Monday, August 17, 2009

hello, binky

Remember how we were paid a visit by the binky fairy about a month ago? Well, to my dismay, the binky has been returned.

{not this diamond-studded version, of course! Because we didn't have an extra $17,000 to throw around...}

The onset of Eva's extreme fears coincided pretty closely with the removal of the binky. We kept thinking that, with a few more days, she would get a handle on things. That her "nibbly blankie" would be enough of a security object to make up the difference. That the long string of prayers and constant reassurance would finally convince her that she is indeed safe in her room.

Instead, her anxiety seemed only to escalate with every passing day until common, everyday noises like cars driving by could send her into a panic, even during her waking hours. A few days ago when I was trying to calm her down and get her to take a much-needed nap (to counteract the multiple night wakings she has every night), she got so upset she started clawing at her face and arms.

Marc went out and got a new binky that night.

I hate that we're back to it. I feel rather defeated. But I was ready to admit that perhaps she wasn't ready to give it up. Maybe the imminent move to another country has her more spooked than we realized. I have no idea what's going on in that mysterious mind of hers. All I know is that I am exhausted and I hope it works. Soon.

16 comments:

Jill said...

Oh my goodness, I really hope it works because this strange turn of events is not to be believed or endured! I don't know how you're functioning!

Tasha said...

Wow Michelle. I guess this must be one of those things where you pick your battles. Remember when I was supposed to be patching Evie's eye, and she was 3, still in diapers, I was about to have a baby and we were about to move across country? Well, she wore diapers for 6 more months, we got the patch on some of the time, and the glasses on some of the time, but I didn't bind her arms the way the doctor suggested. It just wasn't the right time. I felt totally defeated. She was this HUGE kid with a googly eye in diapers, but there are worse things, right? I mean a 17K binky is pretty slammin right? So if she still needs one when she has that kind of cash, well then...

patsy said...

hey- I hope it works...

I'm not ready to give up my binky either-
You did the right thing- this next month or two will be extra hard for her without it.
motherhood is not for wimps!

Liz said...

Oh dear, and here I thought you were going to say someone sent you this fab binky. I sure hope the binky helps save your sleep and your sanity before this big move to Paris. I can relate to the repeated night wakings...our 7 year old goes through cycles of sleeping great and then coming in our room every.single.night at least 3-4 times every.single.night. It is absolutely the hardest thing to function when you get your sleep interupted that many times. And yet, it seems to cause her no problems whatsoever. Not fair!

Jen said...

oh how i see taegen in this future. that boy loves his binky. i wish i had helpful advice- but k never took one, so i'm at a loss. the only thing i can think is she'll lose it when she's good and ready. we tried FOREVER to potty train kellen- he was ALMOST FOUR and then suddenly one day he started doing it- we never used another diaper and never had any accidents. he was just ready. children.

good luck! and wow- i need that much bling in my life! :)

Amy said...

If it's any consolation, I think you made the right choice. It just simply wasn't the right time. Oh, and for further consolation--I had my binky until I was 4 and I think I turned out ok! ;)

charlotte said...

Clawed at her face and arms?! Oh my. I hope the return of the binky helps and that on the next binky fairy try, you're successful!

Hannah said...

Oh my. I wonder if her world was rocked sharing her room with Bella and then the move coming up. I would have done what you did. Totally. Sorry you have to go through it though. Hope the nights have been better...

Crystalyn said...

Imagine my surprise to come upon this just after giving Thomas a binky. Literally 10 minutes ago. This after them being gone for the whole summer. An entire summer!...of him waking up several times a night crying and Dave and I being chronically sleep deprived. And lately he's been sucking his fingers and hands. I just got desperate after him waking up from his nap screaming unconsolably. If it helps him sleep through the night like he used to I don't care how long he uses it anymore.

Good luck with Eva. I hope it does the trick for her...and you ; ). I'm thinking of you!

Marie said...

my middle child is the only one who had any interest in a binky...but she held on to hers til she was four. She gradually used it less and less and finally it went away, she'd 14 now so I don't really remember how that finally ended and can't offer any wise words except that the binky did go away permanently about 10 years ago!

Susan said...

What took you so long?!

I'm afraid I would have given in within days....

Good luck! I'll be waiting for the reports.

Kristy said...

I think you're right to give back the binky. She'll give it up when she's ready and if not, you can try again next summer. Everybody needs their rest and if she was being that scared without it, then she needs it and you're doing the right thing as a mom to soothe her and give her what she needs! Don't feel defeated.

jenn said...

It's so weird to think a binky can be so calming but I'm with the other commenters- whatever works to get you all some sleep and some sanity!! (And for the record- if I had a diamond studded one like the picture, I would never give it up!)

Another thought- M&M's and chocolate cake around 10pm might just be my adult version of a binky! Apparently we never outgrow the need to be comforted!

shannon said...

I'm trying to picture Ellie walking around with a binky right now (she and Eva are around the same age) and I shudder! I feel your pain, my friend...but I say, let her find her level of comfort for now...the anxiety of the upcoming move could be playing a part, who knows...but just hang in there...

everything pink! said...

just think no matter what you she probably won't be wearing to high school graduation.

rebekah said...

Yikes. I would buy her all the binkies in the world if it would put an end to these night terrors. I don't know if I'll be an effective parent, I cave to easily!

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