Max, my firstborn child, was born on June 24th, 1995. He turned 11 this year! I know all moms say this, but I can hardly believe that much time has passed since his birth. I remember it like it was yesterday. It was a very long and difficult labor, and he had some birth trauma that necessitated a week-long stay in the NICU. After he was finally born, I was so completely overwhelmed with the realization that mothers everywhere and throughout time had experienced what I had just been through. My esteem for all mothers rose inestimably that day. I also felt astounded that Marc and I created this wonderful new being. What an incredible, transformative experience.Max has been a challenging child to raise since the day he came to us. He doesn't require much sleep. He is the biggest perfectionist I have ever seen. He puts so much pressure on himself to do everything right -- failure is excruciating for him. He wants to please people so much that he tends to ignore his own needs and wants at times. But he is also a delight. He is so bright, loves to read, and has a great vocabulary. In true firstborn fashion, he is mature for his age and great company. He has a fun sense of humor and is a terrific big brother to Lucas and Eva. He is amazingly perceptive and sensitive. I hope I can do right by him as a mother and help him to channel all his energies in positive ways. He has taught me a lot about patience and he certainly keeps life interesting!
Max has been planning this birthday party since his birthday last year! We took Max and 7 of his friends to the Christa McAuliffe Space Center. It's an elementary school in Pleasant Grove where they have created several space mission simulations. He went to a birthday party and a school field trip there and he thinks it's the greatest thing ever. It was pretty great for me, too, since we just dropped the kids off and picked them up 2 1/2 hours later! Easiest party I've ever planned! He also wanted to get the Midnight Delight ice cream cake from Cold Stone Creamery. Even though I love to bake cakes, it was kind of nice to have one fewer thing to get done this year.
It has been fascinating for me to see the changes he is going through now that he is 11. Suddenly I can see him moving toward adolescence. At the same time, he is clinging to childhood. Marc and I have been watching this transformation for some time now, but the things on his birthday list were so telling! He wanted some grown-up things for his birthday: a tent, a sleeping bag, a Camelbak for his bike, cycling gloves. He also wanted some very childlike things: Pokemon cards, a stuffed moose to sleep with, more army guys. I have so many fears about him growing older and going to junior high and high school. I know he will be faced with so many pressures and temptations. I hope and pray that we are teaching him what he needs to know to make good decisions and that our relationship is such that he will be able to keep talking to us about what's going on in his life. I love this little guy.
9 comments:
Max is indeed a most unusual and wonderful person! I am so grateful that he came into our lives and that he possesses the most wonderful traits of both his mother and his father. It is most rewarding to a mother when their (you) own children develop that sense of awe and deep appreciation to you, the mother! You have always shown that to me since the birth of your first son , and those notes are precious. The Spirit will guide you and Max to manhood and I'm sure he will be the same wonderful man that he is today, and better. You are the perfect example of motherhood to me and I admonished Ryan to observe you during our visit. We love Max so much. Good post!
I am using my computer from work for the first time, and I do not know how to edit/change--I see the gramitcal errors, which I know is a pet pieve, but alas, I do not know how to correct it! Sorry, another lesson is needed!
max and lucas are both pretty cool guys once you get them out of their box and get them to talk to you. which aparently a game of scrabble and cards will do.
It totally freaks me out that Max is 11 years old! I feel like I'm always thinking things like, "I remember when he was one" or "I remember when you picked him up from preschool and met 3 month old Landon and I at the park" or how it seems like he just barely turned 8 and got baptized. How can he possibly be 11??
I love the items from his birthday list and love how they are such an indication of the tween-time of life he's in. You're a great mother and have so much patience, love and understanding of him that even the teen years shouldn't be too terrible for you. (Is it wrong that I'm glad you have to do everything first?)
One of my favorite things about the blog is that we seem to be taking the time to write things like this about our families. I always intend to either in a journal or scrapbook but being 3+ years behind makes the writing seem removed. It is fun to read about everyone else's children.
Hey - thanks for going back and reading (and commenting) on ALL of my blogs. That was very nice of you, I always feel like it is a little compliment since you are on dial up and all....
I remember being at that age when you're excited to "grow up" (meaning moving past elementary school), but still holding on to childhood. The years between when I was 11 or 12 and now I think were the years when I solidified my personality, when I grew closest to my family, when I really realized and embraced my identity. This is what I think the next few years hold in store for Max; I think Max will successfully come into his own and have a great time growing up. I wouldn't worry too much about adolescent Max--he's a great kid who will make you proud.
I love this post. I think it is hard to see them on that brink of teenhood. I don't look forward to it, but I see it approaching quickly. a post he will cherish.
wow that is a beautiful post...I love to get to know your kids, I think I know EVA pretty good so it is good to read about the others! I think 10 and 11 is such a cute age...they are so courteous/there is a hint of chivarly still and they are lovable!
I relate to the little boy/big boy emotional tug at your heart. Since John is my only son, I feel a special pang as I see him begin to leave childhood behind, yet at the same time rejoice as I see him mature and grow up. A real milestone for me was seeing him pass the sacrament for the first time earlier this year. Another, the recent discovery that he is now taller than both of his older sisters!
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