I went visiting teaching for the first time with my new (dreaded) companion, and already I am eating humble pie. As soon as she got in my car, she told me how excited she was to be my companion so that she could get to know me better, and she said what I thought was the greatest thing: “I love it when the Lord chooses my friends!” It had the ring of truth to it, even though I have never thought of it in quite that way before.
And what was the topic of our lesson? Charity, of course. Exercising Charity and Nurturing Those in Need, to be exact. I felt like it was written solely for my benefit. Remember my post about The Rector’s Wife and how we can show the kindness that we are yearning to give to others in ways that are truly meaningful to them? Well, check out this quote from Marvin J. Ashton:
We often equate charity with visiting the sick, taking in casseroles to those in need, or sharing our excess with those who are less fortunate. But really, true charity is much, much more.
Real charity is not something you give away; it is something that you acquire and make a part of yourself. And when the virtue of charity becomes implanted in your heart, you are never the same again…
Perhaps the greatest charity comes when we are kind to each other, when we don’t judge or categorize someone else, when we simply give each other the benefit of the doubt or remain quiet. Charity is accepting someone’s differences, weaknesses, and shortcomings; having patience with someone who has let us down; or resisting the impulse to become offended… Charity is refusing to take advantage of another’s weakness and being willing to forgive someone who has hurt us. Charity is expecting the best of each other.
Wow. Now I know just what I need to be working on. Not judging or categorizing, giving others the benefit of the doubt, remaining quiet, having patience with someone who has let me down, expecting the best of others (perhaps the most difficult part for me). All of that is so much harder than baking bread or cleaning someone's house! This is what I really want to achieve. I feel like now, in addition to seeking discernment, I have some concrete ideas of where I need to go.
Oh, and my companion? She was very real, genuine, and thoroughly insightful. Charity never faileth indeed.
14 comments:
I love Marvin J. Ashton, and I love what he says about charity. How painfully true! (BTW, I got to ride in an elevator with him in the Salt Lake Temple once!).
When I find charity lacking in myself, I take a tip from the Book of Mormon (unfortunately, can't remember exactly where) and pray that my heart will be filled with charity toward others--or better yet, towards someone specific. It really works!
I'm glad you like her more than you thought. I really like that idea of Charity. I always remember a thought frm Sheri L. Dew about thinking the best of eachother. She said we should just assume that we are all functioning at our best and at the highest level we can perform. We should automatically think the best of eachother, and it really amkes you feel better. Like grandma says, 'You're not happy when you are judging."
I remember when it came as an epiphany to me that I could choose whether or not to be offended. There have been many times in the past that I could have been very offended and had my feelings hurt, but I consciously work past it because I know it will serve no good to myself or others. Then there are other times where I'm not quite as good and let myself get indignant.
Great thoughts.
We really are happier when we think the best of eachother.
Glad your blog is back!
Wow, I think I would have sunk into a 10feet hole if I got into the car and my new companion said something like that (with my previous thoughts)
It is a big challenge for me lately to do charity especially in our ward. I feel as though I am almost checked out so to speak. Such a terrible attitude! Anyways thanks for the post..charity is something I need to work on!
I've had those experiences when I've prayed for charity and I find it amazing how the Spirit makes it possible for you to put aside your judgements and see the good qualities about someone. It's hard to always have that spirit of charity, but I'm sure glad to know it's attainable. It makes life so much easier and brighter when you see others as Christ sees them. It's a whole new way of living!
I really need to renew my Ensign subscription. What a neat quote, he puts things so clearly sometimes. I found myself saying, "duh, pam", I need to get with the program. I'm glad that you VT experience was such an insightful for you today, I hope that I can glean as much from mine as you have from yours. Thanks for sharing.
I am printing that quote out right now. I totally need that. I have had a close close friendship pretty much irrevocably (sp?) change to a much more casual one and I struggle with judging and being disappointed as a way to cover up my hurt. It is so human and makes me feel even worse. I love the idea of separating service from charity and making charity something more internal.
Thanks for the post Michelle!
I love that you had two new posts - I thought I had been checking...
I have a VT hang up. Not the people I go with or to just the whole deal. I have put it off until the last week, although I went the first of the month last time...so again it seems like a big lapse and the awkwardness is back. I appreciate your thoughts. I love the Marvin J. Ashton quote and of course want people to treat me like that. I am sure my piece of humble pie is coming.
Wow! Great post. I really think that we all need to remember this. And...by the way, thanks for the reminder to do my Visiting Teaching. :)
What in the world? How amazing is it that this piece of humble pie was served on your very first visit with your new companion? No struggling for 2 years and then figuring it out? What a blessing. I love it that your attitude has changed so quickly and that you're feeling so differently now. I love what she said about the Lord choosing her friends for her...I hope Robyn read that and can use it for her apathetic visiting teachers in Australia.
I am so glad it ended up being a good experience. I really enjoyed the lesson as well when I gave it a few days ago. i really needed it then. I suppose I need it always.
do you know where the word "humble pie" came from? It was all the leftovers from the meat and such that they put in a pie. I think to make it edible. Of course you would have had to be very poor to eat it. Interesting don't you think?
I keep checking in multiple times a day to see if you're some how able to blog from Charleston. Alas, it isn't so. Hurry home soon.
you are in charelston.
i keep checking your blog and was glad jill commented that you were out of town i was getting worried.
i will be excited to hear about your trip
Isn't it terrible when you find out you were so wrong about somebody? You like to think that you are a good judge of character, etc, and then you find out that you couldn't have been more wrong. How terribloy humbling! Seriously, I'm glad you were wrong and that you met someone new to like! My sister and I have been talking a lot about this very subject. It even came up today over lunch with all of my aunts and uncles. It seems to be a major thrust in the church right now, and rightfully so. This is something that we can all improve upon. Thanks for the thoughts.
OH MY GOSH!!!!!!!!! I totally needed to hear that quote on charity. I've been having a real tough time, actually a real rough year and the advice people give me is disgusting, basically that you have to rely on yourself and trust no one and it is so sad how people now a days have stopped giving people the benefit of the doubt and think it's a noble characteristic to always state your opinion even if it hurts another. This quote has totally validated my thoughts and I'm so glad you posted it. I also need to work on always giving people the benefit of the doubt.
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