So can somebody please tell Lucas that? If I would let him, he would eat peanut butter and honey sandwiches for every meal of his life. And not just any peanut butter and honey -- oh no, he's far pickier than that! It has to be Adam's natural peanut butter and creamed honey. (We've actually tried other natural peanut butters and he could tell the difference, and don't even consider trying to get liquid honey by him.)
If it's bread or bread-related, Lucas likes it. Bagels, good. Muffins, good. Waffles, good. Crackers, good. If it has any color to it, Lucas probably does not like it. He will deign to eat baby carrots and broccoli, as long as they are raw, and occasionally gives in to a few apple slices or a little slice of watermelon. That's it for fruits and vegetables! He won't even try any others. And no, he won't drink smoothies either. The only thing he's got going for him is that we've switched to a whole-grain bread and he takes a vitamin to prevent scurvy.
A few months ago, I decided enough was enough and I was sick of catering to my picky eaters. (Max is picky also but not nearly as bad as Lucas. At least he loves all fruits and will try new things.) I had had it with making different dinners for us and the kids, and decided that they would just have to eat what we were eating or nothing at all. Of course, I made sure there was at least something they liked as part of the meal, and then instituted a new rule where they had to at least taste the rest.
It seems perfectly reasonable to me, but you would have thought I'd instituted a new rule of torturing Lucas before bedtime. He dawdled, he whined, he complained, he cried, and we did what we could to reassure him and show him that it was no big deal, just a tiny bite... until finally he took the little taste and made himself start to throw up, which upset Max so much he had to leave the table. Three nights in a row. Good grief.
Other moms who have been through this reassured me that I just needed to be persistent, that he would eventually get over it and give in, but I'm not so sure. My kids seem to have an iron will. We did end up giving up for awhile because, although I was willing to keep at it, Marc was not, and I could see that nothing would be accomplished without a unified front. I have a friend who has a modified rule: if her kids at least try what they're served for dinner, but then they don't like it, they can have a snack later before bed. If they won't try it, they go to bed hungry. I'm wondering if I could get that to work.
Anyone have any great ideas for dealing with extremely picky eaters? Please don't tell me that I should have never given them a choice from the very beginning, because it's obviously too late for that and I don't really need any more guilt in my life. Also please don't tell me to give them something to dip foods into -- my kids reject any and all dips.
It doesn't help that I've never been picky and I love to cook. I am a good cook and I honestly can't understand why they wouldn't like these foods. I'm growing increasingly desperate and swore to myself I wouldn't let Eva turn into a food monster -- now she is rejecting more and more foods and I struggle to get her to eat anything at all. Help!
11 comments:
Great post. And yes, you are not alone!
My Jared will not eat anything for lunch but homemade strawberry jam with peanut butter. I too often wonder if he is going to get sick of it. He too will whine, cry, make a gagging noise, plug his nose just to try something at dinner.
The rule we have for eating is they have to at least try it in order to leave the table. (maybe extreme and yes Jared has sat there for 2 hours before) But at least they do try it.
As far as Taylor goes she was extremely picky at one time now she pleasantly will try new things. The only time I will cater to my kids dinner if its a dish that is too spicy for them to eat. Otherwise..they have been known to go to bed hungry. Maybe I'm harsh, but thats just what works for us.
Good luck....I promise he will grow out of it! (My oldest finally did)
Michelle,
I have no idea. I think all of your plans sounded reasonable, and that you are right, it has to be a unified front, whatever it is going to be.
Mostly, just wanted to offer support because I've heard what a wonderufl cook you are, so lets hope its a stage to be grown out of.
What if he had some things that he could prepare himself if he refused the meal you cooked? Like "Here is what we are having for dinner, I'm not making anything else, but you know where the x,y,z is if you want to make it for yourself." Or having him help you meal plan? I don't know, maybe lame ideas.
I would suggest sticking with your plan of making the boys try one bite of what you're having and then letting them have a sandwich after that bite, but that's difficult if Marc isn't supportive of this idea. I guess your plan of multivitamins and enriched bread will have to do.
I feel for you. My first has been a picky eater so far. It's getting better over time as I have persisted and required him to try three bites of his main course. However, I'm usually satisfied if he'll eat whatever vegetable I'm serving with it. If I get several bites of carrot or broccoli down him a day I'm satisfied. He doesn't do fruit either. Weird. He's never in his life eaten a bowl of cereal with milk! Are you keeping it really basic? I figure if it's things like basic chicken enchiladas, meatloaf, tacos, spaghetti, etc and I offer it with a basic veggie like broccoli, cauliflower or carrots that it's not truly torture to make them eat it. It's not like I'm offering him bread pudding or pork chops with thick gravy or anything. These are generally likeable foods for kids.
I hear you sister, my son is a very very picky eater. And I feel like I can't blame him because I was the same way as a kid. I would have lived on Lynn Wilson burritos if my parents had let me. But our rule is he has to at least try it. If he doesn't like it he doesn't have to eat it, but he doesn't get anything else afterward, snacks, treats, dessert, etc. This usually makes him finish off some. He'll say how many more bites do I have to eat and I'll make up a number and he'll to that to get a treat. Who knows why kids are like this, beats me. Keep strong and definitely don't let him play you against your husband.
So sorry Michelle. I know growing up that my mom put an end to the picku eating. These are a few things I remember her doing:
One night a week each kid would get to help make a meal. It seemed like everyone was willing to try a meal made by mom and whoever. Plus the person who helped always ate a lot of their meal and would pressure everyone else to eat it.
We had to eat the same number of bites as our age. So like 6 bites if you were 6 years etc.
We always had water with dinner unless we were willing to eat whatever she cooked. I guess we would fill up on koolaid or milk if that was there.
We ate dinner or we didnt eat. That was just the rule. I remember after a night or two in a row of only eating my 5 bites that I was always starving in the morning. I wasn't a huge picky eater, so I guess I learned that I needed to eat. And my parents would always tell us the next morning that we wouldn't be so hungry if we ate more etc.
Good luck my friend!
I'm just glad I'm over all that! And remember, turn first the prayer! Remember the green bean incident with Jessie? Good luck. I;ll pray.
I'm not the best person to answer this question because I too am a picky eater, even now. I grew out of some of my pickiness, but just ask any member of my family and they will tell you of my bizarre and sometimes freakish taste preferences. As Max and Lucas grow older though, you can make it so that if they want something else, they have to make it themselves, which isn't SO bad. Mom does the "try everything once" thing with Sarah and after a while it worked a little better. Good luck and I'm sure they can't be so picky forever!
Sorry no advice. It sounds like you have tried everything I would be able to think of to do.
Good luck!
I have picky eaters as well and it drives me crazy. I will be reading the advice and hopefully learn something. I am sick of the tears ever time I make a meal. It's one of the reason why I hate doing it now.
No adivce, I'm right there with you. I keep trying to tell myself that Kaitlin's so picky because she's grown accustomed to eating fast/restaurant type food, even at home. Lately Kaitlin's instant reaction to any food, even one's she's liked in the past, is, "I don't like it!" Yesterday I had to grate cheddar cheese for dinner. I grated a little too much, so I put it in a little bowl and tried to give it to Kaitlin. After the instant reaction I persuaded her to try one bite. Of course then she ate it and asked for more. Cheese is one of Kaitlin's favorite foods.
A while ago I posted about this. I think it was Hannah who told me to try reverse psychology. Yeah, that didn't work. Whatever I said Kaitlin simply agreed with. (Why is she so stiking smart?)
So, like I said, no advice, just sympathy. And keep the vitamins going. It's the only way Kaitlin doesn't start to look like one of those famine vicitms in Africa. Well, that and peanut butter and honey. We're pretty big on that here too.
Oh, wait, I just had an idea! Maybe if you can make things in sandwich form he'd eat. Have you ever seen one of those hot sandwich makers? You put stuff between bread and cook it. Or quesadillas? Do your kids like tortillas? I was watching Rachael Ray yesterday. She said that if you put anything into a cheese filled tortilla kids will eat it. Ok, I know that's a really oversimplified statement, but you get the point. Maybe you could sneak some foods in through cheese.
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