"Love conforms to our vision. You'll always get what you want, so have the desire for the highest love you can imagine." - Deepak Chopra
These words have rocked my world.
They have made me realize how low my aspirations have been. I tend to expect very little from others. That way, if they fail me, I am not totally crushed, because I really wasn't expecting them to come through in a big way. And if they happen to exceed my expectations (obviously not all that difficult to do), I am pleasantly surprised.
Evidently, it has been more important to protect myself from disappointment than to dream big. What is the highest love I can imagine? I don't know -- I haven't allowed myself to even imagine it. But I think I need to give up my cherished invulnerability. I need a new vision.
13 comments:
Great post Michelle. And great quote. I, too, have been thinking a lot about my expectations and aspirations.
And you're right. Protecting oneself is oh so much safer (and easier). But being safe keeps one from greatness. Good luck on finding your new vision. You already seem like a wonderful person . . . I can only imagine what elevated aspirations might bring :)
My world was rocked a bit when I read that quote on Anne's blog too. I feel like I'm such a novice when it comes to love. It's weird really because I have obvious expectations when it comes to my kids, my friends and other relationships but when it comes to love (and my marriage really) I'm definitely a coward and play it safe. I'm not sure how to change this.
I love this quote too. I have been the same as you, I have low expectations as a definite self protection. I'm working on it, knowing I deserve more because of who I am. Sounds cheesy but I'm a daughter of God and he wants the best for me so why would I settle for less? Great post Michelle, I love it!
wow, i often find that i have high expectations of others. i mean, really high, like there's no way they could ever live up to them. and then? then i can point out to them how much they let me down (ahem, sorry matty.)
but for myself? i have had very low, low expectations. like maybe i don't dare expect anything great for myself.
huh.
i definitely need to shake myself up a bit. thanks for sharing this amazing quote (and thanks to anne!)
michelle I can totally relate to this in fact last week I had a huge conversation with Adam about how my fear holds me back. I am afraid of getting hurt and so I protect myself, by not allowing others to get in. It is a hard thing to overcome, especially when I've done it for so long, but I am so determined to have rich relationships that I am willing to do the work or experience pain if need be. Really in the end you would never regret the time and energy you spent loving someone.
That's a great quote. I'm a person who has high expectations for myself and others, so it's nice to think that I can "get what I want" by simply giving over to all my crazy fantasies. My mother loves talking about positive thinking (you should see her fridge- cheesy quotes galore). I also read a quote recently that shook me up, and I can't remember who said it, but it was basically along the lines of, "Before every decision I make, I try and remember that I'm going to die." Totally morbid, but I kind of loved it. Even though it depresses me as my survival job keeps me in a cubicle all day. Maybe not for long! Fingers crossed!
Hmmm, I'm going to have to think about this. I think that I may be on the other end of expectations, where others think they can never measure up to my expectations, family or staff. While I don't feel this way at all, I do have high expectations for love from many. I have been thinking alot lately about how I can be more deserving of these expectations by serving those I love and want to be loved by, including my staff. Good food for thought. Thanks, as usual, my profound thinking daughter.
I always think about that in terms of general expectations, not love. Sucks, huh? To think I have to keep my expectations so low to never be disappointed.
P.S. Oh yeah, even with terribly low expectations I still get disapointed at times. I generally have extremely high expectations of my friends, though, which is probably why I don't have too many!
My problem is the other way around. I have high expectations and am very often disappointed in others. Is there a happy medium?
This is really making me think! Sometimes it seems like I don't even know what my expectations are. I just kind of go along. Then I get surprised at myself when I'm disappointed. Hmm. I will be thinking about this for a long time, I think.
I haven't thought about this as "get what you want" but I am a big believer in "you get what you give" - I never mind being the first to try because I feel like in the end it comes back to me many fold. I am the opposite of Jill, I am better at trying to make our marriage better (because I want a good marriage so bad) but have had to learn to be a better friend, sister, etc.
I think even when we think we have low expectations, we are still disappointed because secretly we were hoping for a surprise. It is so refreshing to me when someone is real and straight forward, I am trying to be more like that. I can't be mad at Jimmy if I didn't tell the truth about what I want from him right?
Thanks for the thoughts....
i was just thinking along these lines the other day because i remember being in my 20's and really lowering my bday expectations so as not to be disappointed. and i've done the same with most everything. i figure if i don't expect much i can be grateful for whatever i get. but think anne's quote makes much more sense in life because i am no learning and believe that we attract what we think and expect out of life. time to change those mind tapes! thanks for posting this.
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