Sunday thoughts

A few weeks ago, I bought a darling, white ruffled jacket for my mom to wear to the temple. It was the only time in recent memory I have actually been excited to send her a birthday gift! (Usually, I have no idea what to get her.)

It was so fun for me to pick something out for her to wear to the temple. The whole time, I kept thinking, "I am so happy that we share this love of the temple!"

This last weekend, I attended BYU Women's Conference with my dear friends.

I heard some really great talks, I took a lot of notes, I have a lot to think about. I will probably share some of those thoughts in future Sunday thoughts posts. But the overwhelming feeling I had was, "I am so happy that we all share a love of the gospel!"

And I kept thinking about this scripture, and feeling like Alma:

Alma did rejoice exceedingly to see his brethren; and what added more to his joy, they were still his brethren in the Lord...

Alma 17:2

I just love that.

Sunday thoughts

Today was our fast & testimony meeting, and it was a really good one.

One thing that made it great was that the youth went to the temple yesterday morning. Both of my boys went. They had to get up around 4:00 a.m. on the last sleeping-in day of Spring break, and they did it without complaint.

Several of the youth bore their testimonies about the temple today, and Max was one of them. Hearing my child bear his testimony was a parenting payday for me. He spoke about the peace that prevails in the temple, and how nice it was to be bathed in peace for an extended period of time.

He related something that he learned in seminary once, that peace is the only emotion that the devil doesn't have a counterfeit for. I love that.

Max was also set apart as the first assistant in the priest's quorum today and was told that the Lord is pleased with his devotion and that he has been blessed with a strong testimony (music to my ears!). He was promised that as he serves in this calling, his testimony will be strengthened further.

After church, Lucas went to collect fast offerings and Max went to administer the sacrament to 4 homebound members of our ward.

Seeing my boys perform their priesthood duties gives me such joy. Peace is definitely what I am feeling today.

Sunday thoughts

This week, I was looking for some quotes by Chieko Okazaki that I heard recently in a Relief Society meeting. I didn't find them, but I did find this, which I consider to be a real gem:

Well, my dear sisters, the gospel is the good news that can free us from guilt.

We know that Jesus experienced the totality of mortal existence in Gethsemane. It's our faith that he experienced everything-- absolutely everything. Sometimes we don't think through the implications of that belief.

We talk in great generalities about the sins of all humankind, about the suffering of the entire human family. But we don't experience pain in generalities. We experience it individually.

That means he knows what it felt like when your mother died of cancer- how it was for your mother, how it still is for you. He knows what it felt like to lose the student body election. He knows that moment when the brakes locked and the car started to skid. He experienced the slave ship sailing from Ghana toward Virginia. He experienced the gas chambers at Dachau. He experienced napalm in Vietnam. He knows about drug addiction and alcoholism.

Let me go further. There is nothing you have experienced as a woman that he does not know and recognize.

On a profound level, he understands the hunger to hold your baby that sustains you through pregnancy. He understands both the physical pain of giving birth and the immense joy. He knows about PMS and cramps and menopause. He understands about rape and infertility and abortion.

His last recorded words to his disciples were, "And, lo, I am with you always, even unto the end of the world." (Matthew 28:20)

He understands your mother-pain when your five-year-old leaves for kindergarten, when a bully picks on your fifth-grader, when your daughter calls to say that the new baby has Down's Syndrome. He knows your mother-rage when a trusted babysitter sexually abuses your two-year-old, when someone gives your thirteen-year-old drugs, when someone seduces your seventeen-year-old. He knows the pain you live with when you come home to a quiet apartment where the only visitors are children, when you hear that your former husband and his new wife were sealed in the temple last week, when your fiftieth wedding anniversary rolls around and your husband has been dead for two years.
He knows all that.
He's been there.
He's been lower than all that.

He's not waiting for us to be perfect. Perfect people don't need a Savior. He came to save his people in their imperfections. He is the Lord of the living, and the living make mistakes. He's not embarrassed by us, angry at us, or shocked. He wants us in our brokenness, in our unhappiness, in our guilt and our grief.

I love this. I have been feeling this lately, but unable to express it as she did. I've just been feeling so strongly that we all have our very real, very different trials. We all feel pain and grief and fallibility and we all need the Savior. We all need the very individualized comfort and peace that only He can give. And we can all receive it, if we remember Him and turn to Him. There is no other way. And such a simple way! He is waiting to help us, He wants to bless us, and all we have to do is ask. I hope I can always remember how easy, and vital, this really is.

p.s. I was called to be the second counselor in the Primary presidency today (but I will be working with Activity Days instead of Scouts — yay!). It's been a long time since I have spent any significant time in Primary. I will be working with my dear friend Heidi, for whom I would do almost anything. Wish me luck!

Sunday thoughts on Monday

(Yesterday was a lovely foggy day—everything was flocked with a layer of frost.)

At 3:00, the members of two wards in our stake were called in to a special meeting, where boundary changes were announced.

Each member of the stake presidency spoke about how we are all called to do hard things, about how these changes will bring about much good.

But what really stood out to me was a reference to Caleb, in the book of Joshua, where he said, "Give me this mountain." I really don't know my Old Testament like I should, so this was not familiar to me. I looked it up tonight and thought about it.


9 And Moses sware on that day, saying, Surely the land whereon thy feet have trodden shall be thine inheritance, and thy children’s for ever, because thou hast wholly followed the Lord my God.

10 And now, behold, the Lord hath kept me alive, he said, these forty and five years, even since the Lord spake this word unto Moses, while the children of Israel wandered in the wilderness: and now, lo, I am this day fourscore and five years old.

11 As yet I am as strong this day as I was in the day that Moses sent me: as my strength was then, even so is my strength now, for war, both to go out, and to come in.

12 Now therefore give me this mountain, whereof the Lord spake in that day; for thou heardest in that day how the Anakims were there, and that the cities were great and fenced: if so be the Lord will be with me, then I shall be able to drive them out, as the Lord said. (emphasis mine)

And I found a talk by Spencer W. Kimball in October 1979, where he addressed this section of the scriptures:

From Caleb’s example we learn very important lessons. Just as Caleb had to struggle and remain true and faithful to gain his inheritance, so we must remember that, while the Lord has promised us a place in his kingdom, we must ever strive constantly and faithfully so as to be worthy to receive the reward.

Caleb concluded his moving declaration with a request and a challenge with which my heart finds full sympathy. The Anakims, the giants, were still inhabiting the promised land, and they had to be overcome. Said Caleb, now at 85 years, “Give me this mountain” (Josh. 14:12).

This is my feeling for the work at this moment. There are great challenges ahead of us, giant opportunities to be met. I welcome that exciting prospect and feel to say to the Lord, humbly, “Give me this mountain,” give me these challenges.

Humbly, I give this pledge to the Lord and to you, my beloved brothers and sisters, fellow workers in this sacred cause of Christ: I will go forward, with faith in the God of Israel, knowing that he will guide and direct us, and lead us, finally, to the accomplishment of his purposes and to our promised land and our promised blessings.

I just love this.

I am not there yet. I sat and cried when I heard that we and some of our neighbors will be moving to a new ward. I am so sad for Lucas, who is leaving a great Deacon's quorum and wonderful leaders. I cried when some of my young women came and hugged me. I am sad for all of the people that I will miss, for the ward family that I have loved.

I am not ready to ask for challenges, but as they are given to me, I want to, as Caleb, wholly follow the Lord my God. I want to go forward with faith. And I am grateful for the scriptures and prophets who inspire and comfort me.

Sunday thoughts

(image from ldstalk.com)

With my family sick for the last few days, there have been greater demands on me: my time, my energy, my patience, my sleep.

Lucas is a good patient, but I find it is still draining to worry about him, make sure his fever doesn't get too high, he has his medicines on schedule, etc. And it was very sad to have to go to his school and tell his drama teacher that he was too sick to make it to Friday's play performance. (I felt terrible for his dance partner.)

Eva is definitely not a good patient. Is it terrible that I wish she would have a fever and just be lethargic or take naps? Instead, she is whiny and frequently complaining about being bored. She is tired of watching movies and reading books. I cannot wait for her to get better and go back to school!

With Marc sick, too, there is no backup, so I am the lone nurse.

This is obviously not an unusual occurrence around here, so you'd think I'd be used to it by now. Or at least better at it.

Last night, I was exhausted. Just tired of nursing everyone. Frustrated that I hadn't been able to make any progress on my painting project due to all the increased needs. Worn down by my too-busy schedule. Wishing that I were the sick one, staying in bed and reading. (Although Michelle pointed out that I would probably only get one day in bed, if that, so it wouldn't really be worth getting sick. Noted.)

I stayed up late working on my lesson for YW. This morning, as Max and I went to church, just the two of us, I was down.

As soon as I sat down in sacrament meeting, I felt buoyed up. There was no particular thing that happened, just the usual singing, prayer, and of course the sacrament. Today was testimony meeting, and it was a good one. But even before any of that, I felt powerfully that just being there was so right. I felt humbled.

I've been struggling this week, but I'm so glad that I went to church today. I was just enveloped in peace, and felt so uplifted and strengthened, it was palpable. Now I feel ready to face the next week, whereas yesterday I felt ready to give up.

So, no major epiphanies today, no particular words that impacted me, just the certain knowledge that the Lord blesses us when we do what we should, when we are where we need to be.

Once again I was reminded that I have never regretted going to church, and I hope I can always remember that.

Sunday thoughts

There were a lot of great things about church today, including a joint 3rd hour with the Young Men and Young Women, and a stake Standards Night fireside tonight.

But I gave a talk in sacrament meeting on the pursuit of happiness, and I want to remember at least some of it. I can't even remember the things I said that weren't in my notes (there was quite a bit), so I'm just going to post my notes:

“In all of living, have much fun and laughter. Life is to be enjoyed, not just endured.” –Gordon B. Hinckley

Pres. Uchtdorf – Forget Me Not

“Our journey toward perfection is long, but we can find wonder and delight in even the tiniest steps in that journey.

“Forget not to be happy now.

“So many people today are waiting for their own golden ticket – the ticket that they believe holds the key to the happiness they have always dreamed about. For some, the golden ticket may be a perfect marriage; for others, a magazine-cover house or perhaps freedom from stress or worry.

“There is nothing wrong with righteous yearnings-we hope and seek after things that are ‘virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy.’ The problem comes when we put our happiness on hold as we wait for some future event-our golden ticket-to appear.”

I have learned in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content. Paul (Philippians 4:11)

What are some other things that keep us from being happy?

Sin

Alma 41:10 Do not suppose, because it has been spoken concerning restoration, that ye shall be restored from sin to happiness. Behold, I say unto you, wickedness never was happiness.

Worldly voices beckon to us to follow seemingly good paths, but we need to stay on the path of righteousness. The world’s standards of happiness do not bring true happiness.

“The cause of most of man’s unhappiness is sacrificing what he wants most for what he wants now.” – Gordon B. Hinckley

Satan wants us to see ourselves through the world’s mirrors: distorted, minimized, inferior.

We need to worry less about what others think of us and more about what the Lord thinks of us.

Happiness and peace come when we live in accordance with the gospel of Jesus Christ.

Comparison

Comparison is the fast track to misery. It takes the fun out of life. Make a decision not to do that. Qualify for, receive, and act on personal revelation – the single most important skill we can acquire in this life. This is the best way to avoid comparison because the spirit will tell you how you stand before God, if you are progressing, what you need to change, and how to do it.

We should continually check on the condition of our heart and its openness to his spirit.

When we are filled with the spirit, we have souls that are satisfied. He can fill every need, every longing, every vacuum. This is lasting happiness that no one can take away from you.

Selfishness

“Generally speaking, the most miserable people I know are those who are obsessed with themselves; the happiest people I know are those who lose themselves in the service of others...By and large, I have come to see that if we complain about life, it is because we are thinking only of ourselves.” President Gordon B. Hinckley

Willing service to others is a key to enduring happiness.

“We can rise above mere work and find comfort, joy, and loveliness in our daily lives.” (Sister Dibb) talk about what April taught me about service/servitude

We may not be called to do one great act, but consistent small acts of service, to act as the Savior would do.

“This is not to say that we should abandon hope or temper our goals. Never stop striving for the best that is within you. Never stop hoping for all of the righteous desires of your heart. But don’t close your eyes and hearts to the simple and elegant beauties of each day’s ordinary moments that make up a rich, well-lived life.

“The happiest people I know are not those who find their golden ticket; they are those who, while in pursuit of worthy goals, discover and treasure the beauty and sweetness of the everyday moments. They are the ones who, thread by daily thread, weave a tapestry of gratitude and wonder throughout their lives. These are they who are truly happy.”

“Attempt to be creative for the joy it brings. Being creative will help you enjoy life. It engenders a spirit of gratitude. It develops talents, sharpens your capacity to reason, to act, and to find purpose in life. It dispels loneliness and heartache. It gives a renewal, a spark of enthusiasm, and zest for life.” –Elder Scott

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Photos, videos, music, design, writing

I have a Heavenly Father.

He knows me.

He loves me.

He knows what is best for me.

If I follow his plan, I will be happy.

Mosiah 2:41 And moreover, I would desire that ye should consider on the blessed and happy state of those that keep the commandments of God. For behold, they are blessed in all things, both temporal and spiritual; and if they hold out faithful to the end they are received into heaven, that thereby they may dwell with God in a state of never-ending happiness. O remember, remember that these things are true; for the Lord God hath spoken it.

Sunday thoughts

Recently a member of our stake presidency (also a member of our ward) came in to talk with us in Young Women's.

He spoke of the tender feelings of his heart – his grandson had died just a day or two prior to his visit. This little boy was born prematurely, had many health problems, and had spent most of his short life in Primary Children's Hospital. As he related to us the details of his grandson's last day on earth, he could barely speak for the tears that were falling. I'm sure all of us felt heartbroken as well as we imagined those poor parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and everyone else who loved little Johnny.

He told us that he had been called upon to give many Priesthood blessings in the preceding days and weeks, and that each time he did, he felt the adversary trying to overwhelm him. In fact, he felt like Satan was out to get him, really bearing down on him as he tried to do what was right.

This became very difficult to endure, and ultimately he felt the need to say aloud: "I choose Jesus Christ," at which point he could physically feel the adversary retreating.

I was so struck by his words, and have been thinking about them ever since. How powerful it is when we choose the Savior and His way!

What if my children and all of our youth could catch the vision of being empowered by choosing Jesus Christ? What if I could remember this on an hour-by-hour basis? It would change everything. Temptations would be easier to withstand; judgment would disappear; others would become more important to me than myself; love and peace would fill my heart.

I am notoriously forgetful, but this something worth remembering, so I will give it my best effort.

I want to choose Jesus Christ today and every day.

Sunday thoughts

Today was another great Sunday!

Again I cried several times, but at least it didn't get out of control this week. Normally, I do not cry easily. At all. So I don't know what to make of my quickness to cry lately. Is it an indication that my anti-depressants aren't working properly? Or could it be a sign that my heart is more open now? I hope it's the latter.

Some highlights:

A young Deacon spoke about testimony. He and his mom and little brother moved out of our ward yesterday. He thanked all the people in the ward who have taught him and helped him to develop his own testimony. He singled out one of his home teachers who taught him about the law of the harvest: "for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap." No good thing comes without work and sacrifice.

The home teacher planted potatoes with him, and together they tended them until the (bountiful) harvest. I love that home teacher, so much.


A woman read from her father's conversion story. When he was a teenager, one of his neighbors (one he had not been entirely kind to) invited him to walk to school with him each day. Later, he invited him to play church basketball. As attending 6 church meetings a month was a requirement for being on the church team, he started going to mutual and an occasional Sacrament meeting. He liked the people, especially the cute girls. But gradually, he started to feel the Spirit confirm to him that the doctrines were true, that he was in the right place.

This continued for several years. Finally, the bishop asked him when he was going to be baptized. He met with the missionaries and was baptized by his friend who introduced him to the gospel.

He found out much later that his friend gave up playing on the varsity basketball team his senior year so that he could keep playing on the church team with him, and keep fellowshipping him. Because of that sacrifice, 37 members of his family now enjoy the blessings of the gospel. I love that teenage boy who was willing to sacrifice something that he wanted for something that he thought was more important, something that ultimately impacted so many lives for the better.


A strong, personal testimony is a true and faithful companion during good times and bad. It is reason for hope and happiness, no matter what we encounter in life. It allows us to do things we had no prior experience with, things we didn't think we could do. No one can take it away from us.

I am feeling so motivated to nurture my testimony, to look for ways to serve others, and to be the best me I can be!

p.s. there were two other things I cried over, but they will have to wait for future posts...

Sunday thoughts

We had an amazing fast & testimony meeting today.

* The bishopric member who was conducting told us that he felt a great sense of well-being this week, a feeling of being buoyed up. Then later, the bishop told him he had been praying for him. He testified of the power of prayer.

* A mother spoke about her 8-year-old daughter who is having a delicate brain surgery tomorrow morning. She said that it is very humbling to be the recipients of a ward fast. She testified of the beauty of the plan of salvation. (I was crying uncontrollably at this point.)

* A man bore his testimony, then told his wife that she was the greatest thing that ever happened to him, that he had no idea why she ever said yes. He also said that it is a wonderful thing when your sons are better men than you are. So sweet.

* A man who is a leader in young men's told of his daughter's temple marriage just a few days ago. He exhorted them all to make the temple their ultimate goal, worth any amount of sacrifice.

* A young girl got teary when expressing her gratitude for her family and for the doctrine of eternal families.

* A young man who was baptized two years ago spoke of the power of the atonement. He leaves his toddler daughter and his pregnant wife tomorrow to enter the military.

* A woman whose son was murdered two weeks ago spoke about the power of forgiveness, and the powerful comfort she has felt from so many who are keeping their baptismal covenant by mourning with those who mourn and make others' burdens light. She said that she knows they will come out of this alright because of the Savior.

My goodness. At a certain point, I had to give up wiping away my tears because they were falling faster than I could handle. The room was just thick with the Spirit.

And to top it all off, the closing hymn was I Know That My Redeemer Lives, a song I can hardly sing without crying on a normal day!

I feel drained. And invigorated. And so very blessed.

Sunday thoughts

My Sunday Thoughts today come from Marc's Gospel Doctrine class – I think that's a first. (In the past, Sunday School has been an hour to be endured, but Marc is such a good teacher that it is actually interesting and informative.)

We were reading in Acts today, and discussing how Christ's disciples were transformed from those who were taught at His feet, sometimes confused, into men of God in their own right who testified boldly and performed miracles of their own:

Acts 4:

7 And when they had set them in the midst, they asked, By what ^apower, or by what ^bname, have ye done this?

8 Then Peter, filled with the ^aHoly Ghost, said unto them, Ye rulers of the people, and elders of Israel,

9 If we this day be examined of the good deed done to the impotent man, by what means he is made whole;

10 Be it known unto you all, and to all the people of Israel, that by the ^aname of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, whom ye crucified, whom God raised from the dead, even by him doth this man stand here before you whole.

11 This is the ^astone which was set at nought of you builders, which is become the head of the corner.

12 Neither is there ^asalvation in any other: for there is none other ^bname under heaven given among men, whereby we must be ^csaved.

13 ¶Now when they saw the boldness of Peter and John, and perceived that they were ^aunlearned and ^bignorant men, they marvelled; and they took knowledge of them, that they had been with Jesus.

14 And beholding the man which was healed standing with them, they could say nothing against it.

They spent 40 days being taught by the resurrected, glorified Savior, and then they received the gift of the Holy Ghost.

Marc recalled going to see Leontyne Price in concert when he was just a boy. She ended with an encore of the spiritual Who'll Be a Witness, and when she said "I'll be a witness for my Lord," and struck her chest, he was moved.

He challenged us all to remember that we have that same gift of the Holy Ghost. We can all be a powerful witness for the Lord.

Of all the good things that I heard at church today, this is the one that I most want to keep close to my heart.

Sunday thoughts

Last Sunday we had a bishop's youth fireside that was just fantastic. (Our internet went out and so I couldn't post about it then.)

The bishop invited a couple from our ward to come and speak to us – he specifically told them not to prepare anything, just to come and share an experience their family had recently.

The woman started by saying that years ago, she read a quote from (I think) Joseph F. Smith. Of course now I can't find it, but it was something like: A man who has not embarked on a serious study of the Book of Mormon is unfit for our Heavenly Father's kingdom. She was struck by this, and put it up on their fridge.

A couple of days later, she saw her 15-year-old son reading the quote while eating a snack. Over the course of the next couple of weeks, she noticed him reading the Book of Mormon. He read the whole thing, prayed about it, and received a witness of its truthfulness.

He later went on to serve a mission. After his mission, he was very interested in finding a young woman to marry. He dated for years, but he just never felt right about any of the women he dated. Finally, he was preparing to leave for medical school and was really feeling distressed. He decided he would go on a date every day (for several months) so that he would feel as though he had done everything he could. Ultimately, he left for med. school, unmarried and without any prospects.

In his program, study guides were distributed each Friday afternoon and tests were on Monday morning on the material received. Study groups would get together and work all weekend to prepare for the test. He told his group that he would work with them on Friday and Saturday, but that he would not be studying on Sunday. (His mother was so proud that he would make this decision when he was in a new place where he didn't know a soul and no one would know what he was doing.)

A girl in his group pointed at him and said, "I knew you were a church boy!"

In later conversations, he learned that she had longed for religion all her life. She dreamed of having a family that would pray and read scripture together. But, never having found that, she had started to give up on that dream and thought it would never happen for her. As she got to know this valiant young man, she learned that his family did indeed do those things, and a spark of hope was lighted within her.

He told her that although he really liked her, he would not date her because he was determined to be married in the temple, but they became great friends. Over the course of several months, his whole family developed relationships with the girl through email and Skype. She was baptized a couple of weeks ago, and his whole family flew out to attend the baptism.

Only time will tell if the two will get married. When his mother asked him about it, he said, "Well, I've waited 9 years, I don't see why I couldn't wait 1 more!"

I was so moved by this story. There are so many things I love about it:

I love that a mother has so much power to influence. I want to be a mother like that.
I love that that young man took the initiative to read the Book of Mormon on his own and gain his own testimony. I want to have sons like that.
I love that he did all he could to pursue his dream.
I love that he was truly a missionary just by living his life with integrity and doing what he knew was right.
I love that his family was all willing to get involved and befriend his friend.

The bishopric spoke about preparing to serve a mission and living by example. I only have 3 years until Max will be a missionary and I feel like I have so very much to do to help him prepare. This fireside gave me the motivation to get started!

Sunday thoughts

I have a lot of notes from Women's Conference – a lot of good fodder for Sunday thoughts. One of my favorite talks was the very first one, by Virginia Pearce (one of President Hinckley's daughters). I love to hear her speak.

She started out by introducing the theme of the conference, taken from Alma 37: By small and simple things are great things brought to pass. I love this scripture, and felt like the conference theme was just what I needed to hear.

• Keep is small. Keep it simple. Give it time.

• Our very smallness, our fragileness, allows God to work through us.

• Prayer is a small and simple practice by which great things are brought to pass.

• Prayer rests on the principle of faith.

• Prayer is an expression of agency, a deeply personal choice.

• When things are at their worst, they then become their absolute best.

• We must be washed off thoroughly by the storms of life before we can return to our God.

• All things shall work together for our good. (D&C 98:1-3)

• Pray that He will consecrate our performance, our trials, for our good.

• Even our past experience can be consecrated for the welfare of our souls.

• Through humble prayer, our will and the will of the Father can become one. It unifies us with the Lord.

• Praying for one another knits our hearts together in unity and love.

• Sometimes, through prayer, even our righteous desires are modified.

• The act of praying changes us – as we work through our feelings, make choices, submit.

• If we were to wait always for a clear answer, we would be wasting time. Pray in faith and move forward.

• When such a thing happens, you may want to express gratitude – it is a sign that the Lord has trust in you.

• If we pay attention, we will see that He frequently puts his signature on small events of the day:

I'm here.
I care about you.
Everything will work out.
Trust me.

• Even greater than the miracle of being able to manipulate life's events is the miracle of developing a relationship with our God.

• Prayer does call down the powers of heaven.

Sunday thoughts on Monday

I taught the combined YW Easter lesson yesterday.

I find it difficult to teach about the Atonement – it is so huge, so vitally important, and I really wanted them to feel the Spirit.

I think the lesson went pretty well, but the best parts were the very beginning and the very end.

Right before I started to teach, the bishop came in to thank the young women and leaders for coming to the service project we had on Saturday morning. While he was there, he shared some thoughts about Easter. He had arisen early to study the accounts of the Savior's suffering in Gethsemane, crucifixion, and resurrection in the four gospels. During his study, he was struck by the women in the Savior's life. He imagined how difficult it must have been for Mary, to witness the abuse that was heaped upon her son, to see him killed. When even Jesus's disciples fled, and Peter denied knowing him, the two Marys and Martha stayed, lending what support they could. And women were the first to see the resurrected Lord.

He encouraged us all to be women who follow the Savior, who are not afraid to know him, to testify of him. I loved his perspective, and he set just the right tone for my lesson. Everyone was listening with rapt attention.

Earlier that morning, I felt inspired to have us sing I Know That My Redeemer Lives at the end of the lesson. I finished 5 minutes early so that we would have time to sing all 4 verses. I love that hymn, and never can sing it without feeling more grateful for the Savior and his offering to us. It was a joyous thing.

So... I don't remember a whole lot about what came in the middle. But at least I know the beginning and the end were good!

Last year, when my grandmother died right before Easter, the celebration was deeper for me. I felt that Easter would never be the same for me again. I had a wonderful, happy day yesterday, thinking of the blessings of the Atonement and the resurrection.

I hope you had a beautiful Easter as well.

Sunday thoughts

We woke up today to a winter wonderland. In general, I enjoy a good winter wonderland. But not so much on April 3rd. (Even less so on the evening of April 3rd, when the snow has not melted as it should.)

Still, I love Conference weekend. Even when certain members of my family don't love it as much as I do and try my patience. Repeatedly. But it is a universal good to me, and so it is still good, even when all the circumstances are not perfect.

I took 24 pages of notes between yesterday and today.

As I am tired and tomorrow will be starting far too soon, I will only post the highlights of one of my favorite talks tonight.


David A. Bednar

• We can have a sudden recognition of light, as when we turn on a light in a dark room. Or we can witness the subtle, gradual discernment of light, with the slow lighting of the sky at sunrise.

• It is the same with revelation.

• The spirit of revelation should be operative in the lives of every man, woman and child who has received the gift of the Holy Ghost.

• The tools of the adversary can impair and eventually destroy our ability to recognize the Spirit. Each of us should pray and ponder what we should do to shun Satan's lures.

• The scriptures and the history of the church contain many examples of those who received revelation suddenly, completely.

• Most often, revelations gradually and gently distill upon our souls, as the dews from heaven. We are taught line upon line, precept upon precept.

• Some may think they fall short if they do not receive dramatic manifestations of revelation, but these are comparatively rare.

• Sometimes we receive revelation without recognizing exactly how or when we have received it (as a sunrise on a cloudy or foggy day).

• As we honor our covenants and strive to do good, we can be sure that God will direct our steps.

Sunday thoughts

Today is my mother's birthday.

When I think of the things my mother taught me, chief among them is to listen to the guidance of the Spirit.

She would frequently tell me specific instances when she was so glad she had followed his direction, and occasionally her disappointment that resulted from not responding to promptings.

One example: "Rats! I knew I should have bought butter when the Spirit told me to!"

I remember feeling a bit skeptical about such mundane direction, but later on I realized that she had instilled in me the conviction that Heavenly Father loves us individually and cares about even the smallest details of our lives.

Plus, she would pray with me over things like cheerleading tryouts. When she would take things like that to the Lord, I realized that I could ask for his help with absolutely anything and he would bless and direct me.

I am so blessed to have born of goodly parents.

I love you, Mom.

Sunday thoughts

Last Sunday, we had a special meeting where the Relief Society and Elder's Quorum leadership taught the young men and young women, and the y.m. & y.w. presidents taught the combined Priesthood and Relief Society. These meetings were scheduled in response to the concerns expressed recently in ward council about the youth.

I don't really know what was taught to the youth (Max said only that it was about preparing for the future and that it was good). But I do know that our meeting was great.

My thoughts today are from the talk given by our young men's president, which was based on Helaman 5:12:

And now, my sons, remember, remember that it is upon the rock of our Redeemer, who is Christ, the Son of God, that ye must build your foundation; that when the devil shall send forth his mighty winds, yea, his shafts in the whirlwind, yea, when all his hail and his mighty storm shall beat upon you, it shall have no power over you to drag you down to the gulf of misery and endless wo, because of the rock upon which ye are built, which is a sure foundation, a foundation whereon if men build they cannot fall.

(I absolutely love this scripture. How amazing would it be if the devil had no power over us? or over our youth? Clearly they need to build their foundation upon the rock of Christ.)

How do we help them to remember?

We are primarily to act and not merely be acted upon. Parents have the sacred responsibility to help their children to act. (Yikes. I'm not even sure I know how to do this.)

We can teach our children gospel principles every day, but until we get them to act upon them, they will not be able to build that strong foundation for themselves.

We should not be afraid to ask them to sacrifice, to do hard things. (He said that he actually prays for bad weather during things like campouts and trek because he knows the kids will be tested and he loves to see them step up and meet the challenge!)

When they do have that solid foundation, they will be better prepared to resist temptation, serve missions, and be spouses and parents.

When the Lord tells us to build on the sure foundation or the rock of our redeemer, keep in mind that foundations often need to be maintained. A foundation once made is not often able to withstand decades of use and abuse without maintenance. It is not sufficient to build our testimonies on the rock, but we need to maintain them – daily.

Also, this message from Boyd K. Packer was quoted in Sacrament Meeting:

"True doctrine, understood, changes attitudes and behavior.

"The study of the doctrines of the gospel will improve behavior quicker than a study of behavior will improve behavior. Preoccupation with unworthy behavior can lead to unworthy behavior. That is why we stress so forcefully the study of the doctrines of the gospel."

It seems clear to me that we need not worry endlessly about all of the different wrong choices our youth can make. We need to focus all of our energy on teaching them to follow the Savior, to put their trust in him, and to listen to the Spirit. If they will do that, they will want to choose the right.

Sunday thoughts

On Tuesday night, I was able to attend a stake Relief Society meeting called Women of Faith in Jesus Christ. There were several musical numbers and several speakers, all centered on the Savior and increasing our faith in him. It was a wonderful night, and I am so glad that I went.

• We need to renew our faith daily.
• The Lord loves us enough not to give us everything we ask for, but rather what we need in order to grow.
• God can calm the raging storms, but sometimes he lets the storms rage and calms us instead.
• Our pain is to help us to become more Christlike and to be able to serve and care for others.
• If we listen carefully, he will tell us what we should do. If we follow these promptings, we will be prepared to withstand the challenges we face. Each trial is dedicated to our refinement.
• Our backgrounds are as varied as our hairstyles. One thing we share in common is that we all shoulder great responsibilities. When we have faith in Christ, we are enabled to bear our responsibilities. He can shape the back to bear the burden.
• No matter who you are, no matter what your experience, the eyes of the Lord are upon you.
• We may not be called to do one great act, but rather consistent small acts of service – to act as the Savior would do.
• We don't know what life is going to bring us, but the Lord knows. Look to him.
• **If our lives are centered in Jesus Christ, nothing can ever go permanently wrong. But if they are not, nothing can ever go permanently right.** (I believe this with all my heart.)
  
• Righteous women rise above personal disasters by strengthening their faith.
• The world's greatest champion of women and womanhood is Jesus Christ. (This was so powerful to me.)
• Every woman who stands for truth and righteousness diminishes the power of evil.
• Every woman who makes and keeps sacred covenants becomes an instrument in the hands of God.
• Satan's plan is to get you so preoccupied by the distractions of the world that you forget what you were sent here to do.

I am convinced that we have meetings like this and that we are instructed to gather together often for people like me. I need frequent reminders. I need to be nudged to make changes. I need to feel the Spirit and be guided. I love gathering, listening, and singing with lots of other women. I need to renew my faith daily.

Sunday thoughts

These thoughts come from the last speaker we heard at Time Out For Women, Emily Freeman.

From 1 Peter 3:

10 For he that will love life, and see good days, let him refrain his tongue from evil, and his lips that they speak no guile:
11 Let him eschew evil, and do good; let him seek peace, and ensue it.

Rather than doubt our selves and our abilities, we need to hope.

• Laman and Lemuel came from the same family and had the same experiences as Nephi – but Nephi had a different perspective.
• When we have an eternal perspective, we invite hope into our lives.
• Are our thoughts filled with discouragement or with hope? Optimism is powerful.
• The highest form of perception comes when we discern the good.

List what you love. Lists can be powerful. "This is my joy." (Alma 26:37)

Give your heart great experiences (Ecclesiastes 1:16). An understanding heart makes all the difference.

Remember the good days.

• Moses wanted the people who had seen the mountain burning to remember that special day always.
  
• How do we remember the special days?
• As you contemplate these special experiences, do you not feel motivated to go forward in faith and hope?

Determine a reason for the hope which is in you.

• In times of grief, we seek after the giver of every good gift.
• "There is hope in thine end ..." (Jeremiah 31:17)
• The Savior was anointed with an oil of gladness.
• The Savior is the reason for the hope that is in us.

I am definitely prone to doubting myself and my abilities. I know absolutely that I need to replace discouragement with hope. The idea of giving my heart great experiences really speaks to me. Remembering the good days can only bring an increase of strength. But mostly, I love knowing that, no matter what our troubles and trials, there is always reason to hope because of the Savior. And hope is a beautiful thing!

**Today at church we found out that a woman in our ward suddenly died last week. She had just returned from serving a full-time mission with her husband. We all felt shock and loss. The prayers in all of our meetings asked for peace for her family. Her husband bore his testimony and praised God for his tender mercies. It was so powerful. Even in our deepest grief, there is reason to hope when we know the Savior and the Father's plan of happiness.

Sunday thoughts

These Sunday thoughts are brought to you yet again by Time Out for Women, this time from speaker Brad Wilcox. (He was amazing, by the way.)

Changing weaknesses into strengths

2 Ne. 25:23 It is by grace we are saved, after (in spite of, apart from) all we can do.

Grace doesn’t kick in when our energy is gone, it’s a constant source of energy and light that helps us through. We may experience his grace before, during, and after our own efforts.

Because God loves us, he accepts any offering, even when we know it is not our best.

He is much more concerned with the offerer than the offering.

What Mormon woman has mediocrity as her goal? Name one! (If we were talking to the Priesthood brethren, it would be a little different.)

*After all, what can we do?

We need to focus on the Savior’s sacrifice instead of our own offering to God. All of our doing has an end – to become.

Instead of asking if we have been saved by grace, we ought to ask if we have been changed by grace.

The miracle of the atonement is not just its power to return us home, it’s the power to transform us. We need to be cleansed so that we can stay in God’s presence, but we need to be changed so that we will want to stay. We will all go back to God’s presence. The question is: how long will we stay there? How comfortable will we be there? Heaven will not be heaven to those who have not chosen to become heavenly.

We are not earning our way to heaven, we are preparing ourselves to live there.

*After all we can do – me and the Savior, together.

D&C 123:17 Therefore, dearly beloved brethren, let us cheerfully do all things that lie in our power; and then may we stand still, with the utmost assurance, to see the salvation of God, and for his arm to be revealed.

We do not reach heaven by supplementing. We reach heaven by covenanting. It is a relationship that is greater than the sum of its parts.

If we see the Savior’s requirements as too much to ask, it’s only because we do not see things through the Savior’s eyes. The purpose of his requirements is change.

When we feel discouraged, we need to remember that we have Emmanuel – God with us. We have a good shepherd who seeks after us again and again, as long as it takes.

I find this all to be hugely reassuring. I have so many, many weaknesses. I know that I need that grace to help me to accomplish everything I do, and I love the idea of having constant access to energy and light. I love the thought that God is more concerned with the offerer than the offering, that is so hopeful! I so want to be transformed by the Savior's atonement. And I love knowing that even with all of my mistakes and weaknesses and foolishness, I can still be in the process of becoming one who is changed, and that the Savior will not give up on me. I find I need to be reminded of this again and again.

Sunday thoughts

The second speaker we heard at Time Out for Women was Heidi Swinton.


I should preface my notes by saying that I already had a testimony that Thomas S. Monson was the prophet, but by the end of her talk, I was doubly, triply convinced. It was powerful.

She and her husband were serving as a mission president and mother overseas when President Monson called, asking her to write his biography. He wanted her to start the next day, and said, "You're not too busy, are you?" Well, she felt plenty busy, but she wasn't about to contradict the prophet!

When we follow the prophet, our lives change.

When she asked President Packer to summarize President Monson's character, he said, "He's more Christlike than the rest of us."

President Monson came from humble beginnings. He came from a place where people had nothing – but they had each other. He learned from his earliest boyhood that people were more important than things.

What are our connections to each other? Do we make room in our lives and hearts for those who need to be rescued?

He once came upon his Primary teacher, sitting in the chapel, completely at the end of her rope with her rowdy class, just crying. He felt so badly for her, and asked what he could do to help. She responded that if he could just be reverent and set an example, she thought it might make a big difference (apparently, he was one of the offenders). He replied that he could, and once he fell into line, everyone else followed.

When he was a deacon, the members of his quorum found a dummy somewhere that they named Charlie. They entertained themselves by throwing Charlie in front of people, in front of cars, etc. to surprise and scare them. When the bishop found out about Charlie, he confiscated him. The deacons then sat in the back of the chapel, refusing to pass the sacrament until Charlie was returned! Finally, Tommy went forward, "because you don't put your own feelings ahead of what the Lord wants you to do." The others then followed.

Do we follow him?

After he was ordained an Apostle, he spent 20 years building relationships in Germany, trying to pave the way for missionary work there. He became good friends with one man and his wife. Once he felt impressed to call this friend and inquire about his wife, only to discover that she was in the hospital, gravely ill. It just so happened that he had a rare free weekend, so he flew to Germany to bless the woman in the hospital. Yet some of us have problems doing our visiting teaching. He puts people first.

Do we reach out and make a difference to someone who simply has a downcast face?
At one point, Heidi was overwhelmed by her task and didn't know how she could carry on. But when Pres. Monson asked how she was doing, she put on a brave face and said everything was fine. He persisted, asking several times how she was really doing, and she finally broke down and confessed her doubts. He said, "Here's what I can do to bear you up. I will pray for you every morning. Do you have the faith that your prayers combined with my prayers can make the difference?" Obviously, she did, and it did make the difference. Sometimes all we can do is join our prayers with another's, but it can definitely make a difference.

Somebody's hurting not too far from here. Do we have the faith and the selflessness to seek them out?

I am not doing this talk justice at all. All I can say is that I felt so strongly that President Monson was prepared from his boyhood to be a prophet of the Lord and I can't wait to read his biography.