with feelings. (So that's why grandmothers are so wonderful!)

-- She taught me that when you find yourself in a place you'd rather not be (as when she was in a rehabilitation center after her knee replacement this year), you can choose to be a sunbeam for Jesus. I don't mind telling you, that song has never been anything more to me than a catchy tune, but hearing her say that, even in my mind, brings a catch in my throat.

-- She taught me about true reciprocity.

-- She taught me that our similarities are far more important than our differences. (She loves instrumental jazz.)

-- She taught me that a woman can be independent and still loving. She calls herself "gritty" because she is strong and knows she can weather all things with the Lord's help. I aspire to being just as gritty.

-- She taught me that aging gracefully is a beautiful thing.

-- She taught me that unconditional love is not only possible, but it's also pretty much the only thing that makes life worthwhile.

-- She taught me that a woman has unimaginable powers of influence.

I'm sure there's more, but honestly, I keep getting more and more choked up as I'm trying to type here, so I'm going to stop. To be continued, as Grandma often says at the end of our phone conversations...

I love you, Grandma. Charlotte Jane Hunter Petersen. My hero.

p.s. Lest you think she is perfect, I will say that I freely forgive her for her unwitting introduction of chubby knees and arthritis into my gene pool...