Today started out great. Eva and I went to pick up our new recumbent bike (more on that later). We went to Kohl's to return something, and ended up getting a bunch of clothes to try on -- both of us, which was a funny first.As I was pushing the stroller around looking at the racks, Eva was chattering away as usual. We almost always have a constant conversation going, because she is rarely just quiet. Anyway, another woman came up to me and said, "I'm sorry, I hope you don't think this is weird, but I just wanted to tell you that I've been observing you with your daughter and I was impressed. You are so good with her."
Needless to say, her comment made me feel great! It was one of those rare moments as a mother when I felt like I was getting a big pat on the back.
Fast forward to later this afternoon. Eva fell asleep in the car for a short while, which totally ruined her for her nap. Very shortly after we got home, she started to completely fall apart. She probably would have been fine if I had been able to sit and cuddle with her, but I had some other tasks I needed to attend to, and we descended quickly into a negative place.
It took everything I had to remain calm and give her the options of calming down herself or going to cry in her room. Over and over. For over two hours. It seemed I could feel my blood pressure rising and I thought I might actually explode. It was definitely one of those times when I wanted to just walk away and not be anybody's mother, and all I could think about was that woman complimenting me on being so good with Eva. Ha! Little does she know.
Eva is a funny girl, a charming girl, a sweet girl. She is also very opinionated and very persistent. And apparently she can bring me to my breaking point without a moment's notice. Now what does that say about me??
23 comments:
It says that you are just like the rest of us. You were just lucky enough to have somebody notice you at your best and not at your worst. Luckily Eva allowed you to save that part of yourself for the privacy of your own home!
It says you are normal and wonderful and aware and trying. At least it better say that because I bounce back and forth between the two almost within the same minute!
I'm looking forward to the day when we can sit around sipping lemonade, feeling just a tinge of longing for someone to smother us!
let's see, it says that you are a mom of a young girl. it's okay to have good moments and bad moments (or hours). don't forget eva is having them too, needing a nap doesn't help things either. i'm feeling for you!
It says that maybe I'm not as bad a mother as I thought! I'm not sure if this makes sense or not, but knowing that you--who I think of as the ultimate "Good Mother"--has a breaking point, makes me realize that I guess we all do. Sarah seems to bring me to mine on nearly a daily basis. . . .
One day I would love to be a fly on Eva's wall and hear her entertaining banter non-stop!
I am with Amy! How awesome that she was great at the store and saved the smothering for the privacy of your how home. I do hate when they are out of sorts after such a great day. It always makes me think, 'But we were doing so good! Today was a good day!" I am so grateful they don't stay 3 forever...
the challenges of motherhood and womanhood are taxing just because they are so extreme all the time! i think you are a wonderful mother and how great for someone to notice. have you read jordan's post tonight? she has the best quote on femininity. seems there may be a theme going on... : ) i for one, would love to have a little bottle of michelle kindness to pull out and use when i'm out and about with kids.
I LOVE that a stranger gave you a compliment.... so nice that she noticed you having a good moment with Eva. I'm sorry that you had a rough afternoon but hopefully now that is over you can revel in your compliment again. Is this one of those times when we must know the opposition...
Seems like no coincidence that those comments come on the hardest days! Just when I think I am doing well as a mother, I have the same experience. Toddlers are so unpredictable. They don't even know WHAT they are feeling and why. It's like a woman with raging hormones- just give her chocolate and Grey's Anatomy and she'll be better in no time. That's my theory anyway! (If Grey's is not suitable for said toddler, Enchanted will suffice for a good dose of Patrick Dempsey)
I think every day has its challenging Smotherhood moments, but some are more glaring than usual. You are by far the most patient mother I have ever seen, so for you to get flustered things have got to be bad. Any child (or adult really) who is sleep deprived is an irrational force to contend with. I've seen Eva in this state and know the pain, you always do great with her.
It's says that you are a mother doing the best she can. I think we all have moments like this, I know my moments are, sadly, more often than not.
I remember driving in the car around nap time and doing everything I could to keep them awake. My kids never made the transfer well. Drove me crazy.
ohhhhhh yeah....those moments...it is just bad when they don't sleep their nap....they get cranky for sure.
but jill is right...you are a very patient mom, although eva does surely trie you for sure!
I'm not a mother, but I definitely see that you are an amazing one :) Everyone has breaking points--one time I threw a waterbottle at Emily. Bad way of dealing with a breaking point.
I love that that "stranger" thought to compliment you. What a blessing! Almost all of motherhood is invisible...glad someone caught you doing your job beautifully.
I remember having my visiting teachers come over once and as they were leaving, one said, "I love how you talk to your kids." I've thought about it a lot since...particularly when I'm not talking to them kindly and wonder why I can't be that mom all the time. Probably because they aren't those kids all the time.
If you can be complimented in a store, with a busy, talkative little girl...you are doing something right:)
As the mother of you, I have personally never seen you loose your cool with any of your children....and that is MOST amazing!!! I am so often in awe of that ability. I know I never had that.
Just like Aunt Patti has said, and I'll say it again-"you never know, it could be really good! But then again, it could be REALLY bad.
That being said, carry on and endure to the end. You are the most amazing mother. To me, you are.
Michelle- thanks so much for this post. Describes my day to a T and your writing illustrates this feeling of smotherhood perfectly. I feel much better after reading this.
I have never seen the word smotherhood, and now I wonder how didn't I coin the word myself?
You got a full range of smotherhood emotions and experiences with Eva this day.
"Smotherhood," har har! That's good.
I think it says quite A LOT about you, actually, that even though she's able to bring you to the boiling point, you don't let it show.
I could learn from you. Need an intern, by any chance?!
it is true the power of a strangers comment.
Know you aren't alone. She really is a cutie! I definitely have highs and lows with my kids in just an hour of time.
How nice of that lady. That would have made my week!
That day doesn't sound so far removed from one of mine with Isla. It's funny (or tragic) that we always seem to be able to assign 'tiredness' or 'messed up sleep patterns' to the reason behind our little ones 'losing it', but we can never allow ourselves the same reasons. By the end of the day, as I've pointed out to my husband, I am almost running on empty. Your morning sounded fairly busy - cut yourself some slack on how the afternoon went!
Nice lady who commented too! I always feign nonchalance when I get compliments like that, but back home I skip around the house beaming!
I wonder if she read Kristi's challenge to compliment a stranger. That would be a full circle experience.
I am amazed how quickly I can go from feeling I have it all together to it all falling apart. You are doing great!
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