Friday, July 07, 2006
a little fear
During these past, largely home-bound days, I've had a little fear developing. What if my family and friends decide they like me better on my blog than in person? Mock not. When blogging, I decide to some extent what I choose to portray about myself and my life. I have time to compose my thoughts. I express my feelings with more ease. What if, in person, the boring component of my beigeness overshadows all else? I think it's entirely possible, and not a little worrisome...
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25 comments:
What are you talking about? Why do you let these crazy thoughts come in? All of your have friends have known and loved you for years before your blog, so what are you thinking?
I don't know of anyone who expresses themselves the same as they do in writing all the time. My thoughts aren't nearly as coherent or smooth when I speak them; they sound much better when I write them, but regardless of how you express yourself, through blogs or in person, you're still the same kind, genuine, wonderful Michelle we all know and love! You're not beige to me!
hey michele, we'll always love you for who you are. even if we only get to see you every so often.
and to drive at 15 in texas if you have a drivers permit or a provisional license. i don't have any of these but since we live in the country i can drive in our 2.5 acre feild and occasionaly on the road. illeagaly
This is more about blogging friends, vs people that have known you for years.
Blogging people get to see you at your "finest" (in terms of thinking through your thoughts), but they also get to know you on a more intimate level than the people you have contact with everyday. So- I think that is a postitive thing.
Don't worry- Everyone loves you regardless of your blog. You have also gotten to know several people that you might not have met.. like me and I think you are totally cool.
I agree with Jill, what are you talking about?!?! I 'met' you first through your blog and now after being around you a handful of times I would say that I enjoy you even more in person. I think you have the greatest laugh ever and loved that I got to sit next to you while opening the blog party gifts. You are so not beige to me, and even if you were, I like that color, it goes with everything!
OK, now I'm feeling a little sheepish about this post. I wasn't looking for positive reinforcement, more like fishing for someone to say they felt the same way or knew what I was talking about. Apparently, none of you do. So, I'm sorry I came off so self-pitying. Feel free to give me a virtual smack.
I've only been around you a few times, but I must say you are one of those people that instantly attract people to them. I love your blog and have enjoyed getting to know you through it.
Michelle! It will never happen! I love being around you.
Michelle- I actually think about that sometimes as well. I have actually been communicating with some of your blogging buddies/real-life friends (like Jill and your sister) and I always think, "Would they like me in person? Or would they be like, 'Who is this weirdo'?" I'm not sure if that is similiar to how you are feeling at all, but blogging is kind of bizarre in general... also, beige people probably do not even worrying about being beige, or others thinking that they might be. It's like that old saying, if you think you're crazy, you're probably not, because crazy people don't know they're crazy... does that make sense?
I just laugh when you call yourself beige and imply that beige is boring!
I do relate to the anxiety over being liked more on your blog than in person- although SICK about missing the party, there was some relief that I didn't have to be whatever it is people think I am after reading my blog! I am not amazing, I am a whiner and would die without my girlfriends to listen to my babbling!
SO, be glad you have such an amazing self documented on your blog and remember that means at least some of the time, you are NOT boring!
Yeah- you're crazy.
Just repeat after me: You are like dad. WE love dad. Dad id not boring. Dad is great. SO are you.
And Hannah raises a good point- Beige DOES go with everything, so even IF you are beige, you are the kind the kind of person that goes with everyone. Everyone likes you and wants to be with you because you are such good and easy company. You're not the kind of person like some that people tire of because you're too much. You're just enough. :)
Michelle - I know how you feel. I have told Jill several times that she better tell if she is rolling her eyes or thinking "give me a break" while reading my blog. I try to be real and at the same time not totally negative. Anyway, I am not saying this very well....but...I want it to be an accurate representation of who I am and sometimes I am not sure how well I am doing at that.
I also think you are even better in person - so no worries.
My first response was, "Sick!" (a family phrase used sort of like the verbal equivalent of rolling your eyes, for the rest of you out there.) However, my second response is to say that, I understand how you feel, even if the rest of us can't imagine why you feel so "beige." I also understand the need to express those thoughts, and I don't think you're in a self-pity mode! I agree with Jessie about you being like your Dad--embrace it!
Michelle,
I have never met you in person so I don't have much of a say on this, but I can tell you. That I know you must give as much love, listening, understanding, and warmth that you give in your posts to me. I can't believe that you responded to all my posts from while you were gone. That is not something you can fake, nor something that can go away. Yes you might be shy just to walk up and talk to someone, but what if you pretended like they were a blog. No self doubt, believe what you see and hear, that is the truth, anything other is someone (satan) trying to take away your happiness, don't let him. there are 15 people who love you and responded, and I haven't even met you. Can we fix that.
I think I understand where you're coming from and maybe that's one of the reasons I don't have a blog, I don't know that I have much to say, but let me loose on someone elses blog and I'll happily comment away.
I do feel that I have found a whole new circle of friends and have gotten to know them more quickly without all the hangups of prejudging someone (which I am really bad about) and in this circle I find that I am not alone in some of my thoughts, frustrations and struggles. Your blogging friends weep with you, cheer you on, give you words of encouragement and can reach through to give you a virtual hug or "slap".
I thoroughly enjoy my reading and thanks again.
Michelle I don't think I know you in person, but the day I do, I will surely know you! and that is a wonderful thing!
one more thought...so far what I have seen--nothing is beige...and as for beige I LOVE BEIGE on clothes...like tomy bahama...etc., etc., so either way!
Some of us have known you a bit prior to the blog. I think the blog merely adds enrichment to the relationship. A way to have ongoing communication and insight for those of us who are far away. I just read you comments of Max and his birthday. Your comments regarding Max remind me so much of you....first born, mature, bright, loves to read, perceptive and sensitive. Hmmm..seems that Max takes after his mother!! (I think BEIGE is highly under-rated).
Beige. Hmmmm. To me you're not. I loved Dad's comments and everyone elses. In person, you are the one to emulate in most ALL ways! As for your blog, well, I couldn't even think of being able to emulate that! Your skills in amost everything surpass mine and I admire you for them all. Your steadiness and ease to be around is one of the finest things to "own" . Grandma has said so many times and I must agree each time she says it, "there is no one who is easier and nicer to be around than Michell" (unless it's Dad, of course!) I hope to attain a bit of beige in my own life sometime. I love you.
Sadly, I have had similar thoughts except they focus more on the beigeiness of my real life! I love reading your blog but I love being with you in person way more!!!
I love the comments of your oh so wise and insightful parents.
I'm with jill on this one. Your crazy. Blogging has only validated what we know is true. You are full of many colors. You are awesome.
correction! I have met you briefly! but only to enrich this even more--next time I see you we will have so much more to talk about!
Wow, am I ever slow on the commenting this week!
But Michelle, in a way, I feel where you were coming from on this post. Sadly, I am often second guessing myself and they way people perceive me, both in my blog and in person.
But I can assure you, you are wonderful in both regards (: It is so much fun to be around you, and to read your thoughts through your blog.
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