You may have noticed I haven’t posted about my weigh-ins for several weeks now. I have been in a total dieting slump. (I guess things got so bad I didn’t even want to post about it – not good, because that added accountability helps give me an added boost of motivation.) I would gain 2 pounds, then lose 1, only to gain it back the next week. I’m not sure why I’ve been struggling so much with this, other than it’s just really hard! My initial goal was to lose 20 pounds by March 14. I had a subsequent goal in mind of losing another 10 by Eva’s birthday, April 30. Then I would set a new goal from there. This was all going to get me to a place where I had lost a significant amount of weight by the time summer came and I had to face wearing a bathing suit in diverse humiliating situations.
Well, not only have I not lost those 30 pounds I was hoping to, but with all the yo-yo-ing that’s been going on, I only have a net loss of 3 pounds! Yep, that’s 3. I’m disappointed, frustrated, and not a little embarrassed.
I was talking to Jessie about it last week and she said a couple of things that helped me a little: 1. you can’t give up, because you’ll probably end up gaining more in the long run, and even if you don’t, you’ll never be in a better place than you are now; and 2. maybe all these previous attempts were just practice. In other words, I’m learning how to do this. It may take a long time, but if I keep trying, I will eventually succeed. (She got this from a quit smoking commercial, but it seems applicable.) The main message here seems to be that although I have not made much progress toward my goals, giving up will not get me any closer. Persevering will eventually make a difference. I have to believe this is possible, because I just can’t see remaining in this state (or worse) for the rest of my life.
Another thing I've been thinking about: a woman in Relief Society on Sunday was talking about Genesis and the fact that everything was created spiritually before it was created physically. She related this to us by saying that we should be creating the life we want to live in our mind and heart, and that this will better enable us to realize our dreams.
So here’s what I’ve decided: I’m starting a new food journal. During the last 2-3 weeks, I have gotten out of the habit of writing down what I eat. I have to start doing that again – otherwise I know that I eat way more than I realize. I’m also going to try the idea of putting a weekly photo of myself in the journal. I’m hoping it will inspire me either by reminding me that I don’t want to keep looking like that, or hopefully by showing me that I’m making progress. And here’s the hard part: I’ve got to re-introduce exercise into my life. I have enjoyed exercising in the past, but it’s been over 2 years since I’ve done it. I’m so out of shape, and I’m having a hard time deciding how best to incorporate it into my schedule. I haven’t quite figured it out yet, but I know that it’s essential to my weight loss success. I need to visualize what I want to have happen, think positively, and then take loving care of my body. And finally, I’m going to get back to my Monday reports on my blog, because having to report on my progress should be an added incentive to make good choices.
I just have to keep trying. I can't remain where I am for another five years, or even another five months. I've got to do this.
Tuesday, May 09, 2006
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11 comments:
You can do it, I know you can. What about getting that baby seat for your bike and taking a daily ride with Eva? It seems like that could end up being a great activity for you both, and a great way to incorporate exercise without it being too terrible. Also, you're very lucky to have that great track so close to your house, you should go for walks there often (what about calling Heidi and going in the mornings after you take the boys to school?) I wish I lived close enough to walk over and go with you. I'm sure you'll figure something out. Any movement is better than none right?
You have the right attitude, and the right motivation- just return to this post when you're feeling down or unmotivated. I still struggle, even after doing this for about a year. i find motivation in what I told you- I am learning how to do this, I am learning how to take care of my body and eat right, and excercise. I am in this for the long haul, I am doing this for my life, so it's okay if it takes a little while. This is no quick fix. I am going to make it stick. It's a process, and I am learning how to live this new life of mine.
There is a part in the Screwtape Letters that I loved- we can apply it spiritually as well as physically like you mentioned. Speaking of Heavenly Father and us, it says:
"He leaves {them} to stand up on {their} own legs...He wants them to learn to walk and must therefore take away His hand; and if only the will to walk is really there He is pleased even with their stumbles."
I love that because it seems all I do is stumble. So I'm glad He likes it.
I have a hard time with the word "exercise" because people usually associate that with going to the gym. I think that walking is a great thing to do. You can do it with a friend or take your kids.
I think that you have a great attitude. Good job!
ohhhh I feel your pain...I wished there was an easy way to this...the sad thing is that there is move and excercise--the true combo! don't give up. I did with all the company I had, and wish I hadn't--was doing so well...but there is always another day to start...so just do it! I am trying to start my diet plan and then I am so extremist that I can't because I am still breastfeeding and somehow I think that prevents me from dieting...but it shouldn't prevent me from eating healthy! so lets just keep making good choices and also trying to burn some calories by swiming or walking...
Great plan Michelle. You best part- you have recognized what worked for you and you are going back to those basic principles. I have found if I make exercise something fun- it is so much easier. So- I go on a walk w/a girlfriend so we can exercise, but also talk. The bike ride w/your daughter sounds so fun too. Especially when it is springtime in Utah. I love it. Good Luck and don't beat yourself up if you have setbacks.. it will make you more determined.
You so echo what goes through my mind all the time. Your attitude in this post is awesome. Sometimes I have to just force myself to go walking in the morning. Then it is done and over for the day and I don't have to make excuses all day for not going later. Plus it is cooler in the morning and Mya seems fresher and more willing to come along. If Eva likes doesn't mind the stroller, just get up and start walking. 30 minutes is about 6000 steps, so you would be set for the day. I hope you can find somewhere to start and don't lose the motivation. You so can do it!
exercise is a life long curse so Bravo for having a positive attitude! because, really you do feel better even just walking!
you should definately keep going, you don't want to be like the lady Jill said took pain medication after 25 hours of labor! endure Michelle!!
With such positive reinforcement and a strong sense of resolve, you can do this. Push forward and allow yourself to stumble but pick yourself back up and keep going. I'm proud of you and of your attitude, you can and will accomplish your goal.
Go Michelle! You can do it. Don't get too frustrated by a few false starts. Everybody has them, especially where health and fitness are concerned. (A little frustration is good--it keeps the fire to change alive!) You have some great support here, and I'll be joining you in July on the quest to lose some weight and get back into shape. Maybe we can lean on each other in the struggle.
I am struggling with many of these things also. I love that you share how your doing and make me want to try harder. Keep us posted. One of these days maybe I will commit enough to make it public knowledge?!
Your are Nice. And so is your site! Maybe you need some more pictures. Will return in the near future.
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