Eva has developed a bad habit as of late. She walks up to one of us and pinches -- hard. The pinch is often preceded by a shriek, which is annoying in itself, but at least it serves as a warning for the person about to receive the pinch. Now I don't know if this is a cry for attention or what. It seems to be about attention when she does it to her brothers, but when she does it to me, it often seems like she's mad about something. For instance, sometimes when I tell her she can't do something she wants to do, she'll give me a pinch (as retribution?). Yikes. What happened to my docile little girl? Sure, she looks all sweet and innocent, but watch out...
We scold her sternly when she does it, and I always say, "we don't pinch". The first 50 times or so that I scolded her, she instantly dissolved into tears. Now, however, she doesn't even bat an eye. Double yikes. I'm trying to teach her to give pats instead of pinches. So far it's working a little bit. Normally I will catch her going in for the pinch and remind her that she can give pats, then she might switch in mid-pinch and say "pat pat". Do you think I'm on the right track here, and it will just take repeating this scenario about 1000 times before the pinching stops? Or do you have any other suggestions?
12 comments:
How could that darling, innocent face ever do anything naughty?! I think you're taking the right approach; it's really hard not to get downright angry. John went through a phase when he was about that age of spitting out everything fed to him in a fine mist-like spray over the person feeding him. I used to get so frustrated! He would just laugh, no matter how I scolded him. I took to using one of those spatter screens that's supposed to be used over frying pans to reduce grease spatter. We called it the Spit Guard.
My advice: keep repeating this mantra: "It's just a phase, it's just a phase...."
I say take Denise's advice, otherwise I'd be inclined to pinch her back and explain that it hurts.
My wealth of knowledge would say that the psychology behind Eva's overwhelming need to inflict pain is a transference...
Just kidding - I have no idea! ;)
Maryn is the same way. I decided that the third just comes out mean. Kp once asked me why I brought a mean baby home. She would get frustrated with something, walk around the house to find him, then either pinch, hit or bite him, and he had nothing to do with what she was mad at. Now she will look at me while she pinches, I think it is just for a reaction good or bad. We have a great book called "our hands are not for hitting". And it gives what they are for. I think you are on the right track, since this is what we repeat. Our hands, mouth, feet are not for pinching/hitting, biting, kicking. Than show her what she can do. She is by fair the meanest of the bunch.
We kind of went through this with Devin. I ended up buying a cute little Time Out bench @ Robert's. He learned pretty quickly that when he did the bad behavior that he would have to sit on the bench. And then we would calmly explain to him what he did wrong. It worked pretty quickly! It's amazing what they figure out so young.
I don't know about this one since it is happening to me too! I am still nursing Jorvik and he keeps pinching my arms...I guess they are very fluffy as of late...but he has left BRUSES on them! Ridiculous...I kept saying "no me pellisques" until I had it and pinched him right back...so every time he has done it I say this and pinch him back...in the same place...poor baby...but enough is enough! I think he has stoped!.....
I agree with dpw, she is so cute and innocent, her naughty?
I had a niece who had that habit too, and they would get after her and tell her no, etc... then aunt pammy came to visit and she pinched me on my neck and without even thinking I pinched her back, her look of hurt and surprise was so sad but she never pinched anyone again. Good luck.
Instead of just telling her no I think you are on the right track to replace the bad habit with a new one(the pat is pretty cute).
Oh, no! Not your cute little Eva! Hopefully it is just a phase. If this little phase lasts too long for your liming, however, I'm with Jana and the time out chair. This is a techinique that Supernanny uses all the time. We've tried it with Kaitlin and it works wonders. The key is consistency. She's a little young, perhaps, so only make her sit on the chair for a minute, but make sure she sits on the chair for a full minute--even if you have to keep putting her on there until she stays. Then explain to her why she had to have a time out and give her a hug and a kiss. It really does work!
I kind of going for the 'pinch back' approach. When Sarah was 3 or 4 she went through a kleptomaniac phase where she would sneak into mine and Emily's rooms and steal our stuff, hoarding it under her bed! Mom finally gave us permission to take her things whenever she took something of ours and when she had nothing but a bed and (maybe?) a pillow she stopped. An eye for an eye or in your case a pinch for a pinch . . .
I have no advice, since I come to you for all my baby questions. At least there was a point where Eva did listen to your scoldings- Bella doesn't do much that is bad, but wheneer I tell her no, she doesn't even glance in my direction. Nothing.
I can't get the time-out chair to work with Mya, so I did the pinch back thing and she pretty much will start to do something then say "No, nice Mya" and pat my leg or whatever. I WISH I could do the time-out chair thing...any suggestions Amy? Maybe I gave up to soon, but she just screams her head off and gets off the chair in like 15 seconds.
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