knock on wood

Finally, after over two weeks of sickness in my family, things seem to be settling down. (I hesitate to put that in writing, because last Sunday Marc and I were expressing our surprise and relief that no one else had gotten sick, and wouldn't you know it? Monday morning he and Eva were sick.) I'm not sure why it is so exhausting taking care of sick people, but here are some musings: I think part of it is that I don't get anything else done, and feeling like I've accomplished something seems to be essential to my emotional well-being. (I know, caring for my family is accomplishing something, but I mean something visible and tangible.) Another part of it is being house-bound. It's funny, really, because I am such a ferocious homebody, but when I can't leave home, I start to get stir-crazy. Is that weird? Also, it is just so emotionally draining. Finally, and here's the totally selfish part, I don't understand why they are so demanding. I mean, when I get sick, I'd love nothing more than to take to my bed and rest, and sleep and read, if possible. If everyone would just leave me alone to recuperate, I'd be so overwhelmed with gratitude, I wouldn't require anything else at all. But given the reaction of my family members when they're sick, you'd think that lying in bed is torture. Even when I was a child, I would stay in bed until I got better. I would get up in the night, throw up, and go back to bed without ever waking my parents. When my family is sick, I always have a pit in my stomach because I feel like they always want something more from me than I know how to give, all the while feeling like the life is being sucked out of me. Does that make any sense? I honestly would like to know if anyone can relate to this or if I'm just a wench.

Eva still has a cold, but she's not throwing up anymore. As long as she gets a nap (much easier said than done) she is pretty happy and doesn't have any episodes of demonic possession. I'm happy to report that we didn't have a single such occurrence today! I have a cold, too, but it's so much easier to deal with being sick myself than taking care of sickies that I am okay with that. I went out and did a couple of errands today! Woohoo! Escape from the house! I did four loads of laundry. And I took the boys to Nickelcade tonight to celebrate the end of school. All in all, it's the most normal day I've had in over two weeks (the first day I haven't felt utterly depressed and exhausted).


I feel so out of the blogging loop. I've got some catching up to do. Last Thursday, I got a package from Jill. It had the cute little tiny alphabet stamps that snap together that I've been pining for, and these cute die-cut letters. Best of all, this card that she created, saying "Michelle you WILL get through this week"! I can't tell you how many times I looked at that card, willing myself to believe it. It didn't feel like I would make it through the week, but I did, because I had to. And that, my friends, is the nature of smotherhood. Anyway, I will be holding on to this card, because I suspect I will have other weeks (hopefully in the far-distant future) when I will again need to refer to that sentiment, if only to convince myself that this, too, shall pass. I only wish I could have read Rachelle's great post on "just for today" a few days ago. That little mantra is useful in so many situations!

Thanks, Jill, and everyone else who expressed empathy and concern for me. It really does help just to know that people are aware of your struggles and are pulling for you. Things are looking up!