Tuesday, September 22, 2009

one of those days

Today was one of those days when I just feel done. Done with living in Paris. Done with being a mother. Just done. If I could crawl under the covers tomorrow and stay there, I would.

You may be wondering what the cause for this disconnect might be. You may still be wondering that after reading this post. It wasn't anything really big, just a string of annoyances that pushed me over the edge:

-- Eva didn't want to go to the Musée Rodin. Whining. Of course she ended up enjoying herself, running all around the gardens.

-- Everyone was starving. We grabbed baguette sandwiches and pastries. Lucas wouldn't eat anything but a pain au chocolat and was then whining because he was still hungry. Whining because the water bottle they gave him wasn't cold. Welcome to Paris.

-- More whining due to lots of walking.

-- We went to our usual exit from the Jardin du Luxembourg, but it was padlocked because some men were re-painting the gold tips on the fence (I should have taken a picture of that). We went to the next exit. And the next. I have no idea how far we walked around just looking for a stupid exit. Then we had to backtrack all the way back to get to the gelato shop. Did I mention that I was sweating buckets and my feet and knees were hurting?

-- We finally got to the gelato shop and they didn't have vanilla today. Lucas whining. (Let's not forget that he is 10. years. old.) He ordered straciatelli (kind of like vanilla with chocolate flakes). I forgot to get him a cone and he got his gelato in a cup. Actual tears. He ate maybe half of it. It cost 4 euros!

While in the gelato shop, Michelle said that I a whine connoisseur. It's not a distinction I would like to claim, but sadly, it is very true.

-- Michelle and girls + Max went to go to the Musée d'Orsay. Lucas started crying after they left because he wanted to go, too. He told me earlier that he wanted to go home with me. What the? (In retrospect, I'm thinking he must have been exhausted. He has not been getting enough sleep and he was up with a night terror last night. At the time, all I could do was be completely exasperated with him.)

-- Eva, Lucas and I crossed the street to catch the bus that drops us off right in front of our apartment. The bus stop had a sign saying that, due to a demonstration, the bus was not running. At this point I nearly broke down and cried.

-- We walked a whole bunch of blocks to get to a metro station. As I was carrying the stroller down the stairs, my left knee hurt so much I feared I would stumble and fall, dropping the stroller. I made it.

-- Lucas saw a sign for another bus that goes to our apartment. We exited the metro and walked a couple of blocks to that bus stop.

-- We waited half an hour for the bus to come. !!@$?

-- When we finally, finally got home, I abandoned the kids and flopped on my bed, a sweaty, furious mess. I read, dozed, and eventually got my core temperature back down.

-- I had to go back out to get groceries for dinner. I had to wait in line for half an hour to buy my overpriced groceries, then come back to cook!

Only at 9:30 p.m., when Eva was in bed, the dishes were done, and I had taken my antidepressant, did I start to feel like I might possibly survive this day. Then I loaded the 79 photos I took today. Some days (many days, actually), it's only the photos that keep me going. Truly.

To that end:


Kristen, Lucas, and Nicole doing their own version of The Thinker's pose.




I love Rodin. Especially the way he did hands and feet.




A random French woman wandering around with a baguette in her bag.

EXACTLY how I felt at the end of the day. The end.

23 comments:

Jill said...

Formidable! What a terrible day! I'm so sorry about all the whining, the heat, the expenses and the walking!! I know I'd be a wreck from all of that and then feel frustrated from being a wreck! It's hard for the coldies to comprehend the torture of the overheated core body temperature. I often feel like I can't deal with anything until that comes down to a normal level.

That's a very cute picture of you and Michelle! I hope they're having a great time and getting to soak everything up. I am seriously scarred by the hoof fork and forgot to say so in your flea market post.

Rob said...

I LOVE the picture of the roses with the Eiffel Tower in the background! Very beautiful. _Diedre Gray

Elizabeth said...

Definitely reasons to be done at the end of the day. Hope the next one was better. Your photos are lovely and will most likely help you and your kids to just remember the good when you look back on your time there.

Kelly said...

This post is exactly why sometimes you can't let the pictures tell the story. Your photos show a perfectly lovely day -- so sorry they lied! I hope tomorrow is better, and that you are able to find some serenity. It's got to be hard to find "ordinary" and "normal" in your current circumstances, and sometimes those are just so comforting. Really cute picture of you and Michelle, by the way!

jenn said...

My kids have said to me, "Why don't YOU ever go to time out?" It's days like this that make me ask the same question! Why don't moms get time outs?!! It really is the mounting little things, more than the big ones, that do us in- I'm sorry for the rough day.

I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE the chairs photo! The flowers are beautiful too and your hair is SUPER cute in the photo with the other Michelle! But the chairs- oh. They make me happy.

Knowing I can't come to Paris, I see your beautiful photos and wonder if I could find more interesting things/photo opportunities here. Is home so hum-drum? I really wonder...

Michelle said...

What you did not mention was how unfailingly patient and wonderful you are with your children! And I know they have been exceptionally tired, as it is now 10:36 and only Eva is awake. Next time we find a locked gate, I'm climbing over!

Rebekah said...

I can sympathize with your transportation woes. I hate waiting for buses, I hate waiting for metros. And when you have to walk blocks and blocks just to get to a bus stop so you can wait 45 minutes just to sit on a crowded bus that's going to drop you off blocks away from where you need to be...Serenity freaking now. There is nothing easy about the mechanics of living in a city. Everything that you need to do in order to run your life is a chore.

Go with God, my sister. May all your buses and metros arrive on time today. I wish the same for myself.

April said...

The more I mother, the more I think that Nephi was chosen simply because he did not murmur. I think Laman and Lemuel's murmuring wore on their parents more than their outright rebellion. I'm sure of it in fact. It's only 7:59 in the morning there and I'm already "done" just because of the whining I've had to endure from the moment they woke up.

Does it help that I am LOVING every picture you take?

Bond Girl 007 said...

Oh Michelle you are probably recovered by now....I love RODIN just love it!!!! The pictures do tell a beautiful story, specially the ones with Michelles....!Don't dismay, it is harder sometimes to experience those things, when we have been accustomed sooo much to COMFORTS...that is the problem here, it is not necessarily that things are soo bad, it is just that we have had it sooo easy! and continue to do so, in so many aspects. Rodin was the best way to end your day there, I was just telling JORVIK about him and I said do you want to go and see him, and he said, SI VAMONOS AHORITA!.....go now....okay.....! You are a patient mother y a mi me consta!
take care.....better day tomorrow...and guess what? Le Vendredi, is coming just around the corner!

Amie said...

I love your sister in law's comment... she is right - you have to be one of the most patient mothers on the planet.

I hate these kind of days. It is so hard for me to see past it and not just lay down and cry.

Your pictures are awesome though... that does count for something. I love how you write and with all of your pictures I feel like I am on a vacation too.

Esther said...

Love the pictures!!! Thank you for sharing considering then day you had.

You could turn some of these into post-cards...they are beautiful.

Elisa said...

Whining does that to me too. I could be in paradise and whining would ruin it for me. It. Makes. My. Head. Explode.

but...the pictures are so lovely.

Liz said...

Sounds like it was an exasperating day!! For the record, I don't even have to be living in Paris (although it would be nice) to have a day where I am just done with it all. Being a mother is the toughest, hardest job in the world. I hope your knees feel better, that you get a nice cool breeze the next few days, and that the bus will be right on time the next time you need it!

Sean said...

Nice photos. I hope your day got better :)

Price Cream Parlor said...

Kelly said it perfectly - with just the photo essay we would have thought you had a stunning day.
Good to know that it isn't just my littles that whine even when we are not home and doing something fantastic (although we have never left the country!!)

I wish you a great night sleep and a joyful day of bliss tomorrow.

What a grand adventure in another land... (I heard that cheese is a great companion to WHINE! ha!)

Bond Girl 007 said...

hey, remember REAL LIFE is tough even if you are in PARIS

crystal said...

I love Claudia's comment above. So true, mon amie Claudia! Le sigh.

Note to self for Michelle: Prozac (or in my case, Zoloft) is the breadfast of champions! Take it in the morning--preferably with a guzzle of Diet Coke :)

crystal said...

BREAKFAST. Not breadfast.

Although a little bread for breakfast never hurts.

It's 2:10am Utah time. Can you tell? I think I'm incoherent even though I'm feeling witty.

Goodnight.

patsy said...

I can't believe I haven't commented here...

I hate dealing with unruly kids in public with heat on top of that- I don't do heat... very well.

It's supposed to start cooling down here next week- it's gotta do the same there, right?

If it makes you feel any better- you look great in the photos!!!

Neighbor Jane Payne said...

"I read, dozed, and eventually got my core temperature back down." This is a great word visual of a volcano ready to erupt or a pot ready to boil over. The picture at the end is a clincher.

Good thing September 23, 2009 will never come back again. Never.

shannon said...

The statue at the end is exactly how I felt too after reading the account of your day...

Jane put it well...Sept. 23, 2009 will never come back again!

This was a "Serenity now" kind of day for sure!

KellyClark said...

Hello Michelle,

I've been enjoying your blog of some time now. I always love your photography. Our kids are around the same age.

I thought I'd share an interesting fact, Rodin had trouble with sculpting hands and feet. Camille Claudel, his apprentice/mistress, did most of his sculpting, even on the famous pieces. I once did a huge research project on this after seeing the movie, Camille Claudel. Watch it, you'll love it, I swear!

Amanda said...

I am 'done with' being a mother on days less stressful that this!

It seems though with all the whining/walking/tiredness you are still having a grand adventure and seriously those pictures are SPECTACULAR. Definitely worth a crappy day.

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