Our book club recently read The Kite Runner. (I hope Amy will post her review, because she writes so eloquently and articulately about books!) This was one of those books that I wasn't naturally drawn to and might not have read if not for book club.
It was disturbing and even a little difficult to read at times, but well worth it because of the love, honor, and redemption that it contains. It portrays a depth of loyalty -- in friendship and in family -- that was very moving to me. It gave me a new appreciation for Afghanistan, and for the plight of immigrants.
But most of all, it made me think about forgiveness. How quick am I to forgive others? or harder yet, myself, for my own follies and shortcomings? This is my favorite quote from the book:
I slipped the picture back where I had found it. Then I realized something: That last thought had brought no sting with it. Closing Sohrab's door, I wondered if that was how forgiveness budded, not with the fanfare of epiphany, but with pain gathering its things, packing up, and slipping away unannounced in the middle of the night. (page 359)
I found that passage to be so beautiful. To me, that's exactly what it feels like when forgiveness arrives on the scene, kind of taking me by surprise by the lack of pain or resentment that was there before. How did I not notice it gradually going away?
What is your experience with forgiveness?
14 comments:
I love that quote, and remember reading it and thinking "yes, that's how it really is." It's hard to forgive because there's some comfort in hanging onto the wrong, but it's so liberating when you wake up one day and realize that sting is gone.
Forgiveness is somthing I really struggle with, I know I'd feel a lot more peace in my life if I was quicker to forgive. I'm good about forgiving friends and acquaintances but family members is so much harder. I don't know why that is.
I really like that quote, it does describe the feeling perfectly.
I have had this book on my shelf for a long time. After reading your post, I think I'll pick it up :) Great quote, I'm with Jill. Sometimes it is so satisfying (in a twisted way) to hang on to the hard feelings. So much healthier to forgive and move on!
I've had various experiences with forgiveness and I don't know why it surprises me every time, but I re-realize how much easier it is once you just let go. Sometimes forgiveness comes gradually and other times I've made a more conscious decision, but every time I'm so relieved and I love the lightness of it. I ask myself "why didn't I do that sooner?" I guess it's a lesson that needs to be learned over and over: forgiveness is so liberating in so many ways and I wonder why it's so hard sometimes.
that was one of my favorite quotes too! I had several pages marked that I never looked at that night- are our discussions getting shorter? maybe we are trying to squeeze too much into one night and should get together more often! :)
I'm often quick to forgive the arguments or so called "little things." It's quite rare, but when I have felt hurt repeatedly by someone or really felt they disregarded my feelings I have had the need to really forgive. It is then that I really have to pray to learn to love and serve them in order to forgive. It's an interesting, challenging process of being humble enough to realize I'm usually just as weak and need to see past our differences.
You know how much I LOVED this book, and it isn't an easy book to love. I love this quote as well. I know that I have had moments where one day I can remember every little tidbit of a painful experience, but the next day- it is gone. I have gone back in my memory to remember exactly when those memories left me and can't. I LOVED this book, because of how beautiful it described and demonstrated forgiveness.
Good, good quote! I have to tell myself a lot of the time that it isn't hurting the other person for me to remain unforgiving- I am the one who is thinking and suffering through it while they go about their business. It is kinda satisfying to hold onto the feeling- but a huge weight is lifted when I do finally let it go.
forgiveness...I think it is trying to make it not about you...when you are less selfish I think that is when forgiveness lets its wonders in! and you are ready to rip the benefits
Sorry Michelle that was me.
Cool quote! Right now I am listening to a book called "The Peacegiver". It's amazing. If you haven't read it you should. It has really changed everything I thought about forgiveness and the atonement.
I think that you are also very eloquent in your writing. Very well said. I loved reading this book.
Sometimes I think I'm too quick to forgive. No, that sounds wrong. It's that I'm good at sweeping wrongs under the rug and ignoring them. Sometimes I think forgiveness should be a struggle. There has to be a conscious aspect to forgiveness-even if it is only a consciousness that you have forgiven, though you don't know exactly how or why. It's part of the epic battle between the natural man and that which is divine in us. When we forgive the divine wins and we get a little closer to God.
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