seconds of humble pie (a big helping)

I went visiting teaching again this week. I am just amazed by my companion, and even more amazed by how quickly I've come around. I came home feeling like, "I love her! I can't believe it! Just a month ago, I was actively annoyed by her, and now I love her!" I've discovered that a little humility can go a long way, even when it's forced on you. :)

I really wish I had had a chance to blog about this right away, because I know I've forgotten a lot of the experience already. But here's what I remember. My companion's son-in-law was in a serious motorcycle accident about 3 weeks ago. He was driving her husband's motorcycle, was not insured, going about 80 mph and ran into another vehicle. Much of his head was shattered and he sustained a lot of damage to his hands, as well. He was taken by life flight to the University of Utah hospital, where he was treated for severe injuries and lapsed into a coma. He came out of the coma a few days ago, has had several surgeries, and was finally able to come out of the ICU on Sunday. The hospital staff considered moving him to a hospital in Utah Valley so he could be closer to his family, but ultimately decided he needed to remain at the U of U so that their brain, hand, and eye specialists could keep close watch on him.

However, there was a strange turn of events on Sunday evening. The hospital received confirmation of the patient's lack of insurance, as well as the fact that he would not be getting help from Medicaid or Medicare. For reasons unknown, the hospital decided they could no longer treat him and they were going to discharge him on Tuesday. At this point, the woman we were visiting and I exchanged a horrified glance. We got worked up to a sort of frenzy of righteous indignation -- how could they do that? Hospitals treat patients without insurance all the time! Don't they have to help him? They just said he wasn't well enough to be transfered to another hospital, now they are saying he can just go home?! etc. etc.

Gradually, we realized that my companion wasn't participating in this heated conversation at all. She just calmly sat there. You know my curiosity was piqued. We asked her how she could remain so calm in the face of this outrageous turn of events. She replied that they had fasted and prayed as a family that they would be strengthened and able to endure this trial well, and now she was sitting back and ready to watch the Lord's plan unfold. She has complete trust that it's in His hands, and that even though it seems strange to them and it's not how they would choose for it to happen, she believes that He must have something better in mind. In fact, she said she is excited to see what the Lord's plan is for this situation.

Now I've heard people say things like this before, mostly in days of yore, or perhaps the words were spoken by a prophet. It sounded good in theory, but it didn't seem all that realistic to me. But here was a real live person saying them -- to me -- and it's not even a hard-won realization she's come to in hindsight at the end of her trial; no, this trial is just beginning. And the thing is, she was completely and utterly committed and sincere. I felt, just for a moment, as if I had had a glimpse right into her soul. I'm sure this betrays the depth of my lack of faith, but I guess I never thought I'd actually know someone able to exercise faith to this degree. She not only trusts in the Lord and believes He is at the helm, but she believes it so completely that she is not stressed, she has laid her burden at His feet, and now is just calmly watching and waiting. (Just imagine how much worry and strife we could save ourselves if we were truly able to lay our burdens and stresses down like that.)

Since receiving the potentially devastating news of her son-in-law's impending release, she has spent her time doing what she wants to place the highest priority on: preparing a meaningful FHE lesson for her family, going visiting teaching, spending time talking with her daughter and caring for her grandbaby so that her daughter would be free to visit her husband. I was just stunned by her whole demeanor. Serenity in the face of seeming disaster -- I wouldn't have thought it possible.

We told her how impressed we were by her attitude and that she was an inspiration to us, and an example of truly living her faith. This is where it really got interesting. She said that she used to be a real worrywart and kind of had a bad attitude in general. After hearing the very woman we were visiting talk about the power of keeping a gratitude journal (oh, maybe 10 years ago), she was inspired to give it a try, in hopes that it would help her improve her attitude. Thus began a journey of change. She compared herself to Mary Magdalene and said, "I think I can be a real example to others, mostly people who have known me for a long time, because if the Lord can change me as much as He has, just think what he can do for everyone else!"

She told us she loved us to our souls and she was so grateful for everything we have done for her. Now I have a cynical streak, and I'm the first person to scoff at something like that. She doesn't even really know me, for heaven's sake, and I can't say that I've ever done anything for her. I started to say this (in gentler terms), but she stopped me. She said, "Michelle, it's not so much what you've done as who you are. The Lord loves you because of who you are, and so do I." I know as well as anyone how cheesy this all sounds. The thing is, I knew absolutely that she meant it, 100%. And I have to tell you, it really resonated with me. I started to envision how much this principle could help me with parenting my type A eldest son, who feels he is never nice enough, never smart enough, never good enough, no matter how much we try to convince him otherwise.

But I digress. The point is, (gosh, I wonder if anyone is still reading this tome?) this is a woman I didn't want to be assigned to teach with. Truth be told, I would have been happy to have nothing at all to do with her. Now I feel as though my association with her will end up changing my life. I have to ask myself: how many times will I have to have experiences like this before I will stop being surprised?